I don't know about you, but I leak sometimes.
I leak confidence. I leak hope. I lean into despair or worry... and it seems so legit, cuz the stuff is real and it hurts, or it is taking too long, or I don't know why "it" didn't turn out like I thought.
What's wrong with me? I've seen God answer plenty of prayers. I've been the beneficiary of provision, healing, forgiveness, guidance, comfort and so much more, but when stuff comes up. I seem to forget all that.
When I was a child and first heard the stories of the Israelites being delivered from Egypt, going through the Red Sea on dry ground, and being provided for in so many miraculous ways but then crying out to God wondering where He was, and asking to go back to Egypt; I didn't get it. I thought they were short-sighted and ungrateful.
Turns out they were just human.
Turns out I am too.
I guess the Apostle Paul was like that too. In Romans 7:15 he says,
I do not understand the things I do. I do not do what...
Have you ever been triggered by something or someone? That’s where you feel like you had an emotional reaction that was not healthy. Maybe it was an overreaction, or maybe you clammed up, but either way, you know you were not walking in God’s best plan for your response.
Triggering is angsty. It’s not God’s way but is often more our norm when storms come up in our life.
Triggering hurts us and hurts those around us.
We’re all human so we’ve all built neuro pathways for how we react when certain events happen. It’s like they prompt us to be angry, or aggressive, or maybe we swing the other way and feel depressed, sullen, or hopeless.
Either way, we feel stuck.
We know we don’t want to respond in that way. We hope there is a kingdom way, a healing possible, but we aren’t sure what to do next.
Feeling hurt, misunderstood, confused or angry, and frustrated doesn’t have to be our norm!
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