Questions of Jesus - when there could have just been a tell...

Let's continue our study on how Jesus regularly used questions. (He also really liked stories - are you seeing that?)

Here are some of the questions Jesus used when He could have just made statements.

Then Jesus said to them, “I ask you, which is lawful on the Sabbath day: to do good or to do evil, to save a life or to destroy it?” Luke 6:9


They had no money to pay what they owed, but the banker told both of them they did not have to pay him. Which person will love the banker more?” Luke 7:42

A pair of my personal favorites that we talk more about in coach training:

One time when Jesus was praying alone, his followers were with him, and he asked them, “Who do the people say I am?” Luke 9:18

Then Jesus asked, “But who do you say I am?” Peter answered, “You are the Christ from God.” Luke 9:20

Let's take a closer look at this last example for today. Jesus is talking to the man we know as the rich young...

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Do You Really Want To Go There?

Core Competency #8: Facilitates Client Growth

Coaching is all about choosing a targeted focus, exploring options, and setting SMART goals to move forward, but it's not always a straight line from here to there.

Good coaching goes under the surface and helps the client with more than simply what to do. A masterful coach assists their client by helping look "under the hood" so to speak. Helping someone understand why they are hesitant or worried or not good at counting the cost can be just as helpful as choosing action steps. Probably even more helpful.

If we can come alongside someone as they probe the depths of who they are, we can provide a safe place to nurture what is lacking, heal where there has been hurt, uncover unhealthy thought patterns and more. 

I've seen this in my own life. When I uncovered my tendency to skip the discerning part of the Working  Genius productivity model  I saw how I had invested so much time, and even money, into projects...

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What Kind Of An "Aha" Are You Looking For?

Coaching Core Competency #7: Evokes Awareness

Have you ever heard people talking about an "Aha" moment? They look different for different people and even different for the same person at different times.

Here are a few I can think of:

- "Oh, that's what I should do!"

- "I see now, I am believing a lie, that's what has been holding me back!"

- "Yeah, I need to wait on that."

-"What if I just started with one small step?"

-"Maybe I should get some help with that."

These are all actually "Aha" moments I have had personally. Here are a few more:

"I see a pattern here... I have thought that before."

"Oh! God wants to reveal Himself to me in a new way here!"

"I think I just need to try it and see if it works."

Aha moments are most often preceded by two things: a powerful question and space to talk it out.

The Coaching industry uses the words "powerful questions", at Bridges we often say "empowering questions" and lately I have been taking it a little further and saying "insightful...

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Passion Week Devo - When did Jesus move? [Wednesday]

If I oversaw Jesus’ timeline, I would have made a couple of significant timing decisions differently.

First, what was up with his ministry not going public till he was thirty? Was he not ready? Did the world not need him till then? What was the holdup?

And then once he started forwarding the kingdom full-time, Personally, I think he should have stayed around a little longer. If I were on the leadership team determining whether the disciples were ready to “take it from there” I would have voted, “No” quite adamantly.

Good thing I wasn’t in charge!

Galatians 4:4 shows us the Father was in charge of the timing. “But when the right time came, God sent his Son, born of a woman, subject to the law.

John 5:19-20a says, “So Jesus explained, “I tell you the truth, the Son can do nothing by himself. He does only what he sees the Father doing. Whatever the Father does, the Son also does. For the Father loves the Son and shows him...

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Is The Scale The Answer?

What your scale tells you is just data. It gives you a fact - the honest truth about your weight.

The scale can be your friend if it tells you something you like, or your enemy if it doesn't. But the truth is the scale is just a tool to help you see what really is.

For me the scale is motivation!

If I like what I see it is motivation to keep up the good work, and if I don't like what I see it is a reminder that true change will take intentionality.

That's the bottom line really.

Change rarely happens by accident. It's hardly ever a surprise. 

If I don't like what I see I have two options, well three maybe.

1) I can choose to do something about what I see.

This will include making a plan for an alternative outcome. It will likely include some trial and error, some intentionality and grit, and will probably require a realistic look at a reasonable timeline for effecting change.

2) I can avoid seeing and just not weigh myself anymore.

This plan will avoid...

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Working Genius & Coaching [Tenacity]

We're on the home stretch now! The final letter in Working Genius is T for Tenacity! 

Working Genius says this about it. "The natural gift of pushing projects or tasks to completion to achieve results."

This is one of my geniuses and I have a love/hate relationship with the concept. I mean I don't go out of my way to notice things not getting completed, I just can't help but see them and have a strong desire to see things through.

Most often this is a gift and a value add, but sometimes it isn't perceived that way or received well, or it is just too much.

Once I was called a "pusher" by a well-meaning colleague, and it stung a little. I mean I wouldn't have to push if things were being completed right? ... just saying...

Working Genius has helped me so much! Having Tenacity as a genius can be used for good as a means of follow through making sure things don't get dropped, but it can also be a handful. It's truly hard for me to just let things go without express...

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6 Ways Coaching Makes Disciples (not dependents) Are you making disciples?

Jesus was rarely a "teller", and when He was it was mainly to the religious leaders when He was telling them off in no uncertain terms.

Think about it when you are reading the gospels. Jesus often responded to questions with questions, or sometimes with stories. We also have the beatitudes and many word pictures about what the kingdom is like. Most often, He encouraged people to decide what they needed to do next.

When we tell people what we think they should do we risk getting in the way of their personal connection with God. Of course, there are moral boundaries and we would never encourage someone to "decide" if those were right, but here are a few examples of where coaching questions could help someone make healthy choices:

  • who to date
  • whether or not to go to college and where
  • how to decide if you should stay with a certain job/role
  • choosing where to volunteer
  • how to move toward a specific goal, and even if you should

Just to name a few.

Coaching makes disciples by helping...

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The Shadow Side of "Niche" Coaching

Some people say it rhymes with "stitch", others tip toward the French and say it with a long "e" and a "sh" at the end. I think there are even some combo folks out there who would say it rhymes with "squish" or "screech". 

However you say it, having a niche may, or may not be an asset in coaching.

Good coaching, as defined by the International Coaching Federation (ICF), or Christian Coaches Network International (CCNI), does not include the coach sharing their expertise in a niche field as the means forward. Instead, good coaching draws out from the coachees the best way forward.

Having experience, or education, in a particular field is not always beneficial to good coaching.

If the coach has a certain bent toward how they think the plan should roll out, they tend to ask leading questions to prompt the client toward their own preferred outcome.

Sir John Whitmore in his foundational coaching book "Coaching for Performance" shares about an experiment he conducted where he...

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Which Four Letter Word Is Your Go-To?

There are two four-letter words we are going to focus on today.

The first is: lazy. (Probably not the first four-letter word you thought of.)

There are basically two kinds of lazy.

One is intentional -  it includes rest, like a Sabbatical or a Sabbath, a nap, or even an extra good night's sleep. It could be taking a walk, listening to some good music (I recently discovered smooth jazz and only wish I would have known about it sooner), having a slow conversation with a good friend, or enjoying a special meal.

The other is unintentional. Unintentional laziness is when you didn't set out to slow down or neglect an area of your life, you just drifted into being stuck by accident. Unintentionally. At my home church, we recently heard a message that identified a type of laziness I had never thought of before. Our pastor talked about how being busy can be a form of laziness. (You can check the message out here if you like.) Usually, when we think of laziness, we think of someone being...

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Heather Shertzer, the Fiverr Guy and you


I had been working on the dating book for years and was on the home stretch when I realized that if I wanted to complete it well, I would need to hire a graphic designer for the cover. When you invest that much time you want to have the end product be something you love. So, I contacted my friend Heather Shertzer and she accepted the challenge. 

She made a cover I am proud of and as a bonus, she redid the cover for Eric's recent book as well. She understood just what it would take to upload them for publishing and how to handle all the necessary parameters for both books. (Be watching for a new cover for Traction soon as well!) Without Heather, I would have spent hours trying to figure out what was needed and probably had a design I was just okay with if I did it myself. 

She is a professional and she was/is a godsend!

So then I go to publish the book. What a milestone! What an exciting event! I order myself a copy and find a few things I want to change. The...

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