Celebrate With Us!?
Recently I had a dream come true!
Can I share? Bridges Coaching is just about 14 years old now and for at least half that time has employed others besides just me. (Shout out to those of you who have facilitated a peer pair!! I'd list you all but am entirely fearful I would miss someone.) Two colleagues stand out - Sarah Fulton and Michelle Pavasars have been working with me consistently for quite a few years now! Sarah facilitates the Coaching Culture Life Coach Certificaiton cohorts and Michell hosts the Next Level Coaching Training cohorts.
Earlier this year Michelle contacted me and said she was planning a trip East and wondered if we could get togehter. Michelle lives in California - so it is a real treat when I get to see her in person. This trip would be our third time including the day we met in California and one other brief brunch when her family was visiting DC.Â
Of course I said YES!!
As the time apporached I got a God-idea! What if we invited Sarah, who lives in FLorid...
Tackling The "If Only" Hurdle (O in the Coaching ROAD)
What if you could see your "if only" as a hurdle not a closed gate?
What's an "if only"? I'm glad you asked!
"If only's" are the mental obstacles that come up when you think about forward movement.Â
In Coach Training we categorize them in past, present, and future. They sound like this:
Past: If only I...
- grew up in a different family.
- hadn't gone through that trauma.
- didn't make that decision.
Present: If only I...
- had more money.
- had more time.
- could connect with that one person or org.
Future: If only I...
- had a better promo plan.
- knew how long it would last.
- knew it would work.
Here's the thing. "If only's" rob us of what could be. They are like a chasm; we can build bridges to get over them. "If only's" are excuses that have dug a rut in our thought patterns. They are the obstacles we come up against when we think about the goal we want to move toward.Â
We've been talking about the Coaching ROAD. First comes R- recognizing the focus we want to pursue. ...
But Seriously, Have You Ever Considered Coach Training...
Coach training isn't just for aspiring coaches, (but we have launched plenty into private practice.)
Do you have:
- conversations with friends that you wish would actually help them feel more confident?
- direct reports you wish were growing more?
- children you want to help mature to make healthy Godly decisions?
- aging parents who need respect, but also need to weigh transitional decisions?
- adult children you care about but don't want to interfere?
The Coaching Culture comes alongside your relational connections and gives you tools to be more effectual in helping people discern what God has for them.
What would it be worth to you to be able to help people help themselves?
What if there were overarching principles that could help people engage with owning their own situations and next steps?
Learning the skills of active listening and how to ask empowering questions can take your everyday conversations to a next level. Coaching culture helps you help others help themselves get ...
Step 4: Perhaps The Most Neglected But Most Valuable
So let's say you did it!
You achieved your goal!
You lost the weight or developed the new habit. You removed the lie and embraced the truth. You navigated a difficult conversation or built a bridge to a better relationship.Â
Whatever you did it took work!
Whatever you did it was worth the effort!
But now what? If your goal was not a project you were completing, you are susceptible to falling right back into your old ways. After all, you have spent more of your life doing whatever you did before than you have doing it the new way.Â
Just because you did it once, or even a few times, does not make it your new normal - yet.
(And even if the goal you achieved was completing a project of sorts, some of the following principles will still apply.)
What will it take to maintain your gain?l
At Bridges Coaching, we like to use two methods -Â Intentional Evaluation and Feedback. You can decide which would best suit your situation.
Intentional Evaluation is something you can do on your own...
Heather Shertzer, the Fiverr Guy and you
Storytime:
I had been working on the dating book for years and was on the home stretch when I realized that if I wanted to complete it well, I would need to hire a graphic designer for the cover. When you invest that much time you want to have the end product be something you love. So, I contacted my friend Heather Shertzer and she accepted the challenge.Â
She made a cover I am proud of and as a bonus, she redid the cover for Eric's recent book as well. She understood just what it would take to upload them for publishing and how to handle all the necessary parameters for both books. (Be watching for a new cover for Traction soon as well!) Without Heather, I would have spent hours trying to figure out what was needed and probably had a design I was just okay with if I did it myself.Â
She is a professional and she was/is a godsend!
So then I go to publish the book. What a milestone! What an exciting event! I order myself a copy and find a few things I want to change. The font was too...
4 Simple Steps to Get There - Use the Coaching ROAD
Helping people help people is what Bridges Coaching is all about! If you are in the business of helping it can be easy to take responsibility for other people’s forward movement, but even God offers free will. That is why coach training is so valuable!
Here is a pathway of simple questions that can benefit both you and the people you work with. Let’s take a conversational trip on the Bridges Coaching ROAD:
Recognition-Ownership-Action-Dedication.
R = Recognition
Sometimes the “Ah ha” moment a person is looking for can be as simple as figuring out what they are really trying to figure out. God is always moving us toward alignment with His purposes in our lives and our world. People may ramble in conversation and helping them move forward may be as simple as asking some directed questions:
What is it that you really want to focus on?
Friends of this question could be: What is the core issue? or What is the question you need answered?
In any event, this is the stage where you esta...
So What’s The Deal With “Agency”?
“Agency” is the new buzzword we keep hearing in podcasts and even recently published books, but what does it really mean?
Here are some thoughts on agency, where it comes from, and what makes it so very valuable in our personal lives!
Ever hear of the series “Orange is the new black”? I don’t think I ever watched it once, but I found the title interesting. Basically, it meant that the criminals who once wore black every day were now wearing orange every day in prison. So, for them, orange became their new normal.
When I first started learning, and then blogging, about coaching the word “Ownership” was a regular topic and tag.
Agency is the new Ownership.Â
Agency means we have choices.
- We can advocate for ourselves in certain situations.
- We can choose our perspective.
- We can remove ourselves from harmful places.
- We can work toward our preferred future.
- We can grow spiritual and process our thoughts and feelings in healthy ways.
Agency means we have free will.
Where did t...
Why I Do What I Do Now - An Honest Disclosure
Most of you know I work full time for a church I love - Worship Center in Lancaster, PA.Â
Eric and I were not looking for a move when God surprised us with this chapter of our life about 5 years ago. (He's like that isn't He - full of surprises.) One of the questions we had to answer when we decided God was leading us here was what to do with Bridges Coaching. I/we had developed a number of trainings and workshops and didn't feel it was right to just dissolve Bridges.Â
God led me to make spaces for others to step into the active ministry roles I stepped out of when we moved. Sarah now is the primary course host for Coach Training and April works with the Destiny branch. Michelle champions the exclusive course of Next Level Coach training. Others facilitate peer pairs as needed. I love it when His plan is a win-win!Â
Last year, Alex and Delia Dienner launched a German version of Coaching Culture! Amazing! What's next? (Spanish??)
My role is to continue writing and offering practic...
But Really, How Will You Know When It Is Time?
Well...
“How will you know?”
It’s probably my favorite coaching question out there.
"How will you know (what ___)," "how will you know (when ___)," "how will you know (how ___)."
When prompted by the Holy Spirit to ask that powerful question, it unlocks a potential path forward for the person sitting across from you.Â
Instead of listening to advice or guidance from a "coach," the "how will you know" question puts the ball completely in their corner.Â
So, how will you know when it’s time to sign up for coaching certification?
Or how will you know when it’s time to ask someone you lead if they’re ready to sign up for coaching certification?
There are only five days left to register for our upcoming coaching cohort and there's no better time than the present to ask yourself "How will I know if it's time?"
Coach Training Isn't Easy -- But It Is Totally Worth It!
...In fact, you should probably think it through before you consider it.
It’s not easy changing a personal paradigm, and almost everyone needs to make major adjustments.
It’s costly, not just monetarily, but it will take time and effort. It’s intense.
To be honest, it’s humbling.
It’s one thing to affirm the concept in theory and another to put its values into regular practice.
BUT IT IS TOTALLY WORTH IT!
Coaching changed my life AND it has changed the people around me.
Here are some ways I have seen it actually accomplish end goals that would never have happened if I had not taken coach training.
- Interactions with family are different now.
* Marriage: One of the best surprises in my coach training was how it affected my marriage. I didn’t see that coming as I simply intended to use coaching in ministry, but what a wonderful asset it is to be able to love my husband more by listening well, believing in him, and hearing how the Holy Spirit is leading him.
* Adult children: Befo ...