Ten Reasons Coaching Works Better Than Telling

People have stuff!

How you handle it makes all the difference!

Do you feel like you need to have answers for people?
Or maybe you actually do have answers but they don't seem to be listening.

Here are 10 reasons coaching works better than telling!

10) You don’t have to know everything for everyone.

Leaders who tell have to know what’s best for every situation and for each person to be effective. That’s a lot of stuff to know! (And what if you aren’t right?)

 

9) People love it when you focus on them.

Active listening is the highest form of loving someone. When the focus is on the other person there is a lot less pressure on the coach to solve issues. It is way easier to be curious, trust the Holy Spirit, and listen than to have to diagnose and prescribe.

 

8) Relationship trumps regimen every time.

God designed us to be in relationship with Him and others. When we reduce leadership to telling people what to do, we can easily “cookie...

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Imposter Syndrome: Two Myths & A Lie About Coaching

What is Coaching? 

I get asked that a lot.

Maybe you've asked that as well, or you get asked that. 

In the Coaching Culture certification course, we actually have a project where trainees have to give an elevator speech with their version of the answer. (An elevator speech is having an answer you can share with someone in the time it takes for an elevator ride.)

The ICC, International Coaching Community, website puts it succinctly like this: 

Coaching has been defined in many ways. The essence of coaching is:

  • To help a person change in the way they wish and help them go in the direction they want to go.
  • Coaching supports a person at every level in becoming who they want to be.
  • Coaching builds awareness empowers choice and leads to change.

There are plenty of other leadership or caregiving models that are not coaching - like teaching, mentoring, consulting, and counseling. And they each have their place in a person's life.

Christian coaching uses a Biblical model of...

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Top Ten Reasons Coaching Works Better Than Telling

Everyone can use the coaching paradigm! Here’s 10 reasons why:

10) You don’t have to know everything for everyone.

Leaders who tell have to know what’s best for every situation and each person in order to be effective. That’s a lot of stuff to know! (And what if you aren’t right?)

9) People love it when you focus on them.

Active listening is highest form of loving someone. When the focus is on the other person there is a lot less pressure on the coach to solve issues. It is way easier to be curious, trust the Holy Spirit and listen than to have to diagnose and prescribe.

8) Relationship trumps regimen every time.

God designed us to be in relationship with Him and others. When we reduce leadership to telling people what to do, we can easily “cookie cutter” people by categorizing them and offering a rules pathway to results rather than connecting relationally to walk through life with them.

7) Anyone can do it.

Tools needed for coaching are a...

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Just Tell Me What To Do!

Sometimes I just want someone to TELL ME WHAT TO DO!!

Other times I’m on the receiving end of this statement.

Either way it’s a painful moment…

When someone is at that place they feel things like frustration, disconnection, hurt, despair and maybe most of all confusion. Somewhere inside us all we just want to do it right and to know exactly what that means.

If someone will just make “it” clear then we can do “it”. Then one of two things will happen- we will get the results we wanted or we won’t. If the later happens we can then blame the process and likely the person who gave it to us in the first place. If we do get the results we want we can keep going to that person to tell us what to do.

The New Covenant isn’t like this. In the New Covenant the plan is for us to go to God for ourselves and learn to hear from Him. In some ways I like the Old Covenant better where I could just pay someone to go to God and tell me what to do....

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