Ever wish you had the golden question? 

The single bullet question to clarify everything?

Well, today is your lucky day!

This question is too easy, but the hardest question you'll ever answer, and one you will be asking and answering the rest of your life.

True coaching, for yourself or others, is based on this one single probe!

Ready?

2 Thessalonians 1:11-12 spells it out for us! 

"So we keep on praying for you, asking our God to enable you to live a life worthy of his call. May he give you the power to accomplish all the good things your faith prompts you to do. Then the name of our Lord Jesus will be honored because of the way you live, and you will be honored along with him. This is all made possible because of the grace of our God and Lord, Jesus Christ."

Did you see it?

WHAT IS YOUR FAITH PROMPTING YOU TO DO?!

This passage is so beautiful and SO CHALLENGING!

Let's break it down a bit. There are two kinds of prompts.

1) General prompts - these are for all...

When thinking about a decision it can be helpful to weigh the pros and cons. Personally, I like to write them out and then take them to an "altar" in prayer and talk to God.

I say something like, "Here we go God, this is what I can see, but you know it all. Help me choose wisely and guide me with Your Spirit!"

Sometimes, I think He gives me the choice myself and encourages me to just decide, and sometimes I feel a certain sense of what I should do. Occasionally, He drops something in my mind or heart that is new information that helps guide me toward the wise choice.

Then, I ask myself this question: What's holding you back?

If the honest answer is fear of any kind: fear of the unknown, fear of how I will perform, or fear of first (I've never done anything like this before), then I calm my soul and ask God for the courage to say "yes". 

I can not let fear guide my life choices.

As promised, there are two ways you can use this empowering question. 

1) You can use this...

                                                 [Guest blog - April Lonneville]

It was the beginning of July 2018. Jon and I were headed out of the state to officiate a friend’s wedding.

We took the rare opportunity to get away together for a few days and headed to the Adirondack Mountains to connect. A few days earlier, we had taken an assessment a friend was talking to me about. (At that time, we had never heard of the enneagram test.)

As we drove through the quiet mountains, listening to the descriptions of our results, I could feel a door creaking open that made me nervous.

It was a door I knew needed to open for me personally, and for our marriage… but, on the other side of that door was vulnerability. Exposure. Intimacy.

Sometimes that can be scary.

Usually, it’s scary enough that many of us just don’t go there.

As the layers...

As I sat down to write this blog many times, I ended up getting interrupted by one of my 4 girls, my phone reminding me of the demands of life… or the laundry buzzer cutting through any ounce of concentration. 

Here I am though at 12:08 am determined to blog away. It’s finally quiet and time to introduce myself.

I could tell you about my really awesome husband, our girls that keep life exciting, the different jobs I work from home or the other important things (well, I sure think they are important) that I do. 

But, really, if there is one thing I want people to hear about, it’s how God poured His love into my heart at a young age, won my affection for life and silenced all wondering in my seeking teenage girl’s heart. He laid a solid foundation of acceptance that has stood strong through many storms.

Because I have experienced such security, I can’t help but want to see others enjoy that freedom as well. What a privilege it is to be loved...

"I tell you the truth, whoever believes in me will do the same things that I do. Those who believe will do even greater things than these, because I am going to the Father." John 14:12

I always assumed that the "greater things" in this verse were physical miracles, and maybe they are, but what if....

What if the transformation of hearts and minds is the bigger, better, goal Jesus was talking about?

Is this why He was always telling people not to talk about the miracles they had experienced? Perhaps He valued the kingdom principles he was revealing to the world even more than the physical relief.

Really isn't that the longer play?

All of the people Jesus healed on earth are now gone, but the lives transformed live on forever! 

In Matthew 7:22-23, Jesus says, "On judgment day many will say to me, ‘Lord! Lord! We prophesied in your name and cast out demons in your name and performed many miracles in your name.’  But I will reply,...

Saboteurs whisper to us all, they sound like friends, they seem wise, but they infiltrate our minds like a poison that tastes sweet.

Discipleship saboteurs say things like,

• if you don't tell them what to do, they will mess things up, it's just the responsible thing to do
• it will take too long for them to move forward with coaching, they would be better off if you just tell them what to do
• it's wrong for you to withhold your story if you went through whatever they are going through, they should learn from your mistakes and do it just like you

The best poison is only a small percent deadly, but if you take it in you will eventually die...

Using coaching as the Biblical way of discipleship helps people build their own relationship with God. 

Coaching builds disciples not dependents.

Coach training can teach you how!

Saboteurs whisper their hopelessness on the other side of coaching as well. Coaches have helped me discern many of the following as limiting...

“Coaching?! I bet I’d be great at coaching! I love when people come to me for the answers to figure out their life. Because, to be honest, most people’s lives are messed up and I usually know what they should do...”

I look back and laugh now, but I’m pretty sure that was basically my thought when I first heard about coaching. People who are bad at managing their life hire someone to manage it for them, right??

Boy, did I have some perspectives shift over the next few years!

Let me tell you a little of my coaching journey:

I took my first coaching course, Coaching Culture, because of a desire to help other people. But I needed help first.

• I needed to learn to let go - to trust that God is speaking to everyone and that they can hear Him for themselves.
• I had to release my “need to be needed” and recognize that the best coaching empowers and gives support for growth.
• I needed to learn how to listen, how to REALLY listen, with curiosity,...

I believe if you are a believer then you are a leader, because whether you like it or not, whether you realize it or not, people are expecting you to model Biblical living. 

It's not easy, but it can be simple.  

YOU DON'T NEED TO BE PERFECT,  but you do need to be intentionally growing and authentic about your pursuit of becoming like Christ.  

So what was Jesus really like? What did He promote as leadership?  

Matthew 23:11 says, "Whoever is your servant is the greatest among you."  

In my opinion, serving is the best, hardest, and yet simplest lifestyle choice we can make as believers. Let me explain.  

It is best because Jesus called us to it. His Kingdom ways are upside down from the world.  

It is hardest because it does not come naturally, it requires practice and patience as we all learn how to realize who He is to us and reflect Him to others.  

It is simplest when we just let go....

Bridges Coaching exists to make disciples, not dependents.

We do this through:

• training leaders in the Coaching Culture
• guiding people to understand their Destiny by Design
• personal coaching
• guided workshops: Soul Care Personal Retreat and the Life on Purpose Workshop
• self-guided coaching journal book by Cindy called Traction

It's easy to go through life unintentionally not engaging in what God has for you personally.

It takes clarity and intentionality to move with purpose engaging in God's unique best next step for you! 

Most people don't mean to be dependent but here's how you could tell if you are tending that way. Give yourself 1 point for a positive response to any of these 10 markers.

___ I would prefer if someone would just tell me what to do.

___ If only things would come together for me as they do for everyone else.

___ I can't be expected to adult, I just never got the tools.

___ If the right leader would just mentor me, then I could really become...

[Tips and Tools Series]

You know that thing. The one that really ticks you off. And you're like "AHHHH!!! Why does this keep happening? Can't they see this isn't right?"

Or maybe you're more self-focused and you react to the thing by wishing you weren't so________________ (insert self-judgment here, so quiet, so moody, so wordy, so hot.... whatever.)

Whichever it is here's a quick tip to prepare for the next time THAT happens. 

Let me introduce the "Rethink and Prethink".

It's simple really.

You go back to that moment in your mind and define when you were triggered and how you reacted. Whether the other person was at fault or the situation wasn't right is not our immediate concern, but more so how we reacted in that moment.

Many times we live in a state of regret or anger. Or maybe we vacillate between both. 

The key is to look back and redo what happened in your head. Then rethink it. What should you have done? How would you like to have shown up?

Now take what...