Good Coaching is about much more than simply achieving SMART goals by making successful Action Steps. It's about transformation. 

In this final blog trending with StoryBrand, let's dig into the concept of taking someone from their natural self to their supernatural self. Donald Miller uses the word "transformation". For us that could mean taking someone from feeling stuck to forward movement, or from being lost to having focus.

Helping people to recognize the mindsets that have held them back can change everything! (Watch for an upcoming series on coaching each enneagram number!)

If we can "see" what has been holding us back we can begin to remove that mental obstacle and move forward. And likely, whatever has been holding us back has affected more than just the one area of our lives. Freedom affects every area of our life.

Let me give a personal, and kind of vulnerable, example. 

Each of us has an internal DNA just like we have an external one. Our external DNA...

Step 2 in the StoryBrand framework is "who has a problem".

Last time we talked about who the character is, the person being coached, and this time we are delving into the focus - what is the problem?

Having a focus is a valuable way a coaching conversation differs from other types of conversations. Normally, when talking with a friend we wander all over the place. It's kind of like a Sunday drive, the point is not to get somewhere, it is simply to spend time with each other. Nothing wrong with a Sunday drive, unless you ARE trying to get somewhere. 

Choosing a focus is foundational for any good coaching conversation. We are not going to talk about all kinds of goals we are going to clarify a specific goal early on in the conversation and then make sure we are focusing on what the person being coached wants and needs.

The conversation is kind of like an Uber driver and the person being coached is the one who decides where the conversation is supposed to go. 

Coach...

We all do it. We make the story about us. It's human nature for us to think of our part and forward how awesome it is.

In marketing, it is common for the product or service to be the main character in the sale. We hear things like, "Our _________ will be the answer", or "We have the best __________". (I've done this before comparing our coach training to others...)

StoryBrand teaches that the person being coached needs to be the main character. When a brand offers to help you be a better you, to serve you in some kind of way, you are much more likely to buy in rather than when they tell you how amazing they are. If something, or someone, truly wants to serve us, it is so different!

Sound familiar? Kingdom culture is like this!

Jesus said He came into this world "not to be served, but to serve". Honestly, this makes me kind of sad. He deserved/s to be served!! 

Good coaching is about serving! It's not about coming in to save the day with the coach being the...

If you take Coach Training with Bridges you will learn about Active Listening and Asking Powerful Questions. We'll talk through defining someone's focus and teach you how to assist with making SMART goals- quality action steps, but we hope that the BIGGEST TAKEAWAY for all our trainees is our definition of success. Put simply:

Success is an active relationship with God. 

Completing an accomplishment is great. Good Coaching certainly helps people with forward movement, but as believers achieving goals cannot be our primary motivation. Our worth is not in whether or not we get "there" or get "that" done in our lifetime, our worth comes from our adoption into the family of God. It comes from our connection with a settled place with our Father in eternity.

At Bridges Coaching when an action step does not result in the desired outcome we say, "'Failure' is good research." But true "failure" is not having a soul connection with God. His Spirit is in us longing for...

Wouldn't you just love it if you could see someone who would just tell you what to do when you were in a jam? If they were sage and savvy and could come through every time it would be well worth the investment.

GOOD NEWS! (and hard news...)

Here's the skinny. We DO have Someone we can go to for the plan! Our plan! Our personal best next steps!

The Holy Spirit IS our Guide! The coaching conversation helps us discern the plan God has for us. Proverbs 4:11 says, "I am guiding you in the way of wisdom, and I am leading you on the right path."

Experience tells us it is not that easy though. So the good news is we DO have a Divine Guide, the hard news is we have to grow in learning how to discern. I don't know about you, but I swing that pendulum back and forth. Sometimes I am so sure that what I am sensing is the plan turns out not to work out. Does that mean I missed it? Or was it just a test? Other times I am paralyzed with concern or...

Let's review our first steps in comparing StoryBrand marketing and Coaching.

First, we talked about how the conversation needs to be about the person being coached. They are the main character in the story we are writing together.

Next, we talked about the problem. One of the big differences between a coaching conversation and just "friending" is that we are purposefully focusing on a chosen outcome that the person being coached wants to focus on!

Next up is today's focus: who meets a guide who understands their fear. 

Here are some of the fears that good coaching helps people recognize:

• feeling stuck with no way out
• not knowing what to do, or even if there is anything that can be done
• feeling abandoned by God and others
• questioning if there is even hope for the future

In Bridges coaching, we talk about the Always Circle and associated lies. There's ALWAYS going to be stuff. God ALWAYS offers a plan. We ALWAYS make choices. Uncovering the associated lies...

Donald Miller first came on the national scene as the author of Blue Like Jazz. A movie was recently made of the book so you can catch that if you like, it's sad and may make some angry, but it's his story and was part of his journey to becoming a thought leader in explaining and understanding how people make decisions.

Today, Miller leads a marketing company called StoryBrand. He builds a premise for forwarding products that takes a refreshingly different, and surprisingly kingdom-minded, approach. 

We'll be taking a look at how the StoryBrand approach is in many ways similar to a good coaching session. 

In essence, Coaching is helping someone write the story they want to live.

What's your story? Are you who you want to be?

How about those around you? Those who look to you? Are you helping them write their stories?

Here's a quick overview of StoryBrand. (I found this on google, so I think it is okay to share it, but want to include a plug for the book by the same name,...

People are so different! God designed us that way :) Learning to discern how we were designed and how others differ can be one of the most valuable insights we can have personally. (You can learn more in our Destiny by Design course!) 

Our focus today is the N and S orientation in Myers-Briggs. What does the N and S stand for? I'm so glad you asked. 

N = Intuitive (since they already used "I" for Introversion they chose "N" for Intuitive.)

S = Sensor

Here are the definitions. 

Intuitives are future-oriented. They think about what could be. Sometimes they live in a world of what could be, or even what should be. They are often dreaming or thinking of how things should change to move things toward a preferred norm. Intuitives may have a more difficult time living in the present, being content with things as they are, or sometimes even celebrating incremental change. They usually live in the future more than the present and want to implement change through innovation.

...

Bet you didn't ever think I would have a list of reasons titled "Why I don't really like coaching?"

(And why God has better plans than me.)

Here is the honest truth.

1) I would rather have someone tell me what to do. It's hard work having to discern on my own. It would just be easier to have a go-to person who would talk out loud to me and give me step-by-step instructions.

(Turns out God wants a personal relationship with me and for me to have a growing adult relationship with HIm.)

2) I want to be that person for others all the time. I want to tell them what I think. I often feel people are being too risky, or taking too long to move forward, or not counting all the costs... a dozen things. It would be way easier to just share my brilliance than to help them discern the next steps God is guiding them toward.

(But what if? What if their risk tolerance is higher than mine because God made them that way and He IS guiding them toward that choice? What if I am being impatient with...

Let's continue our study on how Jesus regularly used questions. (He also really liked stories - are you seeing that?)

Here are some of the questions Jesus used when He could have just made statements.

Then Jesus said to them, “I ask you, which is lawful on the Sabbath day: to do good or to do evil, to save a life or to destroy it?” Luke 6:9

 

They had no money to pay what they owed, but the banker told both of them they did not have to pay him. Which person will love the banker more?” Luke 7:42

A pair of my personal favorites that we talk more about in coach training:

One time when Jesus was praying alone, his followers were with him, and he asked them, “Who do the people say I am?” Luke 9:18

Then Jesus asked, “But who do you say I am?” Peter answered, “You are the Christ from God.” Luke 9:20

Let's take a closer look at this last example for today. Jesus is talking to the man we know as the rich young...