Step 1: Where Should I Be Building A Bridge?

We got lost...

Recently my husband, Eric, and I were trying to find a particular bike trail. We had located it on the map, but when we got to the spot we were under the trail and couldn't get on it from there. (see the right side of the photo) 

I was astounded at the enormity of the structure of the tresses. ! I had no idea how much it took to build that particular bridge even though I had ridden over it before.

Some bridges are like that, but I"m getting ahead of myself. (More on this later.)

Before this bridge was built. Way back in the beginning. Someone had a dream. 

They said those oh-so-valuable words...

"What if?"

No bridge is ever built without this step!

No hurt is ever healed. No project is ever completed. No lies are ever removed. No decisions are ever made.

No progress is even possible without choosing a goal! 

Where would you like to go?

  • Is there a relationship you would like to build?
  • How about a recurring lie that you would like to stop affecting your...
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The Shadow Side of "Niche" Coaching

Some people say it rhymes with "stitch", others tip toward the French and say it with a long "e" and a "sh" at the end. I think there are even some combo folks out there who would say it rhymes with "squish" or "screech". 

However you say it, having a niche may, or may not be an asset in coaching.

Good coaching, as defined by the International Coaching Federation (ICF), or Christian Coaches Network International (CCNI), does not include the coach sharing their expertise in a niche field as the means forward. Instead, good coaching draws out from the coachees the best way forward.

Having experience, or education, in a particular field is not always beneficial to good coaching.

If the coach has a certain bent toward how they think the plan should roll out, they tend to ask leading questions to prompt the client toward their own preferred outcome.

Sir John Whitmore in his foundational coaching book "Coaching for Performance" shares about an experiment he conducted where he...

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What (exactly) Is Coaching?

Coaching has become somewhat of a buzzword in ministry circles and in the business world. It's trendy to say you are "coaching" someone, or getting "coached". 

But what does "coaching" really mean?

First off let's be clear that no one owns any word and we all know words can mean more than one thing. In fact, we have all seen words grow to mean different things in our lifetimes. Over the last few years, our society has morphed the meaning of some of the following words:

Masked, Essential, Agenda, Woke, Lockdown, Triggered... 

Please stop for a moment and take a deep breath before we go on. 

No need to get wound up, I'm just trying to make a point that when someone thinks of "woke" they no longer simply think of when their alarm clock went off, or in many circles, the word "agenda" does not simply apply only to what you will be talking about in an upcoming meeting. 

It's similar, but not the same with the word "coaching".

Coaching always includes some sort of...

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Which Four Letter Word Is Your Go-To?

There are two four-letter words we are going to focus on today.

The first is: lazy. (Probably not the first four-letter word you thought of.)

There are basically two kinds of lazy.

One is intentional -  it includes rest, like a Sabbatical or a Sabbath, a nap, or even an extra good night's sleep. It could be taking a walk, listening to some good music (I recently discovered smooth jazz and only wish I would have known about it sooner), having a slow conversation with a good friend, or enjoying a special meal.

The other is unintentional. Unintentional laziness is when you didn't set out to slow down or neglect an area of your life, you just drifted into being stuck by accident. Unintentionally. At my home church, we recently heard a message that identified a type of laziness I had never thought of before. Our pastor talked about how being busy can be a form of laziness. (You can check the message out here if you like.) Usually, when we think of laziness, we think of someone being...

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Hey Guys! I did a thing!

Hi friends!

I did my first podcast

Meet Michelle Pavasars. Michelle and I met serendipitously as we sat next to each other at a wedding rehearsal dinner years ago. We got to talking, and to make a long story short, she has taken multiple coach training courses and now works for Bridges as the host of our Next Level Coach Training course.

Michelle is the Executive director of an organization called KINDLE that specifically targets, empowers, and serves second-chair leaders. We are so fortunate she loves coaching and does a little work for us on the side. She says keeping her fingers in the pie helps keep the coaching mindset active in her life and leadership.

I'd love to hear your thoughts on the podcast!

What would you think if we did a Coaching podcast? Is that something you would be interested in?


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If I'm honest, I had doubts... do you?

It's been a while since Eric and I did a Coaching workshop live, and to be honest we have had some difficult experiences. Once, while leading a workshop I was invited to teach at, I had leaders questioning me about the method - right during the session -  and, you know, I get it. It is a radical shift in thinking for a leader. 

They were used to leaders being "in charge" of their people's spiritual growth. They felt it was abdicating responsibility to leave people to own their own choices. 

So, knowing we were going to a Latin culture where leadership is traditionally more top-down I had my doubts as to how we would be received (just in case you did not know, Eric and I just got back from a mission trip to Costa Rica where we did a coaching workshop hosted by Alex Dienner.)

But our reception, and their connection, were a welcomed breath of fresh air for all of us!

Hebrews 8 and 10 talks about the New Covenant that Jesus made possible. We now have direct access to the...

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Heather Shertzer, the Fiverr Guy and you


I had been working on the dating book for years and was on the home stretch when I realized that if I wanted to complete it well, I would need to hire a graphic designer for the cover. When you invest that much time you want to have the end product be something you love. So, I contacted my friend Heather Shertzer and she accepted the challenge. 

She made a cover I am proud of and as a bonus, she redid the cover for Eric's recent book as well. She understood just what it would take to upload them for publishing and how to handle all the necessary parameters for both books. (Be watching for a new cover for Traction soon as well!) Without Heather, I would have spent hours trying to figure out what was needed and probably had a design I was just okay with if I did it myself. 

She is a professional and she was/is a godsend!

So then I go to publish the book. What a milestone! What an exciting event! I order myself a copy and find a few things I want to change. The...

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Discerning: Is it a Lie, a Learning or should you just Let it go...


Ever have a recurring thought?

Maybe you are second-guessing a decision, or feeling bad about something you haven't done yet.

Maybe self-doubt is haunting you, but you wonder if there really is something you need to adjust in your life.

Recently I read John 9:42. It's the last verse of the story where Jesus heals the blind man by putting clay on his eyes and telling him to wash it off in a certain pool. Then the Pharisees don't want to believe it and they grill his parents and then him about the healing. Jesus finds the man who was healed and reveals His deity to him. He tells him He came to make the blind see and show those who think they can see that they are blind. The Pharisees are indignant and ask if He is saying they are blind. Then the final verse says,

“If you were blind, you wouldn’t be guilty,” Jesus replied. “But you remain guilty because you claim you can see."

When I read that verse I had an Aha moment.

God's Spirit is always...

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Coaching & Costa Rica ~ Meet Alex and Delia!

Meet our friends Alex and Delia!

Eric first met Alex a few years back when he went on a mission trip to Mexico. He and Alex hit it off and have been fast friends since then.

When we joined the Worship Center (WC) staff, we made the Bridges Coach Training material available to all our global partners and Alex and his then fiance, Delia, took us up on the offer. 

The coaching paradigm caught on with them, so much so that after they got married and moved to Germany, Delia asked if she could begin adding German subscripts to all the videos. THANK YOU Delia! Many tedious hours later they now offer Bridges Coach Training in German! (Scroll to the bottom of that page and you'll see their picture.)

So, what does that have to do with Costa Rica? I'm glad you asked.

We have kept up a relationship with Alex and Delia who are now living there. They work with an organization called Answering the Call. Their organization's mission is to reach people in difficult-to-reach places....

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bonus blog~BASICCON, Bridges and benefits! (time-limited offers)

basciccon Mar 29, 2023

Hey friends,

I'm off to BASICCON this weekend and wanted to let you in on some offers we created just for this weekend!

But first - what is BASICCON? Thanks for asking! BASIC stands for Brothers And Sisters In Christ. It's a network of college students in the Northeast who come together to enjoy life, learn about God, and make difference in the world. BASICCON (think conference)  is a gathering of the various groups in one location - this year Rochester, NY.

If you have a college campus near you but have never heard of BASIC, connecting with them could give your church a means to reach out to young adults and invest in them as they launch into the next generation of the church. Maybe it's worth looking  into.


This weekend I'll be doing the Saturday afternoon workshop. I'm sharing a short version of our Life On Purpose personal workshop retreat. Since we won't be able to go through the entire workshop we are offering the video course for an...

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