We've been talking about coaching and the biblical model for growth. 

We started with how God wants to interact with people directly. 

Next we talked about adult learning, "Aha" moments and discipleship.

And finally, today, we will focus on how God made each of us differently. 

We are really big on this at Bridges, we even have an entire course on discovering your Destiny by Design!

1 Corinthians 12 is one place we see God sharing about our individual design.

⁴ There are different kinds of gifts, but they are all from the same Spirit.  ⁵ There are different ways to serve but the same Lord to serve.  ⁶ And there are different ways that God works through people but the same God. God works in all of us in everything we do. 

There are many more places in the Bible that talk about our individuality. Some of us are more evangelistic and some are more inclined to teach or to serve. Later in 1 Corinthians 12 people are compared...

Firsts are important. First impressions set the tone for how relationships are going to role. First interactions set a foundation for protocol.

Let's take a quick look at God's first corrective teaching interaction with man. When Adam and Ever first messed up in the garden and ate the forbidden fruit, God could have given them a lecture about listening. He could have sat them down and taught them about follow-through. 

Instead, God offered them an "Aha" moment. An "Aha" moment is an example of adult learning - where people come to an understanding of something on their own rather than being told by someone else. I believe God asked Adam a question to help him come to a personal realization. God asked, "Where are you?" Adam answered that he was hiding because he was afraid. 

God didn't ask because he didn't know where Adam was or what he had done. He asked for Adam's sake.

Adam could then move forward and deal with where he was at. 

When Job went through all the...

A pastor friend of mine recently told me that a mentor of his mentioned that he wasn't even sure coaching was biblical. I actually understand that question. 

Many people, pastors even, don't really know what coaching is.

And if I'm completely honest, I really wish there was a different word than coaching for that very reason. It gets confusing. Many people think coaching is telling others what to do in a kind, but direct, way. Coaching, as we align with at Bridges, is quite different.

(If you aren't sure how to define coaching please click here and maybe even here before reading on...)

Coaches help people learn to discern what God is prompting them to think and do. It's much easier to weigh in and tell people what you think they should do. Maybe you have been through a similar situation and you feel you should just spare them the difficulty and give them your solution. 

But what if...

What if God has a different plan for their journey? 

Of course, there...

Ever wish you could have a do-over? Maybe it was something you said or did, or maybe something you didn't say or didn't do. Whatever it was, you wish it didn't happen the way it did?

We're all human so it happens sometimes...

Some people choose never to look back. "No regrets," they say, but perhaps this isn't the best approach. If we can't learn from what has happened how can we ever show up the way we really want to be?

I propose the Rethink and Prethink method.

It goes like this. 

1- You have a nagging thought that you wish something had gone differently. You choose not to stuff it, but to ask God to help you see what He has for you in it.

2- You choose to explore what happened. You lean into processing what caused you to say or do whatever you have concerns about. You explore your emotions and how you were triggered. You'll probably need to work through some hurt and likely forgiveness will be involved - receiving and giving. (for more on this step check out 4...

Coach training isn't just for aspiring coaches, (but we have launched plenty into private practice.)

Do you have:

• conversations with friends that you wish would actually help them feel more confident?
• direct reports you wish were growing more?
• children you want to help mature to make healthy Godly decisions?
• aging parents who need respect, but also need to weigh transitional decisions?
• adult children you care about but don't want to interfere?

The Coaching Culture comes alongside your relational connections and gives you tools to be more effectual in helping people discern what God has for them.

What would it be worth to you to be able to help people help themselves?

What if there were overarching principles that could help people engage with owning their own situations and next steps?

Learning the skills of active listening and how to ask empowering questions can take your everyday conversations to a next level. Coaching culture helps you help others help themselves get unstuck...

When coaching a client or a friend, it's important that the person being coached chooses the focus. They decide what goal they want to move forward toward and what their next steps will be.

Not so with business.

Well, not completely anyway.

Gone are the days when the "boss" tells people what to do and how to do it. No one wants to work there, but at times I have seen the pendulum swing completely the other way.

In some circles, there is a lack of clarity on how goals should be set and who should be setting them. Some leaders simply leave the work to the workers and "respect" what they choose to focus on. This is not coaching. Some would even call it distancing, or even neglect.

ENTER Patrick Lencioni and The Advantage. 

The concepts he promotes in this book are over-arching if you are a leader of anything really, maybe even just your own home or your own life. He proposes every leadership team take time to make a list of their core objectives. For a business that could...

People have stuff!

How you handle it makes all the difference!

Do you feel like you need to have answers for people?
Or maybe you actually do have answers but they don't seem to be listening.

Here are 10 reasons coaching works better than telling!

10) You don’t have to know everything for everyone.

Leaders who tell have to know what’s best for every situation and for each person to be effective. That’s a lot of stuff to know! (And what if you aren’t right?)

9) People love it when you focus on them.

Active listening is the highest form of loving someone. When the focus is on the other person there is a lot less pressure on the coach to solve issues. It is way easier to be curious, trust the Holy Spirit, and listen than to have to diagnose and prescribe.

8) Relationship trumps regimen every time.

God designed us to be in relationship with Him and others. When we reduce leadership to telling people what to do, we can easily “cookie...

Are there professional life coaches? Of course!

But the majority of people who take coach training are:

• Businessmen - looking for leadership develpment
• Ministers - wanting to make disciples, not foster dependents
• Parents - of both young children and adult children
• Friends - who people come to with their stuff
• Followers of Jesus - who are hoping to make a kingdom impact

I guess what I am saying is you don't have to want to be a professional coach to consider coach training!

Do you have an ed allowance? This could be the right investment!

Would you like truly help others help themselves? This course will give you the conversational tools to do so!

At every last class I love hearing how the course has affected people. Some of my favorites are the double dippers. I've had more than one businessman take the course to level up their leadership and experienced a change in their relationship with their adult children. We've seen ministers take the course to better serve their congregation...

Jesus was rarely a "teller", and when He was it was mainly to the religious leaders when He was telling them off in no uncertain terms.

Think about it when you are reading the gospels. Jesus often responded to questions with questions, or sometimes with stories. We also have the beatitudes and many word pictures about what the kingdom is like. Most often, He encouraged people to decide what they needed to do next.

When we tell people what we think they should do we risk getting in the way of their personal connection with God. Of course, there are moral boundaries and we would never encourage someone to "decide" if those were right, but here are a few examples of where coaching questions could help someone make healthy choices:

• who to date
• whether or not to go to college and where
• how to decide if you should stay with a certain job/role
• choosing where to volunteer
• how to move toward a specific goal, and even if you should

Just to name a few.

Coaching makes disciples by helping...

We all do it. We shift into "easy mode" and let go of what we decided we were going to do. We drift away from, and never toward, intentionality.

And whether we like it or not it is our choice. Whether we mean to do it or not it is still a choice.

It's hard to choose well and then even harder to keep it up.

You know what I mean right?

You wake up in the morning and think to yourself, "Why did I do that last night? I said I wasn't going to have ice cream while watching TV!"

Or you look in the mirror and say, "Alright, it's back to the gym for you girl!"

Maybe it's a character habit for you, like losing your cool or giving in to worry or depression. Maybe it is a habit you want to start or one you want to stop. It could be a project you want to complete or even just one you want to start.

Whatever is on your mind, or whatever you are avoiding, the choice is yours. You can blame others or excuse yourself. OR you can take responsibility for who you are and how you are living...