What is Coaching? 

I get asked that a lot.

Maybe you've asked that as well, or you get asked that. 

In the Coaching Culture certification course, we actually have a project where trainees have to give an elevator speech with their version of the answer. (An elevator speech is having an answer you can share with someone in the time it takes for an elevator ride.)

The ICC, International Coaching Community, website puts it succinctly like this: 

Coaching has been defined in many ways. The essence of coaching is:

• To help a person change in the way they wish and help them go in the direction they want to go.
• Coaching supports a person at every level in becoming who they want to be.
• Coaching builds awareness empowers choice and leads to change.

There are plenty of other leadership or caregiving models that are not coaching - like teaching, mentoring, consulting, and counseling. And they each have their place in a person's life.

Christian coaching uses a Biblical model of...

10 things I loved about, and learned, from Stacy Cline.

Stacy Cline was first my college professor, then my grief counselor, eventually my boss (for my years as Dean of women at Elim Bible Institute), and through it all a dear friend.

So many tributes are being written about this amazing man of God right now and the stories warm my heart, tear me up and bring an ache in my heart that physically hurts... I'm happy for him though, like all those who know him, that he is out of pain and with his "sweetheart" once again. I'm happy he is with his Lord and no doubt hearing the words we all long for, "Well done, thou good and faithful servant". (Danielle and Michelle, you are in our hearts and our prayers. May God comfort us all as we are suffering this loss.*)

#1 - He was my first real coach. Stacy rarely told anyone what to do, he most often listened, cared, asked questions, prayed, and helped you work through options till a good choice was made.

#2 - He had an open-door policy. As...

Most of you know I work full time for a church I love - Worship Center in Lancaster, PA. 

Eric and I were not looking for a move when God surprised us with this chapter of our life about 5 years ago. (He's like that isn't He - full of surprises.) One of the questions we had to answer when we decided God was leading us here was what to do with Bridges Coaching. I/we had developed a number of trainings and workshops and didn't feel it was right to just dissolve Bridges. 

God led me to make spaces for others to step into the active ministry roles I stepped out of when we moved. Sarah now is the primary course host for Coach Training and April works with the Destiny branch. Michelle champions the exclusive course of Next Level Coach training. Others facilitate peer pairs as needed. I love it when His plan is a win-win! 

Last year, Alex and Delia Dienner launched a German version of Coaching Culture! Amazing! What's next? (Spanish??)

My role is to continue...

In Bridges Coaching one of the foundational tools we use is called the Always Circle. It is built on these three statements:

- There is always going to be stuff.

- God always offers a plan.

- We always make choices.

See the three "always" in there. Hence the name, Always Circle.

One of the reasons we are intrigued by Escape Rooms is that we know there is a solution and we want to see if we can figure it out. 

Coaching can be like that - if we believe in God.

We have some sort of "stuff". We need to make a decision, or we need a pathway to move forward. We want healing. We're looking for connection. There is something in our life that requires attention and we are hoping for resolution.

In an Escape Room setting, we know that there IS a way out. Others have gone before us. the quest is to figure it out in a certain amount of time and "escape" from the room.

In a Coaching conversation, the parameters are similar. Let's take a look at the parts of the Always Circle...

At our church, we have a saying,

Discussion leads to discovery,

Discovery highlights decisions,

Decisions determine destiny!

The adult learning model forwards the idea that "grown-ups" learn differently than children. Children need to be taught in a top-down leadership model that teaches, or tells, them what to do.

It sounds like, "Don't cross the road without looking both ways", or "Put your coat on before you go outside."

Turns out adults learn better from questions and prefer being trusted with application. That would sound more like, "What are some ways we could safely cross the street?", or "How will you know if you should wear a coat?"

Maybe those aren't the best examples. 

How about a values-based example.

Let's say the point the pastor wants to get across is about having personal devotions. They could tell people they need to read through the Bible in a year, or read for a certain amount of time each day, or that they need to have a prayer journal or any number of...

This is one of my personal favorite enlightening questions.

"What's at stake?" can take me from not knowing whether or not to move forward to being more sure of a next step. 

I've seen people I have been coaching get complete clarity when they talk out what is at stake if they do, or don't do, whatever it is they are thinking about.

The answer to "What's at stake?" is usually clear to me. It has to do with following the Spirit's guidance in my life. If I feel like God is leading me a certain way then what's at stake is my obedience to Him. Following that prompting, in turn, affects my ability to hear Him the next time He is guiding me.

Sometimes it is hard to know if a prompting is really God, or just us. 

Sometimes we feel compelled, but the circumstances don't line up quite yet.

Whatever your situation, if God is prompting you to consider coach training at this time, say "Yes". 

Here are 5 reasons why it might be time and also what could be at stake.

1- Coach...

Do you really want to help people?

You've heard the old adage, you can give a person a fish and help them for the day or teach them to fish and help them for a lifetime.

In coaching that sounds like, you can give a person your answers or help them learn to discern their own for a lifetime. (And maybe "your" answers aren't what they really need.)

Everyone can use the coaching paradigm!

Here’s 10 reasons why:

10) You don’t have to know everything for everyone.

Leaders who tell others what to do have to know what’s best for every situation and each person in order to be effective. That’s a lot of stuff to know! (And what if you aren’t right?)

9) People love it when you focus on them.

Active listening is the highest form of loving someone. When the focus is on the other person there is a lot less pressure on the coach to solve issues. It is way easier to be curious, trust the Holy Spirit and listen than to have to diagnose and...

Coaching isn't for everyone all the time, but it likely is the most underused tool in the adult learning process.

Let's start with a couple of quick definitions.

Telling is when one person has information the other needs and they pass it on. This is needed when the passer of information has knowledge or experience that is essential for the situation at hand.

Coaching has at least two definitions. The core of the word means to get from one place to another, like a stagecoach. Sports Coaches offer pathways to success by having their team execute a plan. Life Coaching is different. 

Coaching is a conversational tool that empowers adult learning. It facilitates "Aha" moments of self-discovery. It uses questions and conversations to help people move from one place to another. Christian coaching acknowledges the Holy Spirit is always guiding people toward what God has uniquely for them.

Ever wish the people around you would "get it" and move forward.

Ever wish you could...

SMART goals

Everything starts with an idea, but some of the best ideas never grow to become real. Having ideas is a great and important first step. Making quality goals changes outcomes and ultimately transforms lives.

It has been said that if you aren’t sure where you are going you will surely get there (nowhere) or if you fail to aim you aim to fail!

In order to have a step-by-step plan or leading from God you need to have steps. You can always change them as He leads, but having them keeps in in motion. It is always easier to turn a moving ship, car, bike, skateboard... whatever.

To quote American philanthropist Elbert Hubbard, 

"Many people fail in life, not for lack of ability or brains or even courage, but simply because they have never organized their energies around a goal."

Dreams are unrefined hope and cost-free aspirations that we might do someday. Converting a dream to a goal is a decision to take tangible steps to pursue it. Goals are specific future...

Looking for reasons not to make goals. Maybe I can help. If any of these are true for you, maybe it would be best to just stay the course.

#1 – You are right where you want to be in all the areas of your life. Open the 
Wheel of Life Assessment and do the project to be sure you are a 10 in every area.
 (Okay, maybe my reasons are tongue in cheek, but hear me out?)

 #2 – You’ve made goals before, and they didn’t work out.

This one hurts. I’ve been there. You get all pumped up about a dream becoming a reality, but then reality burst syour dream bubble.

Can I propose that making a SMART goal could be the cure for this one? Google it, hire a coach, or get the Traction self-coaching guide to walk you through goals that work for you!

#3 – You prefer to just “see how things go”.

This one could actually be a good reason if you really sense God asking you to let things go. It would probably be best said in...