Step 2: Now What?
So, you have a goal, a place you want to build a bridge to, but now what?
(If you missed that blog - start there.)
Most times when we finally decide to do something we jump straight into building action steps. And while I love me some action steps, there's an important foundational step we need to do before we go there.
It has to do with assessing your starting place.
Taking time to discern any possible obstacles will set you up for success better than simply jumping right into action steps. You need to ask yourself if there has been anything that has held you back in the past from moving forward in whatever area you are focusing on.
If there are lies that need to be replaced you can start there.
If you have a history of not following through, it is worth looking in to so you can set yourself up for complete follow-through this time.
If you deal with blame or excuse, it will be important to address those pitfalls before you start anything.
Some people call this "ownership" an...
Step 4: Perhaps The Most Neglected But Most Valuable
So let's say you did it!
You achieved your goal!
You lost the weight or developed the new habit. You removed the lie and embraced the truth. You navigated a difficult conversation or built a bridge to a better relationship.
Whatever you did it took work!
Whatever you did it was worth the effort!
But now what? If your goal was not a project you were completing, you are susceptible to falling right back into your old ways. After all, you have spent more of your life doing whatever you did before than you have doing it the new way.
Just because you did it once, or even a few times, does not make it your new normal - yet.
(And even if the goal you achieved was completing a project of sorts, some of the following principles will still apply.)
What will it take to maintain your gain?l
At Bridges Coaching, we like to use two methods - Intentional Evaluation and Feedback. You can decide which would best suit your situation.
Intentional Evaluation is something you can do on your own...
Step 3: OK, Let's Get Some Traction!
Let's review our journey on the Bridges Coaching ROAD so far.
R - take some time to RECOGNIZE where you want to go. Where are you building a bridge to? Please don't just pick something that bugs you, or even what jazzes you. Take time to discern where God is leading you to next! More on that here.
O - consider your personality and your track record. If what you were shooting for was easy, you would probably already be there or at least on your way. A new goal, a new journey, is going to take some OWNERSHIP on your part. Ask yourself what obstacles need to be addressed for you to move forward.
This brings us to our next letter in the Coaching ROAD.
A - is for ACTION STEPS.
Most people probably find the most traction here. This answers the "Now what?" question. Learning to make SMART goals is something our coach trainees say is a highlight of their studies. Defining where you want to build toward and what has held you back are important first steps, but we still haven't actually st...
Step 1: Where Should I Be Building A Bridge?
We got lost...
Recently my husband, Eric, and I were trying to find a particular bike trail. We had located it on the map, but when we got to the spot we were under the trail and couldn't get on it from there. (see the right side of the photo)
I was astounded at the enormity of the structure of the tresses. ! I had no idea how much it took to build that particular bridge even though I had ridden over it before.
Some bridges are like that, but I"m getting ahead of myself. (More on this later.)
Before this bridge was built. Way back in the beginning. Someone had a dream.
They said those oh-so-valuable words...
"What if?"
No bridge is ever built without this step!
No hurt is ever healed. No project is ever completed. No lies are ever removed. No decisions are ever made.
No progress is even possible without choosing a goal!
Where would you like to go?
- Is there a relationship you would like to build?
- How about a recurring lie that you would like to stop affecting your life? ...
The Shadow Side of "Niche" Coaching
Some people say it rhymes with "stitch", others tip toward the French and say it with a long "e" and a "sh" at the end. I think there are even some combo folks out there who would say it rhymes with "squish" or "screech".
However you say it, having a niche may, or may not be an asset in coaching.
Good coaching, as defined by the International Coaching Federation (ICF), or Christian Coaches Network International (CCNI), does not include the coach sharing their expertise in a niche field as the means forward. Instead, good coaching draws out from the coachees the best way forward.
Having experience, or education, in a particular field is not always beneficial to good coaching.
If the coach has a certain bent toward how they think the plan should roll out, they tend to ask leading questions to prompt the client toward their own preferred outcome.
Sir John Whitmore in his foundational coaching book "Coaching for Performance" shares about an experiment he conducted where he studied wh...
What (exactly) Is Coaching?
Coaching has become somewhat of a buzzword in ministry circles and in the business world. It's trendy to say you are "coaching" someone, or getting "coached".
But what does "coaching" really mean?
First off let's be clear that no one owns any word and we all know words can mean more than one thing. In fact, we have all seen words grow to mean different things in our lifetimes. Over the last few years, our society has morphed the meaning of some of the following words:
Masked, Essential, Agenda, Woke, Lockdown, Triggered...
Please stop for a moment and take a deep breath before we go on.
No need to get wound up, I'm just trying to make a point that when someone thinks of "woke" they no longer simply think of when their alarm clock went off, or in many circles, the word "agenda" does not simply apply only to what you will be talking about in an upcoming meeting.
It's similar, but not the same with the word "coaching".
Coaching always includes some sort of forward movement. Thi...
Which Four Letter Word Is Your Go-To?
There are two four-letter words we are going to focus on today.
The first is: lazy. (Probably not the first four-letter word you thought of.)
There are basically two kinds of lazy.
One is intentional - it includes rest, like a Sabbatical or a Sabbath, a nap, or even an extra good night's sleep. It could be taking a walk, listening to some good music (I recently discovered smooth jazz and only wish I would have known about it sooner), having a slow conversation with a good friend, or enjoying a special meal.
The other is unintentional. Unintentional laziness is when you didn't set out to slow down or neglect an area of your life, you just drifted into being stuck by accident. Unintentionally. At my home church, we recently heard a message that identified a type of laziness I had never thought of before. Our pastor talked about how being busy can be a form of laziness. (You can check the message out here if you like.) Usually, when we think of laziness, we think of someone being slu...
Hey Guys! I did a thing!
Hi friends!
Meet Michelle Pavasars. Michelle and I met serendipitously as we sat next to each other at a wedding rehearsal dinner years ago. We got to talking, and to make a long story short, she has taken multiple coach training courses and now works for Bridges as the host of our Next Level Coach Training course.
Michelle is the Executive director of an organization called KINDLE that specifically targets, empowers, and serves second-chair leaders. We are so fortunate she loves coaching and does a little work for us on the side. She says keeping her fingers in the pie helps keep the coaching mindset active in her life and leadership.
I'd love to hear your thoughts on the podcast!
What would you think if we did a Coaching podcast? Is that something you would be interested in?
If I'm honest, I had doubts... do you?
It's been a while since Eric and I did a Coaching workshop live, and to be honest we have had some difficult experiences. Once, while leading a workshop I was invited to teach at, I had leaders questioning me about the method - right during the session - and, you know, I get it. It is a radical shift in thinking for a leader.
They were used to leaders being "in charge" of their people's spiritual growth. They felt it was abdicating responsibility to leave people to own their own choices.
So, knowing we were going to a Latin culture where leadership is traditionally more top-down I had my doubts as to how we would be received (just in case you did not know, Eric and I just got back from a mission trip to Costa Rica where we did a coaching workshop hosted by Alex Dienner.)
But our reception, and their connection, were a welcomed breath of fresh air for all of us!
Hebrews 8 and 10 talks about the New Covenant that Jesus made possible. We now have direct access to the Holy Spirit an...
Heather Shertzer, the Fiverr Guy and you
Storytime:
I had been working on the dating book for years and was on the home stretch when I realized that if I wanted to complete it well, I would need to hire a graphic designer for the cover. When you invest that much time you want to have the end product be something you love. So, I contacted my friend Heather Shertzer and she accepted the challenge.
She made a cover I am proud of and as a bonus, she redid the cover for Eric's recent book as well. She understood just what it would take to upload them for publishing and how to handle all the necessary parameters for both books. (Be watching for a new cover for Traction soon as well!) Without Heather, I would have spent hours trying to figure out what was needed and probably had a design I was just okay with if I did it myself.
She is a professional and she was/is a godsend!
So then I go to publish the book. What a milestone! What an exciting event! I order myself a copy and find a few things I want to change. The font was too...