Maybe You're Just Hangry?

Hangry: adj. (han-gree) a state of emotional angst caused by lack of sufficient nourishment, an increasingly negative outlook as a result of increased hunger.

 Have you ever been hangry? I have.

 Usually, I don’t realize the cause though the symptoms are pretty obvious (to others):

  • Skewed outlook on life
  • Short fuse
  • Negativity
  • Hopeless passivity
  • General and growing sense of angst

It’s a family member that usually helps me out. They start out with kind words. “Hey, you okay?” or questions, “Wow, rough day?” and they move toward mirroring, “You don’t seem yourself. What’s up?”

If I get defensive they help me see that my words or actions are not reflecting who they know me to be. If they are really on their game they just offer me something, like my favorite: a well crafted Starbucks Chai Latte (grande, 9 pumps, nonfat, no foam – just in case you were wondering).

What I don’t like is that my hunger has...

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How To Avoid The "Instawall!"

You already know what the Instawall is! You’ve likely been on one side or the other multiple times, but now you have a word for it.

It happens when someone says something that builds an instant wall between two people where no matter what was said it cannot be considered a valid choice. A line of respect has been breached and the listener feels small, invalidated or infantized.

Most often the Instawall happens after openers like these:

“You know what I would do if I were you….”

“Okay, so here’s what you need to do…”

“Did you want to (insert what the speakers want them to do) ….?” (this is the soft sell version)

“Listen to me now! …”

Each of these lines assumes the speaker knows best what should happen next for another person.

The kicker is that the speaker may be right! But if the statement is made in a way that makes the other person feel like they are being bossed, or belittled or just flat...

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