Tackling The "If Only" Hurdle (O in the Coaching ROAD)
What if you could see your "if only" as a hurdle not a closed gate?
What's an "if only"? I'm glad you asked!
"If only's" are the mental obstacles that come up when you think about forward movement.
In Coach Training we categorize them in past, present, and future. They sound like this:
Past: If only I...
- grew up in a different family.
- hadn't gone through that trauma.
- didn't make that decision.
Present: If only I...
- had more money.
- had more time.
- could connect with that one person or org.
Future: If only I...
- had a better promo plan.
- knew how long it would last.
- knew it would work.
Here's the thing. "If only's" rob us of what could be. They are like a chasm; we can build bridges to get over them. "If only's" are excuses that have dug a rut in our thought patterns. They are the obstacles we come up against when we think about the goal we want to move toward.
We've been talking about the Coaching ROAD. First comes R- recognizing the focus we want to pursue. ...
How To Redirect "Rehashing" For Yourself And Others
Rehashing is actually a thing. The definition of rehash is "to discuss again without significant change".
We do it all the time. We talk about how something is really hard and we can't really do anything about it. We justify being stuck and excuse ourselves from finding a way to move forward.
It feels legit when we do it, but it can feel annoying when someone else does it.
You know. you have this friend, client, co-worker, or family member, and they just keep circling around the same topic. The conversation is almost verbatim. You ask how things are going, and they tell you the same thing they said last time.
"What's new?", you say.
"Not much," they reply. And they tell you about their situation again...
If I'm honest though, I do the same thing! I get in a rut in my thinking and feel like I have explored all the angles and there is just no way out.
It's sad really. There is no hope when our perspective is like that.
It feels like the situation is truly insurmountable and th...
Step 2: Now What?
So, you have a goal, a place you want to build a bridge to, but now what?
(If you missed that blog - start there.)
Most times when we finally decide to do something we jump straight into building action steps. And while I love me some action steps, there's an important foundational step we need to do before we go there.
It has to do with assessing your starting place.
Taking time to discern any possible obstacles will set you up for success better than simply jumping right into action steps. You need to ask yourself if there has been anything that has held you back in the past from moving forward in whatever area you are focusing on.
If there are lies that need to be replaced you can start there.
If you have a history of not following through, it is worth looking in to so you can set yourself up for complete follow-through this time.
If you deal with blame or excuse, it will be important to address those pitfalls before you start anything.
Some people call this "ownership" an...
Step 1: Where Should I Be Building A Bridge?
We got lost...
Recently my husband, Eric, and I were trying to find a particular bike trail. We had located it on the map, but when we got to the spot we were under the trail and couldn't get on it from there. (see the right side of the photo)
I was astounded at the enormity of the structure of the tresses. ! I had no idea how much it took to build that particular bridge even though I had ridden over it before.
Some bridges are like that, but I"m getting ahead of myself. (More on this later.)
Before this bridge was built. Way back in the beginning. Someone had a dream.
They said those oh-so-valuable words...
"What if?"
No bridge is ever built without this step!
No hurt is ever healed. No project is ever completed. No lies are ever removed. No decisions are ever made.
No progress is even possible without choosing a goal!
Where would you like to go?
- Is there a relationship you would like to build?
- How about a recurring lie that you would like to stop affecting your life? ...
Why I Do What I Do Now - An Honest Disclosure
Most of you know I work full time for a church I love - Worship Center in Lancaster, PA.
Eric and I were not looking for a move when God surprised us with this chapter of our life about 5 years ago. (He's like that isn't He - full of surprises.) One of the questions we had to answer when we decided God was leading us here was what to do with Bridges Coaching. I/we had developed a number of trainings and workshops and didn't feel it was right to just dissolve Bridges.
God led me to make spaces for others to step into the active ministry roles I stepped out of when we moved. Sarah now is the primary course host for Coach Training and April works with the Destiny branch. Michelle champions the exclusive course of Next Level Coach training. Others facilitate peer pairs as needed. I love it when His plan is a win-win!
Last year, Alex and Delia Dienner launched a German version of Coaching Culture! Amazing! What's next? (Spanish??)
My role is to continue writing and offering practic...