Paul Used Questions Too...
Chapter 2 of Philippians starts with a list of questions.
Does your life in Christ give you strength? Does his love comfort you? Do we share together in the spirit? Do you have mercy and kindness?
This verse always makes me pause and think. Does my life in Christ give me strength? In all honesty, sometimes I don't feel strong. I feel like I am not up to all that is on my plate or on my mind...
Then I look at the comfort question - I'm challenged there too. I'm one of those people who doesn't spend too much time thinking about how I feel, but then I spiral into overwhelm because I didn't read the warning signs...
What Paul could have done was just make statements. That would have gone something like this:
You should be strong because life in Christ gives you what you need. You should feel comfort and share in the Spirit, as well as have experience receiving and giving mercy and kindness.
I'm quite sure that if that verse was presented like that I would not pause...
What Jesus Could Have Said... a one chapter snapshot
Jesus loved to ask questions. He often replied to questions with questions or used questions to teach.
Questions get people thinking.
Let's take a look at just one chapter of the Bible and see how Jesus used this tool.
Luke 20 finds Jesus in the temple teaching.
In Luke 20:3 Jesus is answering a question about where His authority comes from and He says, "I will also ask you a question. Tell me: When John baptized people, was that authority from God or just from other people?"
Jesus could have simply answered the question. He could have said, "My authority comes from God, who is my Father. He and I are one with the Holy Spirit."
Why do you think He didn't just say it clearly like that?
He goes on to tell a story of a vineyard owner and his son.
(Side note: Jesus often told stories and then just walked away - I would have probably taken great pains to explain the story and make sure the listeners "got it". Do you think He just trusted the Holy Spirit to reveal...
What Kind Of An "Aha" Are You Looking For?
Coaching Core Competency #7: Evokes Awareness
Have you ever heard people talking about an "Aha" moment? They look different for different people and even different for the same person at different times.
Here are a few I can think of:
- "Oh, that's what I should do!"
- "I see now, I am believing a lie, that's what has been holding me back!"
- "Yeah, I need to wait on that."
-"What if I just started with one small step?"
-"Maybe I should get some help with that."
These are all actually "Aha" moments I have had personally. Here are a few more:
"I see a pattern here... I have thought that before."
"Oh! God wants to reveal Himself to me in a new way here!"
"I think I just need to try it and see if it works."
Aha moments are most often preceded by two things: a powerful question and space to talk it out.
The Coaching industry uses the words "powerful questions", at Bridges we often say "empowering questions" and lately I have been taking it a little further and saying "insightful...
Guest Blog: Applying Working Genius To Your Real Life
My daughter Natalie has been leaning into the Working Genius model and wrote this blog with a real-life story and application. If you are an inventor, galvanizer, or discerner this will be of special interest, but don't just think personally - you coach, work with, and have family members who are inventors, galvanizers, and discerners too! Hope you get as much out of it as I did!
[That's Natalie and her husband, Mike, in the picture.] Here's her blog:
Have you been reading the genius blogs and wondering how can this apply to real life? What if I am the only participant at my workplace or in my family who is interested in this topic? Especially if your genius is not galvanizing.
Fear not, I am a galvanizer. Wait discerners, don’t go anywhere… this blog is actually for you. As an inventor and galvanizer, I am attracted to discerners… my husband, several former bosses, and many of my closest friends. Often times I have felt that I cause them distress,...
'23 Reflection Questions & '24 Vision Questions
I wrote some end-of-the-year questions for our church and wanted to share them here as well.
Check out these thought-provoking questions and conversation prompts for this holiday season! Use them on your own, in a family group, or at your New Year's party.
2023 Reflections:
- What one event stands out to you that marks this last year – maybe something you are grateful for, something you overcame, or a little of both?
- What relationships were significant for you this last year?
- When did you have the most fun?
- Was there a verse or phrase that was especially meaningful?
- What fruit of the spirit marked your year? (Love, Joy, Peace, Patience, Kindness, Goodness, Faithfulness, Gentleness, Self-Control).
2024 Vision:
- What brings you joy and how could you do more of it in this next year?
- Who is one person you could invest in this next year and how could that make a difference in their life?
- What accomplishment would you like to start or complete this next year?
- Where is one...
Working Genius & Coaching [Tenacity]
We're on the home stretch now! The final letter in Working Genius is T for Tenacity!
Working Genius says this about it. "The natural gift of pushing projects or tasks to completion to achieve results."
This is one of my geniuses and I have a love/hate relationship with the concept. I mean I don't go out of my way to notice things not getting completed, I just can't help but see them and have a strong desire to see things through.
Most often this is a gift and a value add, but sometimes it isn't perceived that way or received well, or it is just too much.
Once I was called a "pusher" by a well-meaning colleague, and it stung a little. I mean I wouldn't have to push if things were being completed right? ... just saying...
Working Genius has helped me so much! Having Tenacity as a genius can be used for good as a means of follow through making sure things don't get dropped, but it can also be a handful. It's truly hard for me to just let things go without express...
Is Coaching Even Biblical? [Part 1]
A pastor friend of mine recently told me that a mentor of his mentioned that he wasn't even sure coaching was biblical. I actually understand that question.
Many people, pastors even, don't really know what coaching is.
And if I'm completely honest, I really wish there was a different word than coaching for that very reason. It gets confusing. Many people think coaching is telling others what to do in a kind, but direct, way. Coaching, as we align with at Bridges, is quite different.
(If you aren't sure how to define coaching please click here and maybe even here before reading on...)
Coaches help people learn to discern what God is prompting them to think and do. It's much easier to weigh in and tell people what you think they should do. Maybe you have been through a similar situation and you feel you should just spare them the difficulty and give them your solution.
But what if...
What if God has a different plan for their journey?
Of course, there...
Rethinking and Prethinking - The Crucial 4 Steps
Ever wish you could have a do-over? Maybe it was something you said or did, or maybe something you didn't say or didn't do. Whatever it was, you wish it didn't happen the way it did?
We're all human so it happens sometimes...
Some people choose never to look back. "No regrets," they say, but perhaps this isn't the best approach. If we can't learn from what has happened how can we ever show up the way we really want to be?
I propose the Rethink and Prethink method.
It goes like this.
1- You have a nagging thought that you wish something had gone differently. You choose not to stuff it, but to ask God to help you see what He has for you in it.
2- You choose to explore what happened. You lean into processing what caused you to say or do whatever you have concerns about. You explore your emotions and how you were triggered. You'll probably need to work through some hurt and likely forgiveness will be involved - receiving and giving. (for more on this step check out 4...
6 Ways Coaching Makes Disciples (not dependents) Are you making disciples?
Jesus was rarely a "teller", and when He was it was mainly to the religious leaders when He was telling them off in no uncertain terms.
Think about it when you are reading the gospels. Jesus often responded to questions with questions, or sometimes with stories. We also have the beatitudes and many word pictures about what the kingdom is like. Most often, He encouraged people to decide what they needed to do next.
When we tell people what we think they should do we risk getting in the way of their personal connection with God. Of course, there are moral boundaries and we would never encourage someone to "decide" if those were right, but here are a few examples of where coaching questions could help someone make healthy choices:
- who to date
- whether or not to go to college and where
- how to decide if you should stay with a certain job/role
- choosing where to volunteer
- how to move toward a specific goal, and even if you should
Just to name a few.
Coaching makes disciples by helping...
The Shadow Side of "Niche" Coaching
Some people say it rhymes with "stitch", others tip toward the French and say it with a long "e" and a "sh" at the end. I think there are even some combo folks out there who would say it rhymes with "squish" or "screech".
However you say it, having a niche may, or may not be an asset in coaching.
Good coaching, as defined by the International Coaching Federation (ICF), or Christian Coaches Network International (CCNI), does not include the coach sharing their expertise in a niche field as the means forward. Instead, good coaching draws out from the coachees the best way forward.
Having experience, or education, in a particular field is not always beneficial to good coaching.
If the coach has a certain bent toward how they think the plan should roll out, they tend to ask leading questions to prompt the client toward their own preferred outcome.
Sir John Whitmore in his foundational coaching book "Coaching for Performance" shares about an experiment he conducted where he...