Maybe We Are Asking The Wrong Question(s)
When "stuff" happens, the go-to question for most of us is typical. "Why?"
Why did "that" happen?
Why did someone pass early? Why did that tragedy happen? Why did I lose my job? Why can't I meet someone? Why am I misunderstood?Â
WHY IS THIS HAPPENING!?
Job was never given a clear understanding of why he was dealt such a bad hand. Can you imagine? All your children die in one fell swoop? Your businesses fail, your stock investments tank, you are in utter familial and financial devastation, and then... then you trun up with horrid boils all over your body?Â
Just yuck.
Job spent some time asking some questions, and then God showed up and started asking some questions of His own. Turns out God doesn't report to us. He's not American and has His own definition of fair.
He is God, we are not. And yet He allows, even invites, us to interact with Him. To pour out our hearts. The psalms are full of this kind of dialogue.Â
God wants to hear from us, but He does not "report" to us. We c...
Coaching Questions to take Everyday Conversations to a Next Level
You know those regular greetings we have where you say something like, "Hey, how ya' doing?" Maybe you really want to know, but more likely you just want to say more than a simple "Hi".Â
Or how about the classic, "How was your day?" that you ask a spouse, or child, a friend, or family member. It's usually met with another classic, "Fine, and yours?"
Let's take some coaching concepts and build a list of questions that could take our conversations deeper, helping us to know each other more and strengthen our conversations and our relationships.Â
Think of a few relationships you would like to go a little deeper. Which of the following questions could work for you in different scenarios?
- Tell me about your day - what was funny or sad or weird?
- What was hard for you today?
- What was the best thing that happened today, or on vacation, or over the weekend, or ?.
- Who is someone that inspires you?Â
- Where did you see God at work today?
- What is something you are praying for?
- What is a ...
Is The Scale The Answer?
What your scale tells you is just data. It gives you a fact - the honest truth about your weight.
The scale can be your friend if it tells you something you like, or your enemy if it doesn't. But the truth is the scale is just a tool to help you see what really is.
For me the scale is motivation!
If I like what I see it is motivation to keep up the good work, and if I don't like what I see it is a reminder that true change will take intentionality.
That's the bottom line really.
Change rarely happens by accident. It's hardly ever a surprise.Â
If I don't like what I see I have two options, well three maybe.
1) I can choose to do something about what I see.
This will include making a plan for an alternative outcome. It will likely include some trial and error, some intentionality and grit, and will probably require a realistic look at a reasonable timeline for effecting change.
2) I can avoid seeing and just not weigh myself anymore.
This plan will avoid acknowledgment of anyth...
But Really ~ What's Holding You Back? (2 ways to use this empowering question)
When thinking about a decision it can be helpful to weigh the pros and cons. Personally, I like to write them out and then take them to an "altar" in prayer and talk to God.
I say something like, "Here we go God, this is what I can see, but you know it all. Help me choose wisely and guide me with Your Spirit!"
Sometimes, I think He gives me the choice myself and encourages me to just decide, and sometimes I feel a certain sense of what I should do. Occasionally, He drops something in my mind or heart that is new information that helps guide me toward the wise choice.
Then, I ask myself this question: What's holding you back?
If the honest answer is fear of any kind: fear of the unknown, fear of how I will perform, or fear of first (I've never done anything like this before), then I calm my soul and ask God for the courage to say "yes".Â
I can not let fear guide my life choices.
As promised, there are two ways you can use this empowering question.Â
1) You can use this question wh...
3 Invaluable Coaching Questions for "PPSD" [Post Pandemic Stress Disorder]
Ever heard of PPSD? If not yet, you will soon.
We've all been through a lot. Church leaders and businesses have had to move online. Schools were closed or disrupted. There were racial tensions on several fronts. Political issues were divisive. Social media moved from being a place to share pics of babies and celebration events to a rant fest.Â
Let's take a quick review. How many of these were true for you?
___You added some new initiatives, especially if you are a church or business leader and you added online offerings.
___You adjusted to different ways to connect with family or friends.
___You learned Zoom or another online video connecting platform.Â
___You got some sort of government money and you either needed it because your financial situation was severely affected, or you felt awkward and weren't sure why you were gifted and what, ethically, you should do with the money.
___You had to adjust your life around school being virtual at times.
___You were quarantined due to ...
But Really, How Will You Know When It Is Time?
Well...
“How will you know?”
It’s probably my favorite coaching question out there.
"How will you know (what ___)," "how will you know (when ___)," "how will you know (how ___)."
When prompted by the Holy Spirit to ask that powerful question, it unlocks a potential path forward for the person sitting across from you.Â
Instead of listening to advice or guidance from a "coach," the "how will you know" question puts the ball completely in their corner.Â
So, how will you know when it’s time to sign up for coaching certification?
Or how will you know when it’s time to ask someone you lead if they’re ready to sign up for coaching certification?
There are only five days left to register for our upcoming coaching cohort and there's no better time than the present to ask yourself "How will I know if it's time?"