3 Steps to Navigating Negative Emotions: Processing Series
Life has storms - external and internal. Negative emotions are never fun, but they are important. They are like a gauge on your life dashboard alerting you to pay attention to something. Good coaching can assist with learning how to manage and mine them.
Here are some options that may help you or someone you are working with.
- Name the feeling. This is so valuable! Some times there is a general sense of malaise and starting with naming it can help you with addressing it well. Chip Dodd's book "The Voice of the heart" and his free emotional resource materials can help, but simply taking the time to identify what your gauge is saying is helpful. Are you sad, angry, lonely, fearful, hurt or something else? (This is the R- recognize part of the Coaching ROAD)
- Consider your options. It could be anything from counseling to a distracation to a release. Talking to someone usually helps reveal the next step, when you hear yourself or someone say something like, "What is need is a good cry" it's a clue, or at the very least worth a try. Helpful options I have seen work in no specific order.
- Watch a funny movie - this gets you out of your world for a bit and gives your heart and brain a break. Laughing is good for your spirit.
- Watch a sad movie - crying is a release and can be prompted by a tragic or moving story line.
- Take a walk - getting out in nature can be a healing act.
- Exercise - moving your body releases helpful endorfins.
- Journal - having to choose words helps clarify what is going on and can be a healthy and insightful release.
- Listen to soul fueling music - maybe worship music - can lift your spirit.
- Look for an anchor scripture - ask God for a word for the season or situation you are in. He loves to engage with us more than we realize.
- Take a bath - having warm sensations in your body can help elevate your mindset. Other ways to awaken your senses are good as well - maybe a scented candle, or a super soft blanket can bring soothing.
- Eat a good meal and/or take a long nap - sometimes our mood is simply affected by caring for our body's needs.
- Talk it out - maybe a good friend, coach, or counselor could bring insight.
- Pray - releasing what is on your heart to God (maybe over and over) can help you move forward.
- Look to your history - what has helped you in that past?
- Make a plan. Maybe one or more of these could be helpful, but they won't serve you unless you actually do them. Moving from the season you are in to a next chapter can happen, but you will likley need to invest somehow. (This is the O & A in the Coaching ROAD.)
Your heart is yours to care for. I often think of my emotional gauge like the trajectory of a plane. If I am doing well, they plane is going up, if I'm not doing that great I'm heading for a crash. Leveling out, and then rasing my focus upward is completely worth my attention. (D in the Coaching ROAD comes when keep monitoring those gauges.)
How about you? Do you monitor your emotional trajectory? What helps when you need to level or raise your "plane"?
Helping someone lift their trajectory can be one of the most precious coaching gifts you can give. How adept do you feel about helping others with their trajectory when it needs a lift?