When NOT to use coaching!
Coaching isn’t for everyone. There are at least three scenarios, or people groups, where coaching would not be a good fit.Â
#1) Ignorance or Immaturity
When someone is new to faith or unlearned in their faith walk it could be unkind to ask them questions beyond what they know or to leave them bumbling around when they simply need teaching.
People grow from discipling and teaching. They need help to know what quiet time looks like or how to study the Bible. They need to learn how kingdom ways are upside down from worldly ways. Selflessness does not come naturally to most.Â
Yet – even in the midst of these scenarios how a person walks out their response is best found in coaching questions.
What a healthy quiet time looks like is different from one person to the next, even how best to read the Bible has multiple quality options. Relating in right ways to others could mean patience or honest confrontation.
Teaching shares good options. Coaching helps people discern how God is leading...
5+ Meaningful Gift Ideas (Discount good till Dec 1)
You’re a person who wants to give meaningful gifts and we want to help!*
Who's on your list -Â Adult Children, Co-Workers, Parents, Grandparents, Pastors, Small Group Leaders?
If you’re like me sometimes it can be hard to find something meaningful to gift. We don’t want to just get something to check someone off our list, we want to give something with real value.Â
Here’s the line-up Bridges Coaching offers:
Traction: This beautifully inspiring workbook uses the same coaching principles from Bridges Life Coach training. Perfect for anyone interested in forward movement: the graduate, the retiree, your small group leader… pretty much anyone who wants to move forward in their faith. $29Â
Soul Care Personal Retreat: These last couple of years have been rough on all of us. Know someone who may be feeling empty, overwhelmed, or hurting? Offer the gift of the Soul Care personal retreat so they can feel fueled, peaceful and healthy! Your pastor, or any other caregiver, can use this print...
Takeaways from "The Coaching Habit" by Michael Bungay Stanier
[Book Review]
In his book The Coaching Habit, Michael Bungay Stanier promotes a path to "Say Less, Ask More and Change the way you lead forever" in 10 minutes with 7 questions!
Pretty bold offer! Let's dig in, but first a couple of important definitions.
Coaching = getting from one place to another.
- solving problems
- reaching goals
- resolving interpersonal issues
A Coaching conversation, therefore, finds a way to get from here to there.
True coaching is not:
- Consulting – giving you my expert advice
- Mentoring – showing you what works for me
- Counseling – diagnosing what is wrong and prescribing what is right
Instead, coaching draws from the other person what is within them. It asks questions and creates confident forward-moving problem-solvers rather than dependent, stuck, blame shifters.
Sound good?
No more: “Just tell me what to do?” or “If only… then…” rather it is a partnering, releasing, cheering-on way of relating that in the end will be more productive and res...
4 Savvy Ways To Avoid Those Awkward Holiday Conversations
If thinking about those potentially awkward conversations is angsty for you, these savvy tips could help you feel settled before you go, and even make for valuable connections once you get there!
(And you can use them outside of the holiday as well.)
1) Start with empathy
When someone shares their well-thought-out views on whatever they are adamant about try thinking about what it is like to be in their shoes. They must have reasons for their perspective. Likely there is something under their views, experiences that have shaped their stance.Â
You have those too - underlying logic and actual experiences.
When yours don’t align with theirs, try being truly curious about how they got there. It doesn’t mean you have to agree, but actual curiosity will lead to empathy.
What if your heart was not to make sure they knew your side, but moreover to make sure they knew you cared about them?
“When you do things, do not let selfishness or pride be your guide. Instead, be humble and give mor...
Looking for MEANINGFUL gifts for your Gift List or Wish List?
I may regret this, but hey ~ it's Christmas!
I just decorated early. I think because I want some sort of do-over for last year... I want to celebrate fully and connect deeply and I want to GIFT MEANINGFULLY!
So, here's the offer.
Check out our Bridges Product page for your Gift List OR your Wish List.
Use the code MEANINGFULGIFT for all our products* for 15% off till Dec 1!
That includes everything from our video workshops all the way up to our certification courses! We haven't had a deal like this EVER!
It's worth the click to check it out and remember, use the code MEANINGFULGIFT for the discount.Â
Have fun shopping! (and if you purchase a gift remember to use the contact info for the person you are gifting to!)
Thankful for each of you and ready to celebrate!
Cindy
*Books from Amazon excluded (I couldn't figure out how to make a coupon for that - they are fairly inexpensive anyway...)
"Coaching for Dummies" with 3 Simple Questions
I have no idea if this book is any good, maybe you should give it a try, or we can cut to the chase and you can work with some version of these three simple questions.
- What are you hoping will happen?
- What are your options?
- What will you do?
We all do it.Â
We have a compulsion to be "tellers". Our hearts are probably right. We want to help people toward solutions. We want to save them the pain we had to walk through when we dealt with their "thing". We want to expedite the process.
But it's not the Jesus way.
Jesus asked us to make disciples, not dependents. That's really the heart of coaching. When we ask questions instead of teaching or telling we empower people to learn to discern God's voice in their own lives.Â
Here's how that works.
Recently I was talking with a co-worker who needed some advice. She was dealing with a tricky situation she needed to confront.Â
- I could have told her my stories of how I confronted situations like that in the past.
- I could have given ...
And just like that, I have ASD...
I first heard of ASD when I was working at a children's home. I was watching a soccer game and trying to get the attention of one of my own daughters. I kept calling out to her. She was playing too close to the road for my comfort.Â
"What is wrong with her?", said a young boy placed in our care who had likely heard that phrase too many times.Â
Without thinking I told him my daughter had Audio Selective Disorder.Â
"What's that?", said Tommy. I told him, "She can only hear me when she wants to."
He thought for a minute and said, "Oh, I think I have the same thing."Â
It hit me recently that many believers, myself included, have ASD sometimes. We can only hear when we want to. For me personally, I struggle with hearing God in the small things. I ask for direction on big things but can miss out when He is calling to me in my everyday life.
Maybe He is warning me not to "play too close to the street" when He sees me complaining about my circumstances, or judging someone else's viewpoin...
? Discipleship, Leadership Development, Coaching and Spiritual Formation ?
How should we grow? How will we know?
This is a time of redefining norms for our world and for the church.
As we move through this season - people are coming back to church in person, or not. People are getting back to relationships they once invested in, or not. People are sticking with new habits they formed, or not. People are pursuing plans they once had, or not.
There's a lot to navigate.
For me personally, I would love it if God just gave us a step-by-step plan that we could follow, and then we would KNOW we were doing "it" right!Â
I would love that full confidence and embrace the challenge to do all the things.
Turns out that is not how He designed our faith walk to be.
Well, not exactly.
The truth is He does have a step-by-step plan for us, but it is an individual path. You probably know the verse as well as I do, but Psalm 119:105 says, "Your word is a lamp to guide my feet and a light for my path."
I wish He would just give us a list and we could check stuff off item...
The ONE Question Crux of Coaching!
Ever wish you had the golden question?Â
The single bullet question to clarify everything?
Well, today is your lucky day!
This question is too easy, but the hardest question you'll ever answer, and one you will be asking and answering the rest of your life.
True coaching, for yourself or others, is based on this one single probe!
Ready?
2 Thessalonians 1:11-12 spells it out for us!Â
"So we keep on praying for you, asking our God to enable you to live a life worthy of his call. May he give you the power to accomplish all the good things your faith prompts you to do. Then the name of our Lord Jesus will be honored because of the way you live, and you will be honored along with him. This is all made possible because of the grace of our God and Lord, Jesus Christ."
Did you see it?
WHAT IS YOUR FAITH PROMPTING YOU TO DO?!
This passage is so beautiful and SO CHALLENGING!
Let's break it down a bit. There are two kinds of prompts.
1) General prompts - these are for all believers the...
But Really ~ What's Holding You Back? (2 ways to use this empowering question)
When thinking about a decision it can be helpful to weigh the pros and cons. Personally, I like to write them out and then take them to an "altar" in prayer and talk to God.
I say something like, "Here we go God, this is what I can see, but you know it all. Help me choose wisely and guide me with Your Spirit!"
Sometimes, I think He gives me the choice myself and encourages me to just decide, and sometimes I feel a certain sense of what I should do. Occasionally, He drops something in my mind or heart that is new information that helps guide me toward the wise choice.
Then, I ask myself this question: What's holding you back?
If the honest answer is fear of any kind: fear of the unknown, fear of how I will perform, or fear of first (I've never done anything like this before), then I calm my soul and ask God for the courage to say "yes".Â
I can not let fear guide my life choices.
As promised, there are two ways you can use this empowering question.Â
1) You can use this question wh...