Just Tell Me What To Do!
Sometimes I just want someone to TELL ME WHAT TO DO!!
Other times I’m on the receiving end of this statement.
Either way it’s a painful moment…
When someone is at that place they feel things like frustration, disconnection, hurt, despair and maybe most of all confusion. Somewhere inside us all we just want to do it right and to know exactly what that means.
If someone will just make “it” clear then we can do “it”. Then one of two things will happen- we will get the results we wanted or we won’t. If the later happens we can then blame the process and likely the person who gave it to us in the first place. If we do get the results we want we can keep going to that person to tell us what to do.
The New Covenant isn’t like this. In the New Covenant the plan is for us to go to God for ourselves and learn to hear from Him. In some ways I like the Old Covenant better where I could just pay someone to go to God and tell me what to do....
Five Ways To Keep Your People Needing YOU!
Leadership can be tough on a person. It’s hard to help your people along when they won’t listen, so here’s some tips to help. (And just in case you aren’t catching the sarcasm this is all tongue in cheek.)
1- Go to God for them.
Whether you are a pastor or parent, teacher, mentor or friend please keep in mind that you are adept in Bible reading and have had more experience praying. You’ve been a believer longer than the people you want to help, so it would be better if you just heard from God FOR them. Tell them what you think God is saying and then they will be less likely to mess up. And they will continue coming to you and you can tell them what you think God is saying.
This will save them the time and bother of learning to hear from God for themselves. Plus it keeps your finger on the pulse of where things are going so you can direct things the way you see fit.
2- Share your dream so they can get onboard.
You are the leader so lead. You decide what...
Two Healthy Pathways To Manage The Discussion Dance
We probably all have at least one. You know, that person that drives you crazy. You just know when you see them next that the conversation will probably go south.
In fact you could probably predict the dialogue. You are going to say something, and then they are going to say their thing. You reply, they counter, etc. (In fact, you could probably change sides and say each others lines just to spice things ups sometime!)
There’s two healthy ways you can work on a conversation/relationship like that. I call them the Pre-think and Re-think.
The Pre-think Pathway
This pathway pre-empts the tricky conversation by (you guessed it) thinking ahead about what is going to happen. If you can pre-think what they are going to say you can change something in the way you move and disrupt the familiar dance.
The idiom “It takes two to tango” has quite a bit of merit to it.
Gary Smalley calls it “the fear dance” in his insightful book The DNA of Relationships.
...
Five Surefire Ways To Stifle A Quality Conversation
Are you looking for ways to shut someone down while they are sharing?!
Probably not, but it’s almost too easy to do without knowing.
Check out these tongue-in-check conversation killers to see if you are guilty of stifling a quality conversation.
1) One up their story – Your story is probably better or worse than theirs and likely a lot more interesting. So, see if you can get them to stop sharing by telling your similar story with more color or finesse. See if you can get them to feel guilty since your have gone through something far more difficult or silly for celebrating since your deal was grander!
2) Interrupt – Cut to the chase by finishing their sentences for them. This will save time and keep them from having to find words that truly express what they are thinking or feeling.
3) Jump to conclusions – You probably know what’s going on in their life better than they do, so go ahead and decide in advance of hearing them out. This will help them...