Honest Ownership May The Most Important, and Most Neglected, Step
So, you've named your thing. You have decided on a goal, or named an obstacle you want to remove. Congrats!
The good news is that you can't move toward something till you name it, so good on ya! Yay!
But wait, there's more. Let me explain.
I can't tell you how often I have identified (named) a goal or an obstacle and felt strongly about it, only to see it fall by the wayside without a healthy assessment and then a plan for forward movement.
Here are a few examples from my life or others:
- That's it, no more sugar for me until I lose X pounds. What's wrong with me that I can't control myself?
- I see now that I keep thinking I am not enough, this pattern of thinking has cost me too much sideways energy. I can't keep facing life through this lens.
- Okay, I know God wants me to make that move! (or do that project, or start or finish that thing) This is going to be great!
- Here's the thing, this angst won't change until I talk to that person. I just need to do it.
...
How To Redirect "Rehashing" For Yourself And Others
Rehashing is actually a thing. The definition of rehash is "to discuss again without significant change".
We do it all the time. We talk about how something is really hard and we can't really do anything about it. We justify being stuck and excuse ourselves from finding a way to move forward.
It feels legit when we do it, but it can feel annoying when someone else does it.
You know. you have this friend, client, co-worker, or family member, and they just keep circling around the same topic. The conversation is almost verbatim. You ask how things are going, and they tell you the same thing they said last time.
"What's new?", you say.
"Not much," they reply. And they tell you about their situation again...
If I'm honest though, I do the same thing! I get in a rut in my thinking and feel like I have explored all the angles and there is just no way out.
It's sad really. There is no hope when our perspective is like that.
It feels like the situation is truly...
4 Steps To Shift An Aspirational Goal To An Actual Pathway!
I desire to retire well, to be self-supporting and not a burden on my children.
I also want to write a book about pendulums that will help people discern how God is guiding them.
I'm hoping to lose 4 inches in my middle (just keeping it real).
And I dream of being close with my children and grandchildren as we all grow older.
These are all genuine goals for me. I really desire them all. But they will most likely remain dreams if don't add a pathway of intentional action steps toward the goals.
Sometimes churches have aspirational goals too.
We will break the 200-person attendance ceiling, or we will get to 1000 or whatever number...
More than 50% of our people will be in small groups.
Giving will increase by 20% in the next year.
Here's the thing. Clarifying a goal is good, but it is only a first step. Drilling down on a desire gives you something to shoot for, but it's like setting up a target...
Why I Do What I Do Now - An Honest Disclosure
Most of you know I work full time for a church I love - Worship Center in Lancaster, PA.
Eric and I were not looking for a move when God surprised us with this chapter of our life about 5 years ago. (He's like that isn't He - full of surprises.) One of the questions we had to answer when we decided God was leading us here was what to do with Bridges Coaching. I/we had developed a number of trainings and workshops and didn't feel it was right to just dissolve Bridges.
God led me to make spaces for others to step into the active ministry roles I stepped out of when we moved. Sarah now is the primary course host for Coach Training and April works with the Destiny branch. Michelle champions the exclusive course of Next Level Coach training. Others facilitate peer pairs as needed. I love it when His plan is a win-win!
Last year, Alex and Delia Dienner launched a German version of Coaching Culture! Amazing! What's next? (Spanish??)
My role is to continue...
4 Key Steps to Moving Forward (and they rhyme so theyโre easy to remember)
People can get stuck… some get stuck in a mood and feel depressed or just sad, some get stuck in an attitude and feel angry or confused. Others get in a rut and think there is no way out. Still others mess up somehow and believe there is no way to move on.
It’s not new.
Over and over we see Biblical characters getting stuck.
- Noah let his guard down and embarrassed himself and his family.
- Elijah felt alone and depressed right after he was involved in two major miracles.
- David got distracted and totally messed up when he wasn’t focused.
- Thomas doubted.
- Peter denied.
And the list could go on and on…
But thanks be to God – He always offers us a way out!
So, whether it’s you yourself that needs an assist out of a pit, or you need tools to offer that assist to someone you are working with, here’s 4 key steps to moving forward.
The first one sounds religious, but hear me out!
Repent – It’s kind of a church word isn’t it....