Coaching & Hunting [most men are like this]

Uncategorized Nov 14, 2019

We may not know exactly what this hunter is shooting at but we’re all pretty sure it is something? He’s likely not just randomly launching arrows into the woods.

While not all men are hunters, and not all hunters are men, in my experience most men do have a target in mind when they are doing just about anything.

Take shopping for example.

Most men want to identify the item that is supposed to be acquired, and then they want to get in, find it, and get out. If however, the “target” is to take a walk and hang out with their wife, then perhaps strolling through the mall would be possible, but God help the woman who stops to look at something on sale. “Are we walking or shopping?” will likely go through the man’s head, if not come out his mouth.

(Disclaimer: don’t email me and tell me you and your spouse are not like this. Results may vary, but a quick google search or research of any kind will tell you that men’s mind’s are...

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So, the driver says, "Where to?"

Uncategorized Oct 31, 2019

Taxi, Uber, and Lyft drivers have a lot in common with good coaches!

When you are looking for a ride somewhere the first question is always, “Where to?” Good coaching is like that as well.

In the Next Level Bridges Coach Training course we have been talking about the importance of the Coaching Agreement.

(That’s coach-speak for defining the goal or focus of the conversation)

Just like when you hire a driver you have to have a destination for the ride to be successful, in a coaching session, it needs to be clear where you are going. This is the shared responsibility of both the person being coached and the coach.

If the coach doesn’t hear a clearly defined destination, it’s his/her job to ask the kinds of questions that will help define where the conversation should go.

Remember, the conversation is supposed to be coaching the client toward the destination!

If we don’t have a clearly defined destination we are just wandering around, both in our...

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Three Reasons Message-Based Discussion Groups Change Lives

discussion Sep 20, 2019

I love my church! And I am delighted with the message-based discussion model we offer to promote active journeying with God and His plan for each of our lives. We have developed a 4 D model that we use to explain this pathway.

 

 

Let’s dissect this for a bit.

Discussion leads to Discovery. There are two ways this works.

First, when we discuss we have to choose words to explain what we are thinking. I don’t know about you but there are many times when I talk about something and end up working out the whole situation just because I am verbalizing. It goes something like this, “I'm dealing with _________ in my life right now. It’s tricky because__________. I’m not sure what to do, but I wonder if I should __________. You know what? That actually might work. Thanks so much for talking about this with me.” The other person may, or may not, have had much input, but just the fact that I had a safe place to talk made all the difference.

The...

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What Noom and Keto, Crossfit and Planet Fitness taught me about coaching? (and evangelism)

Uncategorized Aug 20, 2019

My Facebook feed is blowing up with ads for Noom and I have family members making great traction losing weight on the Keto diet. If you know someone in Crossfit, well, you’ve heard all about it. Personally, I’m all in on MyFitnessPal and Planet Fitness.

What do all these things have in common?

They work!

And the people who do them most often want to share their pathway.

They have good intentions. They want you to experience the success they are experiencing. But here’s the thing.

Not everyone’s journey is the same. Some people prefer to exercise alone and some like group accountability. Some people want to go fast and hard toward their goal and others want a sustainable long term pace.

God made us all different. We all have different triggers and targets.

However, we all have something in common as well. We all have a tendency to want to tell others what worked for us and offer it as THE pathway toward THEIR best future.

Who knows? Our “thing”...

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Maybe You're Just Hangry?

Hangry: adj. (han-gree) a state of emotional angst caused by lack of sufficient nourishment, an increasingly negative outlook as a result of increased hunger.

 Have you ever been hangry? I have.

 Usually, I don’t realize the cause though the symptoms are pretty obvious (to others):

  • Skewed outlook on life
  • Short fuse
  • Negativity
  • Hopeless passivity
  • General and growing sense of angst

It’s a family member that usually helps me out. They start out with kind words. “Hey, you okay?” or questions, “Wow, rough day?” and they move toward mirroring, “You don’t seem yourself. What’s up?”

If I get defensive they help me see that my words or actions are not reflecting who they know me to be. If they are really on their game they just offer me something, like my favorite: a well crafted Starbucks Chai Latte (grande, 9 pumps, nonfat, no foam – just in case you were wondering).

What I don’t like is that my hunger has...

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3 Compelling Reasons To Kickstart any Conversation or Meeting With The High/Low Question

Whether you are a small group leader, family member or a corporate executive the high/low question is a great way to start a conversation or a meeting.

First off: what is the high/low question. It’s super simple. “What’s a high and low for you recently?” It can pertain to the personal or professional and be from recently or since last time you were together.

There are three compelling reasons this works especially well for groups including families, teams, small groups or committees.

Reason 1: Everyone gets a voice.

It can be difficult for people who are not extroverted to find a place in the conversation to share their thoughts about whatever the topic is. In larger groups, I am less likely to speak out unless asked and often see others who feel the same way. They lean back in their seats and observe the show as others carry the conversation. 

Having an expectation that everyone will share gives those less forward a voice in the midst of it all. This is...

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"Remember the Light!"

Uncategorized Mar 06, 2019

When we moved into our new home one of the only downsides was that the "Master Suite" isn't really that sweet. (But hey - you only sleep there.) The biggest adjustment was that the bathroom barely fits one person so we needed to get creative with where I could do my hair. 

Definitely a first world problem, but the struggle was real. 

I opted for my dresser, it was still a little tight and the lighting was less than optimal. Recently, my wonderful husband put up a light for me though. It is really helpful!

I can see clearly now and am having less shocking experiences when I get to work and see something odd in my hairdo.

It's still new to me though.

I haven't always had a light.

So, the other day as I finished blowdrying my hair I thought, "Man, I wish I could see my hair better..." and then He spoke to me.

"Remember the light." 

It was much more than just an assist with my hair that day. I keep thinking about it. 

There's all kinds of things in my life I wish I...

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Don't Just Drink On Sundays

Uncategorized Jan 28, 2019

What would happen if you only drank on Sundays? So the only liquid refreshment you got all week was between 10 and noon on Sundays. I think it would make for a pretty rough week. There would be repercussions in your body. Repercussions that could easily be avoided if you just drank more often.

Just to be clear I am not talking about alcohol.

And to be even more clear, I’m not talking about liquid either.

I’m talking about the refreshment that comes to us through the Word of God - the River of Life that is available to spring up from within every believer.

Your literal drinking habits may be different from mine, but for me, I have to work at drinking more water. For some reason I don’t need to remind myself to drink coffee every morning or mark my calendar to stop by a coffee shop during the week, but drinking pure water is a discipline I embrace.

Indulging in God’s word can be like that. For some, it is only a Sunday morning experience. For others, it is...

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Three Quality Questions to Upgrade "Those" Family Conversations at Christmas (or anytime)

Uncategorized Dec 21, 2018

Family is wonderful! They have history with you, are there for you and will always be a part of who you are.

That's why their stuff is so important.

You care deeply about them, and to be honest their decisions affect your life.

I don't know about you, but for me having quality conversations about tricky subjects can be really difficult. On the one hand, I want to be interested in people's lives but I don't want to be invasive. On the other hand, I want them to live their best life and not be stuck in a difficult set of circumstances that seems to be sucking the joy out of them.

The most common responses to "that" situation or person are two ends of the spectrum: avoidance or dominance. Avoidance just dances around the topic and diverts conversation to more pleasant topics. Dominance busts in unannounced and imposes its preferred action steps.

Here are some thoughts on partnering questions that can be truly caring and offer connection. They could change...

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I'll be Happy When...

I'll be happy when....

  • I get out of this tunnel
  • This season is over
  • That event is done
  • I'm making enough money
  • I get noticed
  • My break comes

The list could almost be endless.

I'm sorry to say that I regularly add to the list. And the sad part is that I already have many of the things I previously said would make me happy... Here's my story.

Awhile back I was thinking an "I'll be happy when..." thought in my head and I felt like God stopped me up short and asked me a question back. "Really Cindy, will you really be happy then?"

I realized right there that if my happiness was contingent on acquiring or accomplishing something that I was pushing off happiness for later. How sad!

What if God wants us to be content IN the meantime? Joy in the journey and all that can be much more than a trite saying.

Don't get me wrong. I know "I'll be happy when...." is just a common expression and likely it's depth is shallow, but when God asked me that question, it...

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