Jesus was rarely a "teller", and when He was it was mainly to the religious leaders when He was telling them off in no uncertain terms.

Think about it when you are reading the gospels. Jesus often responded to questions with questions, or sometimes with stories. We also have the beatitudes and many word pictures about what the kingdom is like. Most often, He encouraged people to decide what they needed to do next.

When we tell people what we think they should do we risk getting in the way of their personal connection with God. Of course, there are moral boundaries and we would never encourage someone to "decide" if those were right, but here are a few examples of where coaching questions could help someone make healthy choices:

• who to date
• whether or not to go to college and where
• how to decide if you should stay with a certain job/role
• choosing where to volunteer
• how to move toward a specific goal, and even if you should

Just to name a few.

Coaching makes disciples by helping...

Some people say it rhymes with "stitch", others tip toward the French and say it with a long "e" and a "sh" at the end. I think there are even some combo folks out there who would say it rhymes with "squish" or "screech". 

However you say it, having a niche may, or may not be an asset in coaching.

Good coaching, as defined by the International Coaching Federation (ICF), or Christian Coaches Network International (CCNI), does not include the coach sharing their expertise in a niche field as the means forward. Instead, good coaching draws out from the coachees the best way forward.

Having experience, or education, in a particular field is not always beneficial to good coaching.

If the coach has a certain bent toward how they think the plan should roll out, they tend to ask leading questions to prompt the client toward their own preferred outcome.

Sir John Whitmore in his foundational coaching book "Coaching for Performance" shares about an experiment he conducted where he...

There are two four-letter words we are going to focus on today.

The first is: lazy. (Probably not the first four-letter word you thought of.)

There are basically two kinds of lazy.

One is intentional -  it includes rest, like a Sabbatical or a Sabbath, a nap, or even an extra good night's sleep. It could be taking a walk, listening to some good music (I recently discovered smooth jazz and only wish I would have known about it sooner), having a slow conversation with a good friend, or enjoying a special meal.

The other is unintentional. Unintentional laziness is when you didn't set out to slow down or neglect an area of your life, you just drifted into being stuck by accident. Unintentionally. At my home church, we recently heard a message that identified a type of laziness I had never thought of before. Our pastor talked about how being busy can be a form of laziness. (You can check the message out here if you like.) Usually, when we think of laziness, we think of someone being...

Storytime:

I had been working on the dating book for years and was on the home stretch when I realized that if I wanted to complete it well, I would need to hire a graphic designer for the cover. When you invest that much time you want to have the end product be something you love. So, I contacted my friend Heather Shertzer and she accepted the challenge. 

She made a cover I am proud of and as a bonus, she redid the cover for Eric's recent book as well. She understood just what it would take to upload them for publishing and how to handle all the necessary parameters for both books. (Be watching for a new cover for Traction soon as well!) Without Heather, I would have spent hours trying to figure out what was needed and probably had a design I was just okay with if I did it myself. 

She is a professional and she was/is a godsend!

So then I go to publish the book. What a milestone! What an exciting event! I order myself a copy and find a few things I want to change. The...

Ever have a recurring thought?

Maybe you are second-guessing a decision, or feeling bad about something you haven't done yet.

Maybe self-doubt is haunting you, but you wonder if there really is something you need to adjust in your life.

Recently I read John 9:42. It's the last verse of the story where Jesus heals the blind man by putting clay on his eyes and telling him to wash it off in a certain pool. Then the Pharisees don't want to believe it and they grill his parents and then him about the healing. Jesus finds the man who was healed and reveals His deity to him. He tells him He came to make the blind see and show those who think they can see that they are blind. The Pharisees are indignant and ask if He is saying they are blind. Then the final verse says,

“If you were blind, you wouldn’t be guilty,” Jesus replied. “But you remain guilty because you claim you can see."

When I read that verse I had an Aha moment.

God's Spirit is always...

Maybe it’s just me, but sometimes when I sing a song that says something like “He won’t fail” it kind of sends me into a bit of a tailspin. (Or maybe it’s the one that says, “God is good, good, so good...”)

I think of so many situations that still really hurt, or are confusing, or didn’t happen, and it makes me feel awkward singing a song like that.  

Here are some situations that come to my mind:

• The accident that took young parents from their children.
• The couple that birthed a still-born child after years of infertility.
• The man who prayed for healing but still deals with chronic pain.
• The family who felt like God was guiding them to launch a business, but it’s been years and the business is just making it.
• The person who faced a trauma well, but then slowly drifted from active faith.
• Someone waiting ... for a transplant, or a husband, or a baby or ...
• The woman who is diligently trying to make an impact but often feels...

I'm learning to discern more. You'd think I'd be better at it by now, but it turns out I'm still learning. For me, following my heart means having the "courage" to call things out when I see them. I have the compulsion to set things right. I feel culpable to say what I see, especially as a leader. I almost always feel I am missing the mark if I don't say something when I hear or see something out of line.

(Feels kind of judgy when I say it like that... maybe because it sometimes is judgy and that's where the Pendulum Process needs to come in!)

Is it always right to say something?

Is it never right to step in?

Sometimes it is "courage" that is needed and I do indeed need to speak up. After all, Proverbs 9:8b says,

"... But correct the wise, and they will love you."

 Yet, at other times we are encouraged to be wise by not speaking up. Proverbs 10:19b says,

"...if you are wise, you will keep quiet."

So what's a gal to do?  Let's take a look at the Pendulum...

So, it's come to this. I went to Costco to get a hearing aid! I KNOW RIGHT! I can't be getting older, I should be able to hear for a lot longer... and all the things.

When my appointment finally came around it was way shorter than planned for two reasons.

1- they said that asymmetrical hearing loss was a medical red flag and I needed to go to an ENT specialist before moving forward.

2- they threw me a curve ball and said my good ear was completely blocked and they wondered how I could hear out of it at all.

(This is where the gross part comes in.) They told me never to clean my ears with a Q-tip but to use soap and hot water in the shower. 

So, I tried it.

It didn't work!!

My "good ear" then became my bad ear! I must have dislodged the build-up and really messed up my ear. I couldn't even hear my blow dryer from that side that morning. With only the hearing from my bad ear, I was nearly deaf. It felt like people were teasing my, moving their lips but not saying anything....

Some Saturdays are filled with stuff to do, or places you have to be, but those are not the ones we are talking about here. Let's focus on those wonderful Saturdays when there's white space... They are probably rare, but also probably wonderful.

Close your eyes with me for a minute and remember that time when you weren't quite sure what to do - the to-do list was blank and so was the calendar and you had that rare thought, "What do I want to do today?"

That's the feeling of Sabbath rest. 

It's a time when you just enjoy life, you connect with your Creator and likely His creation, you are not in a hurry, you eat good food, and have the luxury of time for quality conversation. Your soul sighs, "Ahhh....." in the satisfied kind of way. 

Your Best Saturday self celebrates a week well spent.

Your Best Saturday self enjoys the present and takes a break from thinking about what's coming up.

There is no worry, anxiety, or concern there. It's a true break from the work week and the...

It's not easy to figure out what to do.

We've been digging in to the word "Discernment" as a church staff lately and looking at what it means in our everyday lives.  The Bible gives us overarching guidelines we need to adhere to - like "Don't kill people" in the Old Testament, and "Don't even hate people" in the New Testament.

But, you can't just say to do what the Bible says. Sometimes the Bible isn't so clear. Fairly often even it forwards two completely different responses. Here are a few examples: 

- Share the truth in love ~ Love covers a multitude of sins

- Judge wisely ~ Don’t judge at all

- Give to everyone who asks ~ Don’t throw your pearls before swine

- Don’t take anything with you ~ Prepare well

- Be the head and not the tail ~ Be the servant of all

- Be angry and sin not ~ Be at peace with all men

You get the picture. Even the same situation in a different season of your life will require new discernment

The Bible points us to a...