Coaching is actually an alternative word for discipleship. The foundations of coaching call for the person being coached to wisely choose a focus and then make quality action steps to move toward that end. Sounds like using our God-given free will wisely right?
There are two other options for interacting with people.
Here are a few things about “telling”. There IS a place for it! When someone is young they need to be told things. You don’t work with a child discussing the values of whether they should make a goal about crossing the road safely - you just tell them, “You have to look both ways before you cross a street.”
When a believer is young, they need to be told/taught things. They need to learn about what it means to walk out your faith, the importance of having a quiet time, how to live in a God-honoring way.
But as they grow, they will come to decisions they NEED to make on their own. If we tell them what to do...
Bet you didn't ever think I would have a list of reasons titled "Why I don't really like coaching?"
(And why God has better plans than me.)
Here is the honest truth.
1) I would rather have someone tell me what to do. It's hard work having to discern on my own. It would just be easier to have a go-to person who would talk out loud to me and give me step-by-step instructions.
(Turns out God wants a personal relationship with me and for me to have a growing adult relationship with HIm.)
2) I want to be that person for others all the time. I want to tell them what I think. I often feel people are being too risky, or taking too long to move forward, or not counting all the costs... a dozen things. It would be way easier to just share my brilliance than to help them discern the next steps God is guiding them toward.
(But what if? What if their risk tolerance is higher than mine because God made them that way and He IS guiding them toward that choice? What if I am being impatient with...
The definition of benevolent includes words like kind and well-meaning. They sound like Jesus words to me, but how can "benevolent" be paired with "detachment" and still be kind and well-meaning?
Think of it this way.
Someone calls our church with a need for rent money. We have a certain protocol we walk through before helping out and one of the questions we need answered is whether or not we have helped in the past. Imagine if someone could just call every month and we just paid their rent for them. Would that be good for them?
Instead, we offer financial coaching. We want to help people have gainful employment, manage their finances, and set them up for a more secure future.
We want to help them learn to fish instead of just giving them a fish.
We are playing the long game.
It's easier, and in truth feels more rewarding, to just give the fish, pay the rent, meet the need, make the decision, give the guidance, soothe the pain...
It's better, and in...
Saboteurs whisper to us all, they sound like friends, they seem wise, but they infiltrate our minds like a poison that tastes sweet.
Discipleship saboteurs say things like,
The best poison is only a small percent deadly, but if you take it in you will eventually die...
Using coaching as the Biblical way of discipleship helps people build their own relationship with God.
Coaching builds disciples not dependents.
Coach training can teach you how!
Saboteurs whisper their hopelessness on the other side of coaching as well. Coaches have helped me discern many of the following as limiting...
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