Maybe We Are Asking The Wrong Question(s)
When "stuff" happens, the go-to question for most of us is typical. "Why?"
Why did "that" happen?
Why did someone pass early? Why did that tragedy happen? Why did I lose my job? Why can't I meet someone? Why am I misunderstood?
WHY IS THIS HAPPENING!?
Job was never given a clear understanding of why he was dealt such a bad hand. Can you imagine? All your children die in one fell swoop? Your businesses fail, your stock investments tank, you are in utter familial and financial devastation, and then... then you trun up with horrid boils all over your body?
Just yuck.
Job spent some time asking some questions, and then God showed up and started asking some questions of His own. Turns out God doesn't report to us. He's not American and has His own definition of fair.
He is God, we are not. And yet He allows, even invites, us to interact with Him. To pour out our hearts. The psalms are full of this kind of dialogue.
God wants to hear from us, but He does not "report" to us. We c...
Coaching Questions to take Everyday Conversations to a Next Level
You know those regular greetings we have where you say something like, "Hey, how ya' doing?" Maybe you really want to know, but more likely you just want to say more than a simple "Hi".
Or how about the classic, "How was your day?" that you ask a spouse, or child, a friend, or family member. It's usually met with another classic, "Fine, and yours?"
Let's take some coaching concepts and build a list of questions that could take our conversations deeper, helping us to know each other more and strengthen our conversations and our relationships.
Think of a few relationships you would like to go a little deeper. Which of the following questions could work for you in different scenarios?
- Tell me about your day - what was funny or sad or weird?
- What was hard for you today?
- What was the best thing that happened today, or on vacation, or over the weekend, or ?.
- Who is someone that inspires you?
- Where did you see God at work today?
- What is something you are praying for?
- What is a ...
5 Potentially Life-changing Table Questions for Thanksgiving!
Thanksgiving is right around the corner! More people will be sitting around the table eating a meal together than almost any other time of the year.
Here are 5 questions you can incorporate to make that table time especially connecting this year! You can start by Introducing the idea of having intentional conversation this year. Share a question and answer it, then randomly pick who goes next till everyone has been able to share.
Encouraging quality conversation will make this year's connections memorable, maybe even life-changing.
- What one person around this table are you proud of this year and why?
- Which blessing has the most meaning for you at this time in your life: Joy, Peace, Hope, or something else - and what makes that stand out?
- How have you seen a prayer answered in a surprising way this year? (Maybe a story of a dark time God led you through and used for good.)
- When you think of this last year what event marks the year for you?
- Where would you like to see yourself i ...
10 Coaching Questions for Enneagram 7's
Why so serious?
According to the Enneagram Institute, Sevens are extroverted, optimistic, versatile, and spontaneous. Playful, high-spirited, and practical, they can also misapply their many talents, becoming over-extended, scattered, and undisciplined. They constantly seek new and exciting experiences, but can become distracted and exhausted by staying on the go. They typically have problems with impatience and impulsiveness. At their Best: they focus their talents on worthwhile goals, becoming appreciative, joyous, and satisfied.
We have named this personality type The Enthusiast because Sevens are enthusiastic about almost everything that catches their attention. They approach life with curiosity, optimism, and a sense of adventure, like “kids in a candy store” who look at the world in wide-eyed, rapt anticipation of all the good things they are about to experience. They are bold and vivacious, pursuing what they want in life with a cheerful determination. They have a quality bes...
Who Is The Story About? (Hint: Jesus flipped this all around!!)
We all do it. We make the story about us. It's human nature for us to think of our part and forward how awesome it is.
In marketing, it is common for the product or service to be the main character in the sale. We hear things like, "Our _________ will be the answer", or "We have the best __________". (I've done this before comparing our coach training to others...)
StoryBrand teaches that the person being coached needs to be the main character. When a brand offers to help you be a better you, to serve you in some kind of way, you are much more likely to buy in rather than when they tell you how amazing they are. If something, or someone, truly wants to serve us, it is so different!
Sound familiar? Kingdom culture is like this!
Jesus said He came into this world "not to be served, but to serve". Honestly, this makes me kind of sad. He deserved/s to be served!!
Good coaching is about serving! It's not about coming in to save the day with the coach being the "hero". It's about provi...
The Many Faces Of Failure...
What first comes to your mind when you think of failure?
Here are some initial ideas: unkind words, poor behavior, missed deadlines, and loss of trust.
Perhaps some lesser-recognized failures could be: unreceived forgiveness, unrealized potential, procrastination, and stagnation.
My heart is heavy just thinking of categories. There is so much pain and loss in this world.
But take heart friends, there is NOTHING God cannot redeem. He truly wants to meet us right where we are and walk with us toward our best next step.
We are in good company. Let's take a look at a few Biblical characters who walked through some difficult situations, failures even, and moved on to redeemed situations.
Moses took matters into his own hands and tried to become who God wanted him to be his own way. He was too early and he was out of line. He even murdered a man. And yet, he allowed God to process his heart and he was still asked to be the deliverer God had planned for him to be - in God's timing and...
What Does Success Look Like To You?
If you take Coach Training with Bridges you will learn about Active Listening and Asking Powerful Questions. We'll talk through defining someone's focus and teach you how to assist with making SMART goals- quality action steps, but we hope that the BIGGEST TAKEAWAY for all our trainees is our definition of success. Put simply:
Success is an active relationship with God.
Completing an accomplishment is great. Good Coaching certainly helps people with forward movement, but as believers achieving goals cannot be our primary motivation. Our worth is not in whether or not we get "there" or get "that" done in our lifetime, our worth comes from our adoption into the family of God. It comes from our connection with a settled place with our Father in eternity.
At Bridges Coaching when an action step does not result in the desired outcome we say, "'Failure' is good research." But true "failure" is not having a soul connection with God. His Spirit is in us longing for connection.
When we pr...
Next Up: Action Steps!
Time for a quick review. We've been working through the StoryBrand framework and comparing it to a conversation.
First, we talked about how our lives ARE a story in the making.
Then about who the story is about, and the importance of naming the problem.
Next, they meet a guide who understands their fears and offers a plan!
Today, we'll move on to how to make quality Action Steps.
Once we have decided where we want to get to and we resolve that God always offers a plan, our next step is to walk out what we have discerned. And, I wish it was that easy...
In my experience, discerning well takes years of experience. I have missed the mark in several ways. I have jumped the gun on action steps as well as waited too long. There were times I thought I knew what to do, only to find out it didn't work. I have made emotional decisions that didn't engage with the reality of time or resources available, or I have made logical decisions that didn't consider...
4 Tips for Coaching Introverts and 4 for Extroverts too
The chatty and thinkers - both benefit from good coaching.
In this series, we are going through the differentiators in Myers-Briggs and talking through each type of indicator. Whether you coach in actual sessions or use coaching culture in your regular conversations, these tips can help! Our focus in this blog is Introversion and Extroversion.
Let's begin with definitions, basically, introverts think inside their head. They prefer to process quietly on their own and have likely thought through what they are about to say when they speak. Extroverts, on the other hand, think best while speaking.
Neither is a better way. Both have different assets. All benefit from coaching and here's how.
Introverts being coached should find a safe space to process. When introverts have to choose words to explain what they are thinking and feeling it helps them to identify more clearly what is happening. Being an introvert myself I have experienced this many times. I ask someone for space to proces...
Who Offers Them A Plan... GOOD NEWS! (and hard news...)
Wouldn't you just love it if you could see someone who would just tell you what to do when you were in a jam? If they were sage and savvy and could come through every time it would be well worth the investment.
GOOD NEWS! (and hard news...)
Here's the skinny. We DO have Someone we can go to for the plan! Our plan! Our personal best next steps!
The Holy Spirit IS our Guide! The coaching conversation helps us discern the plan God has for us. Proverbs 4:11 says, "I am guiding you in the way of wisdom, and I am leading you on the right path."
Experience tells us it is not that easy though. So the good news is we DO have a Divine Guide, the hard news is we have to grow in learning how to discern. I don't know about you, but I swing that pendulum back and forth. Sometimes I am so sure that what I am sensing is the plan turns out not to work out. Does that mean I missed it? Or was it just a test? Other times I am paralyzed with concern or fear, or the cost seems too high and the decision ...