We all have them... Conundrums are "a confusing and difficult problem or question."
That's the core of coaching really - helping people through the stuff of life.
Every good movie has a plotline with a believable crisis. Yet, in real life, we don't seem to welcome conundrums.
James 1:2-5 says, "My brothers and sisters, when you have many kinds of troubles, you should be full of joy, because you know that these troubles test your faith, and this will give you patience. Let your patience show itself perfectly in what you do. Then you will be perfect and complete and will have everything you need. But if any of you needs wisdom, you should ask God for it. He is generous to everyone and will give you wisdom without criticizing you."
Just like the enigma had a different code every time - God wants to work with each of us individually. He has a key code He wants to offer for each situation.
When I got my master’s degree I did these coaching “labs” on the side. Turns out they were optional, but I’m so glad I didn’t know that!
Let me explain.
The coaching “labs” were actually coach training and the education I received through them changed my life!
Coaching does not come naturally to most so when I was going through my coach training I really wanted a few things, so I really got seeped in the paradigm.
The training I took left me...
Hangry: adj. (han-gree) a state of emotional angst caused by lack of sufficient nourishment, an increasingly negative outlook as a result of increased hunger.
Have you ever been hangry? I have.
Usually, I don’t realize the cause though the symptoms are pretty obvious (to others):
It’s a family member that usually helps me out. They start out with kind words. “Hey, you okay?” or questions, “Wow, rough day?” and they move toward mirroring, “You don’t seem yourself. What’s up?”
If I get defensive they help me see that my words or actions are not reflecting who they know me to be. If they are really on their game they just offer me something, like my favorite: a well crafted Starbucks Chai Latte (grande, 9 pumps, nonfat, no foam – just in case you were wondering).
What I don’t like is that my hunger has...
You already know what the Instawall is! You’ve likely been on one side or the other multiple times, but now you have a word for it.
It happens when someone says something that builds an instant wall between two people where no matter what was said it cannot be considered a valid choice. A line of respect has been breached and the listener feels small, invalidated or infantized.
Most often the Instawall happens after openers like these:
“You know what I would do if I were you….”
“Okay, so here’s what you need to do…”
“Did you want to (insert what the speakers want them to do) ….?” (this is the soft sell version)
“Listen to me now! …”
Each of these lines assumes the speaker knows best what should happen next for another person.
The kicker is that the speaker may be right! But if the statement is made in a way that makes the other person feel like they are being bossed, or belittled or just flat...
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