Can You Honestly Say "I love you and I like you"?
[Guest blog - April Lonneville]
It was the beginning of July 2018. Jon and I were headed out of the state to officiate a friend’s wedding.
We took the rare opportunity to get away together for a few days and headed to the Adirondack Mountains to connect. A few days earlier, we had taken an assessment a friend was talking to me about. (At that time, we had never heard of the enneagram test.)
As we drove through the quiet mountains, listening to the descriptions of our results, I could feel a door creaking open that made me nervous.
It was a door I knew needed to open for me personally, and for our marriage… but, on the other side of that door was vulnerability. Exposure. Intimacy.
Sometimes that can be scary.
Usually, it’s scary enough that many of us just don’t go there.
As the layers...
April's Quest! What's Your Next?
As I sat down to write this blog many times, I ended up getting interrupted by one of my 4 girls, my phone reminding me of the demands of life… or the laundry buzzer cutting through any ounce of concentration.
Here I am though at 12:08 am determined to blog away. It’s finally quiet and time to introduce myself.
I could tell you about my really awesome husband, our girls that keep life exciting, the different jobs I work from home or the other important things (well, I sure think they are important) that I do.
But, really, if there is one thing I want people to hear about, it’s how God poured His love into my heart at a young age, won my affection for life and silenced all wondering in my seeking teenage girl’s heart. He laid a solid foundation of acceptance that has stood strong through many storms.
Because I have experienced such security, I can’t help but want to see others enjoy that freedom as well. What a privilege it is to be loved...
What If The "Greater Things" Are Not What We Thought They Were?
"I tell you the truth, whoever believes in me will do the same things that I do. Those who believe will do even greater things than these, because I am going to the Father." John 14:12
I always assumed that the "greater things" in this verse were physical miracles, and maybe they are, but what if....
What if the transformation of hearts and minds is the bigger, better, goal Jesus was talking about?
Is this why He was always telling people not to talk about the miracles they had experienced? Perhaps He valued the kingdom principles he was revealing to the world even more than the physical relief.
Really isn't that the longer play?
All of the people Jesus healed on earth are now gone, but the lives transformed live on forever!
In Matthew 7:22-23, Jesus says, "On judgment day many will say to me, ‘Lord! Lord! We prophesied in your name and cast out demons in your name and performed many miracles in your name.’ But I will reply,...
Saboteurs Whisper To Us All... Can you identify their voices?
Saboteurs whisper to us all, they sound like friends, they seem wise, but they infiltrate our minds like a poison that tastes sweet.
Discipleship saboteurs say things like,
- if you don't tell them what to do, they will mess things up, it's just the responsible thing to do
- it will take too long for them to move forward with coaching, they would be better off if you just tell them what to do
- it's wrong for you to withhold your story if you went through whatever they are going through, they should learn from your mistakes and do it just like you
The best poison is only a small percent deadly, but if you take it in you will eventually die...
Using coaching as the Biblical way of discipleship helps people build their own relationship with God.
Coaching builds disciples not dependents.
Coach training can teach you how!
Saboteurs whisper their hopelessness on the other side of coaching as well. Coaches have helped me discern many of the following as limiting...
Did You Make Sarah's Mistake? (The Truth About Coaching!)
“Coaching?! I bet I’d be great at coaching! I love when people come to me for the answers to figure out their life. Because, to be honest, most people’s lives are messed up and I usually know what they should do...”
I look back and laugh now, but I’m pretty sure that was basically my thought when I first heard about coaching. People who are bad at managing their life hire someone to manage it for them, right??
Boy, did I have some perspectives shift over the next few years!
Let me tell you a little of my coaching journey:
I took my first coaching course, Coaching Culture, because of a desire to help other people. But I needed help first.
- I needed to learn to let go - to trust that God is speaking to everyone and that they can hear Him for themselves.
- I had to release my “need to be needed” and recognize that the best coaching empowers and gives support for growth.
- I needed to learn how to listen, how to REALLY listen, with curiosity,...
Single Question Biblical Leadership Test (Do you lead like Jesus?)
I believe if you are a believer then you are a leader, because whether you like it or not, whether you realize it or not, people are expecting you to model Biblical living.
It's not easy, but it can be simple.
YOU DON'T NEED TO BE PERFECT, but you do need to be intentionally growing and authentic about your pursuit of becoming like Christ.
So what was Jesus really like? What did He promote as leadership?
Matthew 23:11 says, "Whoever is your servant is the greatest among you."
In my opinion, serving is the best, hardest, and yet simplest lifestyle choice we can make as believers. Let me explain.
It is best because Jesus called us to it. His Kingdom ways are upside down from the world.
It is hardest because it does not come naturally, it requires practice and patience as we all learn how to realize who He is to us and reflect Him to others.
It is simplest when we just let go....
The Skinny On Bridges Coaching! (and a quick dependence quiz)
Bridges Coaching exists to make disciples, not dependents.
We do this through:
- training leaders in the Coaching Culture
- guiding people to understand their Destiny by Design
- personal coaching
- guided workshops: Soul Care Personal Retreat and the Life on Purpose Workshop
- self-guided coaching journal book by Cindy called Traction
It's easy to go through life unintentionally not engaging in what God has for you personally.
It takes clarity and intentionality to move with purpose engaging in God's unique best next step for you!
Most people don't mean to be dependent but here's how you could tell if you are tending that way. Give yourself 1 point for a positive response to any of these 10 markers.
___ I would prefer if someone would just tell me what to do.
___ If only things would come together for me as they do for everyone else.
___ I can't be expected to adult, I just never got the tools.
___ If the right leader would just mentor me, then I could really become...
How To Help Your Client Prep For The Next Time THAT Happens!
[Tips and Tools Series]
You know that thing. The one that really ticks you off. And you're like "AHHHH!!! Why does this keep happening? Can't they see this isn't right?"
Or maybe you're more self-focused and you react to the thing by wishing you weren't so________________ (insert self-judgment here, so quiet, so moody, so wordy, so hot.... whatever.)
Whichever it is here's a quick tip to prepare for the next time THAT happens.
Let me introduce the "Rethink and Prethink".
It's simple really.
You go back to that moment in your mind and define when you were triggered and how you reacted. Whether the other person was at fault or the situation wasn't right is not our immediate concern, but more so how we reacted in that moment.
Many times we live in a state of regret or anger. Or maybe we vacillate between both.
The key is to look back and redo what happened in your head. Then rethink it. What should you have done? How would you like to have shown up?
Now take what...
The not-so-simple Secret To Knowing What To Do When!
Even Jesus had to answer these age-old questions.
"What should I do?" & "When should I do it?"
In coaching, we often focus on the first question. We help people discern a goal and then make SMART goals to move toward that goal.
BUT, what if we are missing a key element?
TIMING!
Imagine Jesus as a young adult. Let's say He is 23 and He is fully God and fully man. He is capable of miracles. He knows his mission is to bring the kingdom of God to mankind - to change the way people relate to God from His time forward.
What a mission?!
I would have been anxious to get going!
I would have jumped the gun!
He was sure of His calling. He had an important destiny. He waited on His Father for the right timing.
I often rush....I want to move things forward so badly that I often pre-empt the perfect timing of God. Ahhh, to know His voice and discern His will, not just in the destination but in the timing!
"Jesus said to his brothers, ...
The #1 Reason "Doing" (alone) Gets A Bad Rap
Let's talk about "Doing" vs "Being", or maybe let's talk about "Doing" without "Being".
In the past couple of decades, there has been a lot of emphasis on just "being". It is valuable to "be".
Be in God's presence.
Know who you are as a believer.
Rest in His love without striving.
Seep yourself in gratefulness that salvation cannot be earned, but only can come through receiving.
THIS IS ALL INVALUABLE! Our foundational core needs to be centered!
Yet somehow in the midst of it all "doing" got a bad rap. I find myself with James on this.
My brothers and sisters, if people say they have faith, but do nothing, their faith is worth nothing. Can faith like that save them? James 2:14
Pretty clear to me.
And yet I get it. If we have only "doing" or works, we are completely missing the point of grace.
"Doing" gets a bad rap when it is not preceded by "being".
Ephesians 2:10 says, "God...