Or maybe the question, "What keeps you up at night?"

"What raises your blood pressure?"

or "What makes you emotional?" - angry, or excited, or sad.

Learning to define your passion areas is just one of the markers in your divine design, your internal DNA.

Maybe you have a people group you really care about, or maybe it's a cause that needs investment. It could be that you are the type of person that wants to partner with another and be the hero that helps them get to their goal - your passion is helping! 

In the Destiny by Design course one of the projects is to look at your passion verbs, your own personal core desires. This was very insightful for me personally as I realized more about where I should be investing my time and energy.

You'll learn to write your own Life Purpose Statement and how to make decisions based on whether the available option is the best choice for you, and honestly whether you are a good fit for the option.

Getting traction to move toward whatever God...

Let's take a quick look at the biblical definition of love.

1 Corinthians 13:4-7 says,

     Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous, it does not brag, and it is not proud. Love is not rude, is not selfish, and does not get upset with others. Love does not count up wrongs that have been done. Love takes no pleasure in evil but rejoices over the truth. Love patiently accepts all things. It always trusts, always hopes, and always endures.

Benevolent Detachment is patient - it doesn't rush the other person to make a decision or take an action step.

Benevolent Detachment actually IS kind. We talked about that last time.

Benevolent Detachment is not jealous. It doesn't look at where others are at and wish for what they have, it is being consciously grateful for what we do have.

Benevolent Detachment does not brag and is not proud. It doesn't show off or compare, "If you want to know what I think..."

Benevolent Detachment is not rude, it doesn't butt in...

The definition of benevolent includes words like kind and well-meaning. They sound like Jesus words to me, but how can "benevolent" be paired with "detachment" and still be kind and well-meaning?

Think of it this way. 

Someone calls our church with a need for rent money. We have a certain protocol we walk through before helping out and one of the questions we need answered is whether or not we have helped in the past. Imagine if someone could just call every month and we just paid their rent for them. Would that be good for them? 

Instead, we offer financial coaching. We want to help people have gainful employment, manage their finances, and set them up for a more secure future. 

We want to help them learn to fish instead of just giving them a fish.

We are playing the long game. 

It's easier, and in truth feels more rewarding, to just give the fish, pay the rent, meet the need, make the decision, give the guidance, soothe the pain...

It's better, and in...

Ever just want to shake someone? I have. 

Okay, maybe not physically, but I have wanted so badly to help someone SEE something. It's mind-boggling to me how tolerant people can be of difficult circumstances they could actually do something about!

If I'm honest I've wanted to shake myself at times as well!

You'd think the low experience would be enough for a wake-up call, but no. We keep doing the same thing over and over, and not adopting the new thing we know would be better for us. 

What was God thinking when He gave us free will? 

Apparently, this is not a new phenomenon. Paul says in Romans 7:15

     I do not understand the things I do. I do not do what I want to do, and I do the things I hate.

But then later in Romans 12:2, he says, 

     Do not be shaped by this world; instead be changed within by a new way of thinking. Then you will...

Secretly, I think we all want to be special.

We all want to have unique giftings and be a valuable part of something. To have impact. To make a difference.

So, we all really want God to have a personal plan for us individually, but maybe we aren't sure if He does - right? 

What if I told you you really were special? I'm excited to say GOD DOES HAVE A UNIQUE PLAN FOR EACH OF US! You can know it, we can help!

Scripture is clear that God has given different gifts to each of us. 1 Corinthians 12 and Ephesians 4 are two places that list some of the gifts. If you understand who you were created to be, you can move forward with your personal destiny with more confidence. 

In our Destiny by Design course, you'll learn about your unique design and uncover the seeds God has placed inside you. It's our job to tend those seeds and help them develop into the plants God intends for them to become!

Learn more here!

Don't spend your life wondering! You can KNOW God's personal...

I am LOVING John Eldridge’s Pause App prompts and the new 30 Days to Resilient plan! (I just completed my first round and am excited to repeat the whole thing!)

That’s where I first heard about Benevolent Detachment.

If you aren’t sure what that is a quick definition includes, in Eldridge’s words, “releasing everyone and everything to Him.” It’s the art of letting God be God and letting go of our compulsion to change people or situations. It involves a combination of a rooted perspective of who God is in our lives, mixed with a healthy understanding of free will, prayer, and trust in God to be there for us and for others.

When we fix our attention on what’s wrong in our lives, other’s lives, or our world - our attention is not where it needs to be. On Jesus.

Benevolent Detachment is a reminder to hit the refresh button in our souls. To close our eyes to the world around us and the chatter within us and commune with Him...

Ever wonder what Coach Training is all about, or what it would feel like? 

Here's your chance to give it a try! 

On July 15 we'll be offering our first-ever Bridges Coaching Lunch & Learn!

JOIN US for this taste and see experience where we'll learn about the CHRIST model* - the single most significant coaching tool I've come across in the last 4 years!

Whether you are a coaching newbie, rookie, or veteran, this online lunch hour class will give you:

• an overview of the CHRIST model that you can use in coaching sessions, for meeting agendas, or even in casual conversation
• a taste of what coach training it like
• an introduction to some of our Bridges Coaching leaders and other potential cohort members (maybe you'll even find a peer partner to take a course with!)

The class will be on Zoom from 12 -1 EST. (We'll send the link once you register.)

USE THE CODE: FBFRIEND to waive the $20 fee!

We believe you'll walk away with hope for your...

Dreamers tend to have an idea a minute. 

You know the type. They are pretty quick with a "What if?" They keep us moving forward, trying things and improving what is already there. 

Maybe you are the type. You have more vision than there are years in the century. It's a gift and a curse because you always have more good ideas, but it's hard because you probably can't do them all. (And let's be honest, sometimes you start stuff that doesn't get done.)

SO, how do you decide what to do when? And how? And with whom?

Coaching can help! In fact, that is one of the outcomes coaching is designed for!

Now, let's talk about Doers.

Doers get stuff done. Their focus is less on what could be and more on what is.

You know the type. They are hard-working, dependable, and responsible. They seem to be tireless.

Maybe you are the type. You don't need someone to check up on you because your internal motivation will keep things running smoothly and get the stuff checked off the...

Jenn is a business professional who goes to my church. She contacted me a number of months ago asking if there was any way I would mentor her. 

I responded with my usual thoughts about mentoring (Check out the mentoring blog here.) And that's exactly what she wanted. 

How fun!

Until our last session.

Jenn started out by pulling the Bridges "Traction" book out of her purse and told me she was "mad" at me and we would get to that later. We processed a work conundrum she was walking through and talked about the podcasts she had listened to since our last time together. She had asked me for book recommendations and so I had worked on a short list I thought might benefit her with descriptions of the books and whether they were secular or faith-based etc.

That's when she let me have it!

"Why is your book not on that list?", she asked in no uncertain terms.

"Your book has helped me more than almost any other I have read!"  (I mean, of course, I will mentor her if she...

As a former Bible college dean, I’ve had many young people ask for mentoring. For clarity’s sake, I learned to ask back what exactly they were looking for in a mentoring relationship.

Here’s some of the answers I received:

• I don’t know what I’m looking for, isn’t that what you are supposed to decide?
• Well, I just know I am supposed to have a mentor, so whatever you think is right is good by me.
• I need someone to tell me how to grow spiritually.

While I applauded their initiative for spiritual growth and there was some value in their ideology, in this paradigm the responsibility for their development was all placed on me. I felt I was supposed to design a pathway for their spiritual growth. They wanted me to discern what their next steps would be. And in some cases, there was a hope that I would use my influence to connect them with a ministry position. Their perspective was one where I would be the leader, the teacher, and the guide and they...