Rehashing is actually a thing. The definition of rehash is "to discuss again without significant change".
We do it all the time. We talk about how something is really hard and we can't really do anything about it. We justify being stuck and excuse ourselves from finding a way to move forward.
It feels legit when we do it, but it can feel annoying when someone else does it.
You know. you have this friend, client, co-worker, or family member, and they just keep circling around the same topic. The conversation is almost verbatim. You ask how things are going, and they tell you the same thing they said last time.
"What's new?", you say.
"Not much," they reply. And they tell you about their situation again...
If I'm honest though, I do the same thing! I get in a rut in my thinking and feel like I have explored all the angles and there is just no way out.
It's sad really. There is no hope when our perspective is like that.
It feels like the situation is truly...
A pastor friend of mine recently told me that a mentor of his mentioned that he wasn't even sure coaching was biblical. I actually understand that question.
Many people, pastors even, don't really know what coaching is.
And if I'm completely honest, I really wish there was a different word than coaching for that very reason. It gets confusing. Many people think coaching is telling others what to do in a kind, but direct, way. Coaching, as we align with at Bridges, is quite different.
Coaches help people learn to discern what God is prompting them to think and do. It's much easier to weigh in and tell people what you think they should do. Maybe you have been through a similar situation and you feel you should just spare them the difficulty and give them your solution.
But what if...
What if God has a different plan for their journey?
Of course, there...
Ever wish you could have a do-over? Maybe it was something you said or did, or maybe something you didn't say or didn't do. Whatever it was, you wish it didn't happen the way it did?
We're all human so it happens sometimes...
Some people choose never to look back. "No regrets," they say, but perhaps this isn't the best approach. If we can't learn from what has happened how can we ever show up the way we really want to be?
I propose the Rethink and Prethink method.
It goes like this.
1- You have a nagging thought that you wish something had gone differently. You choose not to stuff it, but to ask God to help you see what He has for you in it.
2- You choose to explore what happened. You lean into processing what caused you to say or do whatever you have concerns about. You explore your emotions and how you were triggered. You'll probably need to work through some hurt and likely forgiveness will be involved - receiving and giving. (for more on this step check out 4...
Jesus was rarely a "teller", and when He was it was mainly to the religious leaders when He was telling them off in no uncertain terms.
Think about it when you are reading the gospels. Jesus often responded to questions with questions, or sometimes with stories. We also have the beatitudes and many word pictures about what the kingdom is like. Most often, He encouraged people to decide what they needed to do next.
When we tell people what we think they should do we risk getting in the way of their personal connection with God. Of course, there are moral boundaries and we would never encourage someone to "decide" if those were right, but here are a few examples of where coaching questions could help someone make healthy choices:
Just to name a few.
Coaching makes disciples by helping...
We all do it. We shift into "easy mode" and let go of what we decided we were going to do. We drift away from, and never toward, intentionality.
And whether we like it or not it is our choice. Whether we mean to do it or not it is still a choice.
It's hard to choose well and then even harder to keep it up.
You know what I mean right?
You wake up in the morning and think to yourself, "Why did I do that last night? I said I wasn't going to have ice cream while watching TV!"
Or you look in the mirror and say, "Alright, it's back to the gym for you girl!"
Maybe it's a character habit for you, like losing your cool or giving in to worry or depression. Maybe it is a habit you want to start or one you want to stop. It could be a project you want to complete or even just one you want to start.
Whatever is on your mind, or whatever you are avoiding, the choice is yours. You can blame others or excuse yourself. OR you can take responsibility for who you are and how you are living...
Let's review our journey on the Bridges Coaching ROAD so far.
R - take some time to RECOGNIZE where you want to go. Where are you building a bridge to? Please don't just pick something that bugs you, or even what jazzes you. Take time to discern where God is leading you to next! More on that here.
O - consider your personality and your track record. If what you were shooting for was easy, you would probably already be there or at least on your way. A new goal, a new journey, is going to take some OWNERSHIP on your part. Ask yourself what obstacles need to be addressed for you to move forward.
This brings us to our next letter in the Coaching ROAD.
A - is for ACTION STEPS.
Most people probably find the most traction here. This answers the "Now what?" question. Learning to make SMART goals is something our coach trainees say is a highlight of their studies. Defining where you want to build toward and what has held you back are important first steps, but we still haven't...
Let's talk about middles.
We all have them. We are all in the middle of something.
Maybe we are literally traveling, but more likely we are in the middle of a project, or a life change, or making a decision.
Every actual accomplishment has a start and a finish.
It's the middle where the work happens though. Or where we get stalled out.
In Proverbs 4:11 God says, "I am guiding you in the way of wisdom, and I am leading you on the right path."
It's a matter of discernment isn't? Figuring out how He is guiding us takes savvy. We get an inkling of where we should move toward something and we either heed it or we don't.
There's discernment needed for timing too. Sometimes we put things off that we should invest right away, or we jump the gun and put our energy into something too soon.
But most often we lose heart after we get started and stall out. Middles can be costly or boring or just plain take too long.
It's not easy to figure out what to do.
We've been digging in to the word "Discernment" as a church staff lately and looking at what it means in our everyday lives. The Bible gives us overarching guidelines we need to adhere to - like "Don't kill people" in the Old Testament, and "Don't even hate people" in the New Testament.
But, you can't just say to do what the Bible says. Sometimes the Bible isn't so clear. Fairly often even it forwards two completely different responses. Here are a few examples:
- Share the truth in love ~ Love covers a multitude of sins
- Judge wisely ~ Don’t judge at all
- Give to everyone who asks ~ Don’t throw your pearls before swine
- Don’t take anything with you ~ Prepare well
- Be the head and not the tail ~ Be the servant of all
- Be angry and sin not ~ Be at peace with all men
You get the picture. Even the same situation in a different season of your life will require new discernment
The Bible points us to a...
What's your recurring dream?
Whether your dreams are for fun or accomplishment, for physical health or emotional well-being, or to upgrade your personal life or be a better assist to someone else, turning hopes and dreams into reality and memories could be as easy as good coaching!
Good Coaching helps you define the goal, remove the obstacles that have impeded forward movement, and set up a plan with reasonable action steps and clear follow-through.
Maybe it is YOU* that is hoping and dreaming, or maybe you'd like to help others get unstuck. Walking down the Bridges Coaching ROAD helps people get "there".
Where would you love to build a bridge to?
*Best Option: Life Coach Certification
Next Best Option: Coach Training Video Course
*Life Coaching: Associate Coaches Connections
Everything starts with an idea, but some of the best ideas never grow to become real. Having ideas is a great and important first step. Making quality goals changes outcomes and ultimately transforms lives.
It has been said that if you aren’t sure where you are going you will surely get there (nowhere) or if you fail to aim you aim to fail!
In order to have a step-by-step plan or leading from God you need to have steps. You can always change them as He leads, but having them keeps in motion. It is always easier to turn a moving ship, car, bike, skateboard... whatever.
To quote American philanthropist Elbert Hubbard,
"Many people fail in life, not for lack of ability or brains or even courage, but simply because they have never organized their energies around a goal."
Dreams are unrefined hope and cost-free aspirations that we might do someday. Converting a dream into a goal is a decision to take tangible steps to pursue it. Goals are specific future targets that we...
Get tips from Cindy a few times a month, and learn about new opportunities grow in your coaching skills!