3 Reasons People Feel Unmotivated at this time (AND How To Flip The Script!)

focus frustration new life Mar 28, 2020

What an odd time we are all in! Few would have seen this coming and yet here we are.

I don’t know about you, but when this all first came down I dreamed this could be a time of leaning into some changes I had been considering.

Okay I’ll be vulnerable…. 

What I wanted to do was to get serious/consistent about logging my food daily, make a new habit of doing my physical therapy, set some intentional time aside for Bridges development (my side hustle), send out a handwritten card each day and be intentional about connecting with family during this season.

What actually happened, so far, was extra time with family…

Here’s the 3 reasons I think motivation is lacking in this season:

1) A new normal syphons a lot of energy. Even though most of us gave up a commute, depending on our situations we now have other things on our plate – online everything, meal planning, taking care of kids, checking in with compromised family members.

Needing to be...

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6 Questions In A Crisis

When I was learning about writing I was taught to treat each topic like a reporter would and ask all the questions: Who, What, When, Where, Why and How. Let’s look at this situation with those questions in mind. 

Where is God in this?

             John 16:32-33 “Listen to me; a time is coming when you will be scattered, each to your own home. That time is now here. You will leave me alone, but I am never really alone, because the Father is with me. I told you these things so that you can have peace in me. In this world you will have trouble, but be brave! I have defeated the world.

Jesus was referring to the early church, but the echo of His presence being with us remains throughout all time.

God is WITH us! That is where He is. He has not abandoned us.

He’s not worried,

He is not overwhelmed.

He always wants to use all things for good. (Romans 8:28)

 

How could this be used for good?

Whenever...

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3 Definitions of what Coaching is NOT (according to the ICF – International Coach Federation)

Uncategorized Mar 14, 2020

“Coaching” is a buzzword in today’s society – business and ministry alike, but what does it really mean?

In Bridges Coaching we talk about how coaching gets you from here to there, like Cinderella’s coach or stagecoaches in the Wild West. There are a lot of different destinies people have as goals and many different types of coaches as well.

Here’s three types we are NOT talking about when referring to life coaching.

1) Teachers – Sports coaches are a type of this model. They are teachers of sorts, educating their athletes in best practices. Teaching them the plays necessary to win. 

2) Consultants – Many business leaders use the word coaching as synonymous with consulting. They hire someone with a particular expertise or education in a certain field to direct an initiative. A consultant may help a business focus on a lagging area or on a new enterprise. They pass on their skill or knowledge.

A health or fitness coach would likely...

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The Journey Continues… Or Does It?

Uncategorized Feb 28, 2020

I kinda love that God gave us free will and I kinda hate it. I really want to do the right thing(s), but sometimes I am not exactly sure what that means.

I’m not talking about moral decisions, getting rid of bad habits or starting good ones, I’m talking about choices that have to do with careers or relationships, where there could be two or more good options on the table.

There’s a third choice too.

And that’s the one we’re going to focus on today. Sometimes when the possibilities are foggy, the future is too…

It’s easy to get stuck in decision fatigue and just put off making a choice at all. This is especially true when we are thinking about pursuing a new dream.

Possible foci could be:

  • Saving up for a family vacation
  • Addressing that health concern
  • Writing a book
  • Turning a hobby into a side hustle
  • Redoing that room in your house
  • Perfecting a craft
  • Talking to that person about…

Analysis paralysis can keep us stuck where we are...

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New Year's Questions - reflect on how God was with you this past year and dream together for the next!

Living your best life doesn’t just happen, connecting with God, processing our past and preparing for our future usually requires intentional focus! Choosing good questions helps facilitate connection between what’s happening inside of us and how we live our lives.

Use these questions on your own, with your spouse or small group, friends or family. Pick a few or use them all if you feel moved.

Start with prayer – ask God to highlight what He wants you to remember from this past year.

Reflecting Questions:

  • What are some significant events, accomplishments or relationships to acknowledge and celebrate from this last year?
  • Where did God meet you in the middle of a difficult circumstance?
  • What one character quality did you lean into this last year? (i.e. courage, peace, hope…)
  • What name of God did you experience in a new way? (i.e. Counselor, Friend, Father…)
  • Who is one person that connected with you in a significant way this past year? How will you let...
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Coaching & Hunting [most men are like this]

Uncategorized Nov 14, 2019

We may not know exactly what this hunter is shooting at but we’re all pretty sure it is something? He’s likely not just randomly launching arrows into the woods.

While not all men are hunters, and not all hunters are men, in my experience most men do have a target in mind when they are doing just about anything.

Take shopping for example.

Most men want to identify the item that is supposed to be acquired, and then they want to get in, find it, and get out. If however, the “target” is to take a walk and hang out with their wife, then perhaps strolling through the mall would be possible, but God help the woman who stops to look at something on sale. “Are we walking or shopping?” will likely go through the man’s head, if not come out his mouth.

(Disclaimer: don’t email me and tell me you and your spouse are not like this. Results may vary, but a quick google search or research of any kind will tell you that men’s mind’s are...

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So, the driver says, "Where to?"

Uncategorized Oct 31, 2019

Taxi, Uber, and Lyft drivers have a lot in common with good coaches!

When you are looking for a ride somewhere the first question is always, “Where to?” Good coaching is like that as well.

In the Next Level Bridges Coach Training course we have been talking about the importance of the Coaching Agreement.

(That’s coach-speak for defining the goal or focus of the conversation)

Just like when you hire a driver you have to have a destination for the ride to be successful, in a coaching session, it needs to be clear where you are going. This is the shared responsibility of both the person being coached and the coach.

If the coach doesn’t hear a clearly defined destination, it’s his/her job to ask the kinds of questions that will help define where the conversation should go.

Remember, the conversation is supposed to be coaching the client toward the destination!

If we don’t have a clearly defined destination we are just wandering around, both in our...

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Three Reasons Message-Based Discussion Groups Change Lives

discussion Sep 20, 2019

I love my church! And I am delighted with the message-based discussion model we offer to promote active journeying with God and His plan for each of our lives. We have developed a 4 D model that we use to explain this pathway.

 

 

Let’s dissect this for a bit.

Discussion leads to Discovery. There are two ways this works.

First, when we discuss we have to choose words to explain what we are thinking. I don’t know about you but there are many times when I talk about something and end up working out the whole situation just because I am verbalizing. It goes something like this, “I'm dealing with _________ in my life right now. It’s tricky because__________. I’m not sure what to do, but I wonder if I should __________. You know what? That actually might work. Thanks so much for talking about this with me.” The other person may, or may not, have had much input, but just the fact that I had a safe place to talk made all the difference.

The...

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What Noom and Keto, Crossfit and Planet Fitness taught me about coaching? (and evangelism)

Uncategorized Aug 20, 2019

My Facebook feed is blowing up with ads for Noom and I have family members making great traction losing weight on the Keto diet. If you know someone in Crossfit, well, you’ve heard all about it. Personally, I’m all in on MyFitnessPal and Planet Fitness.

What do all these things have in common?

They work!

And the people who do them most often want to share their pathway.

They have good intentions. They want you to experience the success they are experiencing. But here’s the thing.

Not everyone’s journey is the same. Some people prefer to exercise alone and some like group accountability. Some people want to go fast and hard toward their goal and others want a sustainable long term pace.

God made us all different. We all have different triggers and targets.

However, we all have something in common as well. We all have a tendency to want to tell others what worked for us and offer it as THE pathway toward THEIR best future.

Who knows? Our “thing”...

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Maybe You're Just Hangry?

Hangry: adj. (han-gree) a state of emotional angst caused by lack of sufficient nourishment, an increasingly negative outlook as a result of increased hunger.

 Have you ever been hangry? I have.

 Usually, I don’t realize the cause though the symptoms are pretty obvious (to others):

  • Skewed outlook on life
  • Short fuse
  • Negativity
  • Hopeless passivity
  • General and growing sense of angst

It’s a family member that usually helps me out. They start out with kind words. “Hey, you okay?” or questions, “Wow, rough day?” and they move toward mirroring, “You don’t seem yourself. What’s up?”

If I get defensive they help me see that my words or actions are not reflecting who they know me to be. If they are really on their game they just offer me something, like my favorite: a well crafted Starbucks Chai Latte (grande, 9 pumps, nonfat, no foam – just in case you were wondering).

What I don’t like is that my hunger has...

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