In case you missed the memo I recently completed the first draft of a dating book I have been working on for about ten years! Before Bridges Coaching I worked at a Bible College as a dean and learned lots of things about how to - and how not to- date well!

I started the book in that era and then launched Bridges coaching so the book was put on the back burner for a while, then we had a surprise chapter and moved to PA where we both work at a wonderful church and Bridges became what I did on the side, so the book was my side side - if there is such a thing. 

So here's the perspective-shifting thought.

My husband, Eric, was talking about my completing the draft and he said "Actually, I'm glad it took you this long. You have been really good with having boundaries about how much you work. What if you had pushed yourself to get it done sooner and that really cost our family or our marriage?"

WOW!

He was right!

I felt immediate relief for all the guilt I had felt with...

Whether you are a coach or a coachee, pastor or parishioner, minister, mom, or mentor the number one obstacle that holds anyone back is something I call the Sunday drive perspective.

When you are on a Sunday drive you don’t really have a destination. You are just driving around for the sake of getting out of the house. (If you have never heard of a Sunday drive, that is something we used to do before gas prices were ridiculous and also before our Sundays were a desperate attempt at recuperation from the work week.)

The point of a Sunday drive was the rambling. It was just a journey with no specific destination for the purpose of spending time with whoever went along. There's nothing wrong with that if your purpose is to slow down and spend time together. 

But when our lives slip into a Sunday drive mindset we don’t have a clear destination. There is no defined purpose or goal we are working toward. Our lives are...

These last two years.....  What can you say?

The whole pandemic season was unexpected, challenging, disruptive, and costly in so many ways!

Now what - how do we heal? what does "normal" look like?

God never wants to waste anything. He always wants to use what we have been through, or are going through, for GOOD in our lives.

We want to help you process what you have experienced!

Bridges Coaching is offering a FLASH SALE for our Soul Care Personal Retreat! for just $20.

What's a refresh worth to you?

What have you done for YOU lately? Maybe it's time to spend some time with God, truly process what is in your heart and listen for what is in His heart for you. This self-paced video journey gives you prompts for processing and helps you lean into your own personal refreshing journey!

AND who could you gift a REFRESH to? Maybe your pastor could use a personal retreat, or maybe your boss or coworker, perhaps an adult child or good friend. 

Use the code...

[Tips and tools]

I'm an "N" in the MyersBriggs personality profile. One thing that means is that tactical things are not my best game. I guess you could say an absent-minded professor profile kind of fits when it comes to certain things. If I'm not focused the milk can be put away in the cupboard, or I may burn my hands getting things out of the oven.

I once had to have Eric turn around on the way to work because I forgot to wear shoes...

So, when it comes to remembering things that are tactical it can be tricky for people like me. It's not enough to want to add a new habit. I have to really think it through. (But then again, maybe all people are like that? I'd love to hear your thoughts.)

Habit stacking isn't new for me, but I didn't know what to call it till I read Atomic Habits by James Clear. This is a great read for anyone with a growth mindset. If you want to add something new to your life, you will need to change some things and this pathway can help.

This first...

What is Coaching? 

I get asked that a lot.

Maybe you've asked that as well, or you get asked that. 

In the Coaching Culture certification course, we actually have a project where trainees have to give an elevator speech with their version of the answer. (An elevator speech is having an answer you can share with someone in the time it takes for an elevator ride.)

The ICC, International Coaching Community, website puts it succinctly like this: 

Coaching has been defined in many ways. The essence of coaching is:

• To help a person change in the way they wish and help them go in the direction they want to go.
• Coaching supports a person at every level in becoming who they want to be.
• Coaching builds awareness empowers choice and leads to change.

There are plenty of other leadership or caregiving models that are not coaching - like teaching, mentoring, consulting, and counseling. And they each have their place in a person's life.

Christian coaching uses a Biblical model of...

10 things I loved about, and learned, from Stacy Cline.

Stacy Cline was first my college professor, then my grief counselor, eventually my boss (for my years as Dean of women at Elim Bible Institute), and through it all a dear friend.

So many tributes are being written about this amazing man of God right now and the stories warm my heart, tear me up and bring an ache in my heart that physically hurts... I'm happy for him though, like all those who know him, that he is out of pain and with his "sweetheart" once again. I'm happy he is with his Lord and no doubt hearing the words we all long for, "Well done, thou good and faithful servant". (Danielle and Michelle, you are in our hearts and our prayers. May God comfort us all as we are suffering this loss.*)

#1 - He was my first real coach. Stacy rarely told anyone what to do, he most often listened, cared, asked questions, prayed, and helped you work through options till a good choice was made.

#2 - He had an open-door policy. As...

Most of you know I work full time for a church I love - Worship Center in Lancaster, PA. 

Eric and I were not looking for a move when God surprised us with this chapter of our life about 5 years ago. (He's like that isn't He - full of surprises.) One of the questions we had to answer when we decided God was leading us here was what to do with Bridges Coaching. I/we had developed a number of trainings and workshops and didn't feel it was right to just dissolve Bridges. 

God led me to make spaces for others to step into the active ministry roles I stepped out of when we moved. Sarah now is the primary course host for Coach Training and April works with the Destiny branch. Michelle champions the exclusive course of Next Level Coach training. Others facilitate peer pairs as needed. I love it when His plan is a win-win! 

Last year, Alex and Delia Dienner launched a German version of Coaching Culture! Amazing! What's next? (Spanish??)

My role is to continue...

In Bridges Coaching one of the foundational tools we use is called the Always Circle. It is built on these three statements:

- There is always going to be stuff.

- God always offers a plan.

- We always make choices.

See the three "always" in there. Hence the name, Always Circle.

One of the reasons we are intrigued by Escape Rooms is that we know there is a solution and we want to see if we can figure it out. 

Coaching can be like that - if we believe in God.

We have some sort of "stuff". We need to make a decision, or we need a pathway to move forward. We want healing. We're looking for connection. There is something in our life that requires attention and we are hoping for resolution.

In an Escape Room setting, we know that there IS a way out. Others have gone before us. the quest is to figure it out in a certain amount of time and "escape" from the room.

In a Coaching conversation, the parameters are similar. Let's take a look at the parts of the Always Circle...

At our church, we have a saying,

Discussion leads to discovery,

Discovery highlights decisions,

Decisions determine destiny!

The adult learning model forwards the idea that "grown-ups" learn differently than children. Children need to be taught in a top-down leadership model that teaches, or tells, them what to do.

It sounds like, "Don't cross the road without looking both ways", or "Put your coat on before you go outside."

Turns out adults learn better from questions and prefer being trusted with application. That would sound more like, "What are some ways we could safely cross the street?", or "How will you know if you should wear a coat?"

Maybe those aren't the best examples. 

How about a values-based example.

Let's say the point the pastor wants to get across is about having personal devotions. They could tell people they need to read through the Bible in a year, or read for a certain amount of time each day, or that they need to have a prayer journal or any number of...

This is one of my personal favorite enlightening questions.

"What's at stake?" can take me from not knowing whether or not to move forward to being more sure of a next step. 

I've seen people I have been coaching get complete clarity when they talk out what is at stake if they do, or don't do, whatever it is they are thinking about.

The answer to "What's at stake?" is usually clear to me. It has to do with following the Spirit's guidance in my life. If I feel like God is leading me a certain way then what's at stake is my obedience to Him. Following that prompting, in turn, affects my ability to hear Him the next time He is guiding me.

Sometimes it is hard to know if a prompting is really God, or just us. 

Sometimes we feel compelled, but the circumstances don't line up quite yet.

Whatever your situation, if God is prompting you to consider coach training at this time, say "Yes". 

Here are 5 reasons why it might be time and also what could be at stake.

1- Coach...