Before We Move On...
Last time we talked about R for Recognition on the Bridges Coaching ROAD and how the Discernment plays a crucial role there. (If you missed it, here's the link.)
I feel compelled to go a little deeper before we move on.
Taking plenty of time to establish the "Why" of the chosen destination (read goal) of the ROAD you are going down should not be downplayed.
Consider your potential goal and ask some of these questions:
- What will it cost me to follow through and complete this?
- What will completing it give me?
- If I don't do it, what will that cost?
- Who else will "pay" for this choice? Is it worth it for them?
- Is now the right time?
- What makes this important to me?
- How could this affect other areas of my life?
- Is there anyone I should talk this through with?
Some of these questions were included in the "P's to knowing God's will worksheet" in the first blog, but for those who may not have downloaded it I felt they should be included.
Perhaps it would be helpful to list s...
6 Key Components In Quality Coach Training
What actually happens in Bridges Coach Training? Here we go!
You'll meet online 3 times for a group class with all who are in your cohort at the beginning, middle, and end of your training. In between those gatherings, you will meet with your peer partner and your facilitator, also likely online - which makes distance not a problem and eliminates travel time. Our low ratios of trainer to trainee are unparalleled.
1) We start with a clear definition of coaching.
There are many definitions, and different concepts, about what "coaching" really is. A fair amount of our trainees came to us because they felt they were good at guiding people to what they should do. Sports Coaches do that. Leadership Consultants often interchange the word "coach" with what they do.
At Bridges Coaching, we align with the International Coaching Federation (ICF) and Christian Coaches Network International (CCNI), whose definitions do not include any form of telling others what to do, but rather providing a...
Working Genius & Coaching [Tenacity]
We're on the home stretch now! The final letter in Working Genius is T for Tenacity!
Working Genius says this about it. "The natural gift of pushing projects or tasks to completion to achieve results."
This is one of my geniuses and I have a love/hate relationship with the concept. I mean I don't go out of my way to notice things not getting completed, I just can't help but see them and have a strong desire to see things through.
Most often this is a gift and a value add, but sometimes it isn't perceived that way or received well, or it is just too much.
Once I was called a "pusher" by a well-meaning colleague, and it stung a little. I mean I wouldn't have to push if things were being completed right? ... just saying...
Working Genius has helped me so much! Having Tenacity as a genius can be used for good as a means of follow through making sure things don't get dropped, but it can also be a handful. It's truly hard for me to just let things go without express direction.
That'...
What (exactly) Is Coaching?
Coaching has become somewhat of a buzzword in ministry circles and in the business world. It's trendy to say you are "coaching" someone, or getting "coached".
But what does "coaching" really mean?
First off let's be clear that no one owns any word and we all know words can mean more than one thing. In fact, we have all seen words grow to mean different things in our lifetimes. Over the last few years, our society has morphed the meaning of some of the following words:
Masked, Essential, Agenda, Woke, Lockdown, Triggered...
Please stop for a moment and take a deep breath before we go on.
No need to get wound up, I'm just trying to make a point that when someone thinks of "woke" they no longer simply think of when their alarm clock went off, or in many circles, the word "agenda" does not simply apply only to what you will be talking about in an upcoming meeting.
It's similar, but not the same with the word "coaching".
Coaching always includes some sort of forward movement. Thi...
Follow Your Heart! But On The Other Hand...? [PENDULUM POST]
I'm learning to discern more. You'd think I'd be better at it by now, but it turns out I'm still learning. For me, following my heart means having the "courage" to call things out when I see them. I have the compulsion to set things right. I feel culpable to say what I see, especially as a leader. I almost always feel I am missing the mark if I don't say something when I hear or see something out of line.
(Feels kind of judgy when I say it like that... maybe because it sometimes is judgy and that's where the Pendulum Process needs to come in!)
Is it always right to say something?
Is it never right to step in?
Sometimes it is "courage" that is needed and I do indeed need to speak up. After all, Proverbs 9:8b says,
"... But correct the wise, and they will love you."
Yet, at other times we are encouraged to be wise by not speaking up. Proverbs 10:19b says,
"...if you are wise, you will keep quiet."
So what's a gal to do? Let's take a look at the Pendulum process.
The Pe...
3 Ways To Keep That One Holiday Conversation From Getting Highjacked!
Not looking forward to certain conversations over the holidays? Let's talk about that friend or family member who is stuck. They have been thinking about doing something new or moving toward a goal, but they've been hovering around the idea or stuck in the hurt or habit for months, or maybe even years...
What if that holiday conversation could be something you looked forward to?
What if you could reframe that tricky topic as an opportunity to connect with God by sharing His deep love for that person?
What if you could slow down and feel Him close, for yourself, during this season?
The possibilities for engaging with the Light during this season are more available than you may realize. If you seek Him, He can be found! Here are 3 simple tips that could make all the difference!
1- Release control!
What?! I hear it. You don't think you want to control others, that sounds so.... controlling. What you really want is for them to "get unstuck", find traction and be able to move from wh...
4 Steps To Shift An Aspirational Goal To An Actual Pathway!
I desire to retire well, to be self-supporting and not a burden on my children.
I also want to write a book about pendulums that will help people discern how God is guiding them.
I'm hoping to lose 4 inches in my middle (just keeping it real).
And I dream of being close with my children and grandchildren as we all grow older.
These are all genuine goals for me. I really desire them all. But they will most likely remain dreams if don't add a pathway of intentional action steps toward the goals.
Sometimes churches have aspirational goals too.
We will break the 200-person attendance ceiling, or we will get to 1000 or whatever number...
More than 50% of our people will be in small groups.
Giving will increase by 20% in the next year.
Here's the thing. Clarifying a goal is good, but it is only a first step. Drilling down on a desire gives you something to shoot for, but it's like setting up a target and then not shooting any arrows. No matter how descriptive with g...
What Was God Thinking? Benevolent Detachment #2 of 5
Ever just want to shake someone? I have.
Okay, maybe not physically, but I have wanted so badly to help someone SEE something. It's mind-boggling to me how tolerant people can be of difficult circumstances they could actually do something about!
If I'm honest I've wanted to shake myself at times as well!
You'd think the low experience would be enough for a wake-up call, but no. We keep doing the same thing over and over, and not adopting the new thing we know would be better for us.
What was God thinking when He gave us free will?
Apparently, this is not a new phenomenon. Paul says in Romans 7:15
I do not understand the things I do. I do not do what I want to do, and I do the things I hate.
But then later in Romans 12:2, he says,
Do not be shaped by this world; instead be changed within by a new way of thinking. Then you will be able to decide what God wants for you; you will know what is good and pleasing to him and what is perfect.
So, what does this have to do...
What is Benevolent Detachment? Benevolent Detachment - #1 of 5
I am LOVING John Eldridge’s Pause App prompts and the new 30 Days to Resilient plan! (I just completed my first round and am excited to repeat the whole thing!)
That’s where I first heard about Benevolent Detachment.
If you aren’t sure what that is a quick definition includes, in Eldridge’s words, “releasing everyone and everything to Him.” It’s the art of letting God be God and letting go of our compulsion to change people or situations. It involves a combination of a rooted perspective of who God is in our lives, mixed with a healthy understanding of free will, prayer, and trust in God to be there for us and for others.
When we fix our attention on what’s wrong in our lives, other’s lives, or our world - our attention is not where it needs to be. On Jesus.
Benevolent Detachment is a reminder to hit the refresh button in our souls. To close our eyes to the world around us and the chatter within us and commune with Him there. To allow the River of God to well up within us and wa...
3 Ways to Deal with Reluctant/Resistant People
"It doesn't work like that...."
"I can't."
"Maybe you just don't understand."
Ever have "that" conversation? You know, the one where the other person has pre-decided there is no way out of the situation they are in, where the circumstances they are dealing with are unique and insurmountable.
I've been there dozens of times. (And TBH I've been that person dozens of times as well.)
They get fixated on their "thing" and that's all they can talk about. Every conversation is about the symptoms of the "thing", how it is overwhelming and how they are stuck and there is no way out. It's disheartening for them AND for everyone around them.
It's like they want "it" to go away, but they feel there is nothing that can be done.
There are 3 ways to deal with someone who is reluctant to see hope and resistant to change. (Two of them are common but ineffective.)
1. Avoidance.
This option may happen intentionally or unintentionally. You see them coming down the hall at church, or you see their...