Saboteurs Whisper To Us All... Can you identify their voices?

Saboteurs whisper to us all, they sound like friends, they seem wise, but they infiltrate our minds like a poison that tastes sweet.

Discipleship saboteurs say things like,

  • if you don't tell them what to do, they will mess things up, it's just the responsible thing to do
  • it will take too long for them to move forward with coaching, they would be better off if you just tell them what to do
  • it's wrong for you to withhold your story if you went through whatever they are going through, they should learn from your mistakes and do it just like you

The best poison is only a small percent deadly, but if you take it in you will eventually die...

Using coaching as the Biblical way of discipleship helps people build their own relationship with God. 

Coaching builds disciples not dependents.

Coach training can teach you how!

Saboteurs whisper their hopelessness on the other side of coaching as well. Coaches have helped me discern many of the following as limiting...

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The Skinny On Bridges Coaching! (and a quick dependence quiz)

Bridges Coaching exists to make disciples, not dependents.

We do this through:

It's easy to go through life unintentionally not engaging in what God has for you personally.

It takes clarity and intentionality to move with purpose engaging in God's unique best next step for you! 

Most people don't mean to be dependent but here's how you could tell if you are tending that way. Give yourself 1 point for a positive response to any of these 10 markers.

___ I would prefer if someone would just tell me what to do.

___ If only things would come together for me as they do for everyone else.

___ I can't be expected to adult, I just never got the tools.

___ If the right leader would just mentor me, then I could really become...

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Conundrums, Code-breaking, and Coaching!

coaching discipleship May 25, 2021

We all have them...  Conundrums are "a confusing and difficult problem or question."

That's the core of coaching really - helping people through the stuff of life.

Every good movie has a plotline with a believable crisis.  Yet, in real life, we don't seem to welcome conundrums. 

James 1:2-5 says, "My brothers and sisters, when you have many kinds of troubles, you should be full of joy, because you know that these troubles test your faith, and this will give you patience. Let your patience show itself perfectly in what you do. Then you will be perfect and complete and will have everything you need. But if any of you needs wisdom, you should ask God for it. He is generous to everyone and will give you wisdom without criticizing you."

Just like the enigma had a different code every time - God wants to work with each of us individually. He has a key code He wants to offer for each situation. 

Good coaching = A conundrum + Codebreaking

Good...

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What Is Coach Training? Here's How to Make Engaged Disciples

When I got my master’s degree I did these coaching “labs” on the side. Turns out they were optional, but I’m so glad I didn’t know that!

Let me explain.

The coaching “labs” were actually coach training and the education I received through them changed my life!

Coaching does not come naturally to most so when I was going through my coach training I really wanted a few things, so I really got seeped in the paradigm.

  • I wanted to be coached, and experience what that felt like. I wanted to see if it really worked.
  • I wanted to see others being coached so I could observe it being done well.
  • I wanted someone to watch me coach and tell me if I was doing it right or wrong if need be. (To be honest, I was a little nervous about that, but I also wanted the affirmation enough to do it.)
  • I wanted to have plenty of time to talk through the concepts with a certified coach and know I was heading in the right direction.

The training I took left me...

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Maybe You're Just Hangry?

Hangry: adj. (han-gree) a state of emotional angst caused by lack of sufficient nourishment, an increasingly negative outlook as a result of increased hunger.

 Have you ever been hangry? I have.

 Usually, I don’t realize the cause though the symptoms are pretty obvious (to others):

  • Skewed outlook on life
  • Short fuse
  • Negativity
  • Hopeless passivity
  • General and growing sense of angst

It’s a family member that usually helps me out. They start out with kind words. “Hey, you okay?” or questions, “Wow, rough day?” and they move toward mirroring, “You don’t seem yourself. What’s up?”

If I get defensive they help me see that my words or actions are not reflecting who they know me to be. If they are really on their game they just offer me something, like my favorite: a well crafted Starbucks Chai Latte (grande, 9 pumps, nonfat, no foam – just in case you were wondering).

What I don’t like is that my hunger has...

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How To Avoid The "Instawall!"

You already know what the Instawall is! You’ve likely been on one side or the other multiple times, but now you have a word for it.

It happens when someone says something that builds an instant wall between two people where no matter what was said it cannot be considered a valid choice. A line of respect has been breached and the listener feels small, invalidated or infantized.

Most often the Instawall happens after openers like these:

“You know what I would do if I were you….”

“Okay, so here’s what you need to do…”

“Did you want to (insert what the speakers want them to do) ….?” (this is the soft sell version)

“Listen to me now! …”

Each of these lines assumes the speaker knows best what should happen next for another person.

The kicker is that the speaker may be right! But if the statement is made in a way that makes the other person feel like they are being bossed, or belittled or just flat...

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