Who Is The Story About? (Hint: Jesus flipped this all around!!)
We all do it. We make the story about us. It's human nature for us to think of our part and forward how awesome it is.
In marketing, it is common for the product or service to be the main character in the sale. We hear things like, "Our _________ will be the answer", or "We have the best __________". (I've done this before comparing our coach training to others...)
StoryBrand teaches that the person being coached needs to be the main character. When a brand offers to help you be a better you, to serve you in some kind of way, you are much more likely to buy in rather than when they tell you how amazing they are. If something, or someone, truly wants to serve us, it is so different!
Sound familiar? Kingdom culture is like this!
Jesus said He came into this world "not to be served, but to serve". Honestly, this makes me kind of sad. He deserved/s to be served!!
Good coaching is about serving! It's not about coming in to save the day with the coach being the "hero". It's about provi...
The Many Faces Of Failure...
What first comes to your mind when you think of failure?
Here are some initial ideas: unkind words, poor behavior, missed deadlines, and loss of trust.
Perhaps some lesser-recognized failures could be: unreceived forgiveness, unrealized potential, procrastination, and stagnation.
My heart is heavy just thinking of categories. There is so much pain and loss in this world.
But take heart friends, there is NOTHING God cannot redeem. He truly wants to meet us right where we are and walk with us toward our best next step.
We are in good company. Let's take a look at a few Biblical characters who walked through some difficult situations, failures even, and moved on to redeemed situations.
Moses took matters into his own hands and tried to become who God wanted him to be his own way. He was too early and he was out of line. He even murdered a man. And yet, he allowed God to process his heart and he was still asked to be the deliverer God had planned for him to be - in God's timing and...
What Does Success Look Like To You?
If you take Coach Training with Bridges you will learn about Active Listening and Asking Powerful Questions. We'll talk through defining someone's focus and teach you how to assist with making SMART goals- quality action steps, but we hope that the BIGGEST TAKEAWAY for all our trainees is our definition of success. Put simply:
Success is an active relationship with God.
Completing an accomplishment is great. Good Coaching certainly helps people with forward movement, but as believers achieving goals cannot be our primary motivation. Our worth is not in whether or not we get "there" or get "that" done in our lifetime, our worth comes from our adoption into the family of God. It comes from our connection with a settled place with our Father in eternity.
At Bridges Coaching when an action step does not result in the desired outcome we say, "'Failure' is good research." But true "failure" is not having a soul connection with God. His Spirit is in us longing for connection.
When we pr...
Next Up: Action Steps!
Time for a quick review. We've been working through the StoryBrand framework and comparing it to a conversation.
First, we talked about how our lives ARE a story in the making.
Then about who the story is about, and the importance of naming the problem.
Next, they meet a guide who understands their fears and offers a plan!
Today, we'll move on to how to make quality Action Steps.
Once we have decided where we want to get to and we resolve that God always offers a plan, our next step is to walk out what we have discerned. And, I wish it was that easy...
In my experience, discerning well takes years of experience. I have missed the mark in several ways. I have jumped the gun on action steps as well as waited too long. There were times I thought I knew what to do, only to find out it didn't work. I have made emotional decisions that didn't engage with the reality of time or resources available, or I have made logical decisions that didn't consider...
4 Tips for Coaching Introverts and 4 for Extroverts too
The chatty and thinkers - both benefit from good coaching.
In this series, we are going through the differentiators in Myers-Briggs and talking through each type of indicator. Whether you coach in actual sessions or use coaching culture in your regular conversations, these tips can help! Our focus in this blog is Introversion and Extroversion.
Let's begin with definitions, basically, introverts think inside their head. They prefer to process quietly on their own and have likely thought through what they are about to say when they speak. Extroverts, on the other hand, think best while speaking.
Neither is a better way. Both have different assets. All benefit from coaching and here's how.
Introverts being coached should find a safe space to process. When introverts have to choose words to explain what they are thinking and feeling it helps them to identify more clearly what is happening. Being an introvert myself I have experienced this many times. I ask someone for space to proces...
Who Offers Them A Plan... GOOD NEWS! (and hard news...)
Wouldn't you just love it if you could see someone who would just tell you what to do when you were in a jam? If they were sage and savvy and could come through every time it would be well worth the investment.
GOOD NEWS! (and hard news...)
Here's the skinny. We DO have Someone we can go to for the plan! Our plan! Our personal best next steps!
The Holy Spirit IS our Guide! The coaching conversation helps us discern the plan God has for us. Proverbs 4:11 says, "I am guiding you in the way of wisdom, and I am leading you on the right path."
Experience tells us it is not that easy though. So the good news is we DO have a Divine Guide, the hard news is we have to grow in learning how to discern. I don't know about you, but I swing that pendulum back and forth. Sometimes I am so sure that what I am sensing is the plan turns out not to work out. Does that mean I missed it? Or was it just a test? Other times I am paralyzed with concern or fear, or the cost seems too high and the decision ...
Who Meets A Guide (who understands their fear)
Let's review our first steps in comparing StoryBrand marketing and Coaching.
First, we talked about how the conversation needs to be about the person being coached. They are the main character in the story we are writing together.
Next, we talked about the problem. One of the big differences between a coaching conversation and just "friending" is that we are purposefully focusing on a chosen outcome that the person being coached wants to focus on!
Next up is today's focus: who meets a guide who understands their fear.
Here are some of the fears that good coaching helps people recognize:
- feeling stuck with no way out
- not knowing what to do, or even if there is anything that can be done
- feeling abandoned by God and others
- questioning if there is even hope for the future
In Bridges coaching, we talk about the Always Circle and associated lies. There's ALWAYS going to be stuff. God ALWAYS offers a plan. We ALWAYS make choices. Uncovering the associated lies is like realizing ...
Donald Miller, StoryBrand & Coaching
Donald Miller first came on the national scene as the author of Blue Like Jazz. A movie was recently made of the book so you can catch that if you like, it's sad and may make some angry, but it's his story and was part of his journey to becoming a thought leader in explaining and understanding how people make decisions.
Today, Miller leads a marketing company called StoryBrand. He builds a premise for forwarding products that takes a refreshingly different, and surprisingly kingdom-minded, approach.
We'll be taking a look at how the StoryBrand approach is in many ways similar to a good coaching session.
In essence, Coaching is helping someone write the story they want to live.
What's your story? Are you who you want to be?
How about those around you? Those who look to you? Are you helping them write their stories?
Here's a quick overview of StoryBrand. (I found this on google, so I think it is okay to share it, but want to include a plug for the book by the same name, truly som...
Fourth and Final MBTI letter
The fourth and final letter choice in the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator (MBTI) is J/P, for Judging and Perceiving. These two are the least culturally current words used for the concepts involved, but we can unpack them together. First, a little review. MBTI personality assessments consist of 4 letter choices that indicate preferences in the way people do life, make decisions, connect with the world, process information, and more.
The first pair of letters are I/E for Introvert and Extrovert. Here's the link for 4 Tips for Coaching Introverts and 4 for Extroverts too.
The second pair of letters is N/S for INtuitive and Sensor. If you missed it this post talks about timing orientation.
Next is T/F for Thinking and Feeling. These letters describe how people make decisions based on different foundations. Choosing your next move can be tricky, but good coaching can help!
Okay, as stated previously the final pairing is J/P. The terms Judging and Perceiving have morphed in definition since ...
Decisions Come From One of Two Places
In our journey of coaching people better by knowing their Myers-Briggs makeup our third letters are T & F, for Thinking and Feeling. (First, we had I/E for Introversion and Extroversion and then N/S for INtuitive and Sensor,)
Do you know your letters?
I'm an INTJ - Introverted INtuitive Thinker and Judger (more on the 4th letters next time). My husband is ENFJ, so I know a lot about the other letters since we differ on almost all of them.
Let's talk about T & F. Thinking and Feeling refers to how we make our decisions. Thinkers make decisions from logic. I used to think Feelers made their decisions from emotion and that bothered me because emotions can change, but turns out I was wrong. Feelers make their decisions based on values. Let me explain.
Thinkers look at the facts. They calculate efficiency and cost for effect while factoring in variables to come up with what they feel is the best (most logical) option.
Feelers look at the values. They consider who will be affected and...