Most of us have high hopes for the New Year. Every year. We start thinking about it sometime before Thanksgiving, or any time we have a twinge of guilt or hope about a change we want. And we envision what our lives would be like if that change were made.
What would it really look like to have a closer relationship with God?
Reading through the Bible in a year?
Half hour of morning devotions, six days a week?
Praying for a specific person or situation till there is a breakthrough?
I spent many years wanting to do the right thing. I was truly intending to set appropriate goals and keep them, but usually I found myself falling short of my dreams and pinning my hopes on the next year.
Then I found 2 simple practices and 1 overarching truth that changed everything, including me.
When you read the Bible – look for something, or more than one thing. I found that when I read If I am looking for specific things it changes my reading. When...
Maintaining the gain can be tricky. We have probably all done it – worked hard to get somewhere and then slipped back to our old ways.
Maybe you started that new habit of daily devotions, only to break your streak with a lapse over vacation and then find yourself demotivated to jump back in.
Perhaps you lost weight but then it found you. Some how you worked out less, or had a few too many rewards and found that number on the scale more represented the old you than the new one.
Or possibly you started that project and truly made some traction, but then some busy season stole your time and attention and now it’s overwhelming to think of restarting.
Here’s two failsafe tips that can make all the difference.
1) Make a plan for self-evaluation and/or gathering feedback.
Self-evaluation is something you do on your own but it only works if you do it and for most that means if it isn’t on a schedule it’s only some sort of vague sensing of where you are at...
Defining your dream is a great start. And removing obstacles is a game changer.
But just like putting a destination in your GPS, and getting in your car is not enough, you can’t really get anywhere till you start driving.
Once you have decided where you are going, and you have done the hard work of defining and owning your obstacles, it’s time to start moving toward your goal.
Forward movement requires a few items.
Sounds simple but it can truly be difficult at times. It’s easy to lose heart if you thought the pathway you were on would surely get you there and some obstacle gets in your way. That’s why #3 is so important.
Heb. 11:39 talks about those who died without receiving the promises they had hoped for and yet these folks are listed as a part of the great cloud of witnesses.
What if the win is about the journey and not so much about how many destinations...
There’s an unusual pathway near our home where you can see a quarry lake (that’s when a former quarry fills up with water) on one side of road about a 100 feet down. On the other side of the road is a steep drop about 300 feet to a river that is disconnected to the lake.
One day as we were walking down the path something unusual happened with the sun or something and the river appeared to be only 10 feet away. It must have been some odd kind of reflection. Both my husband and I noticed it and I said, “That’s weird, it must be some kind of obstacle illusion.”
Freudian slip perhaps. But I believe God had something in that phrase for us. Sometimes we think things are something they really aren’t.
What if the obstacle that has been holding you back is just an optical illusion?
What if there is a path around the hurdle you feel you can’t get over?
What if you could move forward in victory instead of living your life looking backward...
All good stories have one thing in common. All of them.
Think about it. Got any ideas?
Here’s a hint. Have you ever stopped watching a series? The number one reason people stop watching a series, or skip ahead in a book, is because they are bored.
Here it is: one thing all good stories have in common is a plot!
The plot gives us a reason to keep watching. We are wondering what’s going to happen?
If you are bored with your life, it’s likely your plot line is lagging. Have you given up hope? Are you not sure what’s next?
Having a destination clarifies the journey!
If you are still living there is a reason. God has something for you to...
What if taking your care to the next level required less of you but was more effective?!
Is that even possible!
Caring for the young requires a lot from the caregiver.
It can be downright exhausting, but now that my kids are grown I am so proud of them. They feed themselves, tie their own shoes, read on their own etc. In fact my kids have mastered adulting and are having their own families and making an impact on the world! I’m so proud of them.
When they were young it wasn’t always easy, but as we taught them how to do things they grew and became more and more healthfully independent.
Our church family is like this, too.
When people are young in faith they need to have things done for them, be taught about expectations and they need practice to get things right.
As leaders it can be easy to get stuck thinking the people we are caring for are...
Indulge me a little musing in this blog?
I was chatting with a couple coach trainees recently and we got to talking about how much easier it is to just tell people what to do… But true coaches DON’T tell people what to do.
True coaches use active listening and powerful questions to help people engage with God toward the desires God has put in their hearts and the the way God is leading them!
True coaching requires patience, trust and belief. These things take time and don’t come easy. Let me explain.
Coaching walks with a person while they are learning to hear God’s voice for themselves. It would be much easier for me to just tell them what to do!
BUT woah! What if I am wrong…. that is a scary thought and dangerous. However, if I am right it can be equally not good, if I am right I am teaching them that they need to go to someone else to hear from God… How sad. God wants to talk to them personally, and I want to get in the middle for...
Talking with a couple coach trainees yesterday got me to thinking about how eating organic food is like coaching.
Here’s some of my thoughts. Organic food by definition is pure. It has no additives or artificial interference. It is slow, you can’t rush it or grow it in a hurry and it has a different constitution than say, fast food.
So, here’s the three ways that Coaching is like eating organic food.
I crave a soda and fries… but as I learn to listen to my body better I am finding that those cravings were a mask to what I really wanted and needed.
In my spiritual life I crave someone just telling me what to do. I don’t really want to dig behind the mask to find out what is really needed in my life.
I want a quick fix. If I could get a godly answer in a drive thru situation I would wait in line for it. But the waiting God has for me is of a...
Defining “Coachable” is vital!
In Part 1 of this series we saw that without choosing a focus the coaching conversation (and our lives) are just rambling around with no destination.
Once we know where we are going we need to have a way to get there.
It seems elementary, but just like no one sets out intentionally to not focus, few people choose a focus and then choose not to make a plan.
We all do it though.
We want something that we aren’t really doing anything about.
Which of these are on your list?
The list could go on and on, but it doesn’t need to.
Once we have narrowed down our possibles to one specific next goal, we can take Step 2 and begin the journey. (See the Part 1 post if you need help here.)
There are a lot of O words and Opportunities involved here....
Coaching isn’t for the weak. Moving forward isn’t usually easy. It takes clarity, confidence and courage to advance, for both the coach and the coachee.
Let’s break it down. If Coaching = moving from here to there, then a vital element in the coaching conversation starts with the “there”.
If someone isn’t sure where they are heading, they are just roaming.
Roaming means wandering around, or not having a destination. There are two common detriments that distract people from having a focus.
1. Lack of vision. This type of roaming focuses more on circumstances than the change needed to experience release. It comes out as complaining and can disguise itself in the need for empathy and validation while being absent of hope and forward movement. [The 10 spies had this problem! What they saw was real, they just didn’t have the right focus. Or the guy with one talent who did nothing with it…]
Honestly this can happen for me when I am looking...
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