Aren't we supposed to just tell people what to do?
There IS a place for telling! Telling comes first. We all tell the children in our lives not to cross the street without looking. We would not let them learn from their own mistakes there. But as they grow we move from telling to teaching.
Telling > Teaching
We teach them how to feed themselves. We teach them to bathe and dress themselves, etc. Eventually, we teach them how to make quality decisions with friendships, future goals, and the like. Then we move to training.
Telling > Teaching > Training
Training looks like explaining how something works and then letting them learn by doing. "Here's how to wash the dishes." And then they get to give it a go. Teaching turns to training in the "doing" phase. "Here's how to manage your money" etc. Then comes trusting.
Telling > Teaching > Training > Trusting
Every parent of an adult child has had to practice this. You launch them off to college or their first home...
Chapter 2 of Philippians starts with a list of questions.
Does your life in Christ give you strength? Does his love comfort you? Do we share together in the spirit? Do you have mercy and kindness?
This verse always makes me pause and think. Does my life in Christ give me strength? In all honesty, sometimes I don't feel strong. I feel like I am not up to all that is on my plate or on my mind...
Then I look at the comfort question - I'm challenged there too. I'm one of those people who doesn't spend too much time thinking about how I feel, but then I spiral into overwhelm because I didn't read the warning signs...
What Paul could have done was just make statements. That would have gone something like this:
You should be strong because life in Christ gives you what you need. You should feel comfort and share in the Spirit, as well as have experience receiving and giving mercy and kindness.
I'm quite sure that if that verse was presented like that I would not pause...
Jesus loved to ask questions. He often replied to questions with questions or used questions to teach.
Questions get people thinking.
Let's take a look at just one chapter of the Bible and see how Jesus used this tool.
Luke 20 finds Jesus in the temple teaching.
In Luke 20:3 Jesus is answering a question about where His authority comes from and He says, "I will also ask you a question. Tell me: When John baptized people, was that authority from God or just from other people?"
Jesus could have simply answered the question. He could have said, "My authority comes from God, who is my Father. He and I are one with the Holy Spirit."
Why do you think He didn't just say it clearly like that?
He goes on to tell a story of a vineyard owner and his son.
(Side note: Jesus often told stories and then just walked away - I would have probably taken great pains to explain the story and make sure the listeners "got it". Do you think He just trusted the Holy Spirit to reveal...
The focus of this blog is usually to bring a reminder or value add regarding coaching culture in real life. We try to share from different perspectives how coaching can be used in different arenas.
Today's post will be different. (If you have already taken coach training, could I ask that you forward this to someone who would benefit?)
This post is time-sensitive since our next coaching cohort registration closes soon! I feel compelled to share a little about what coach training actually is - who would be interested, what is included, what you can expect, how much it costs, and most importantly the timing involved.
You! If you want to learn more about growing in your faith journey and helping others to grow in theirs, coach training could be your best next step. If you have relationships in your life where you would like to have more significant conversations, coach training will give you tools to upgrade your connections.
Letter 4 in our Working Genius journey is G.
In case you missed the first three they were W - Wonder, I - Invention, D - Discernment, and now we have G for Galvanizing.
Patrick Lencioni defines it as, "The natural gift of rallying, inspiring and organizing others to take action." Honestly, without good galvanizing, a project will most likely tank.
Galvanizing is one of my frustrations. I really stink at it actually. It feels "un-coachy" like I would be telling people what to do.
It's not like that at all though.
Lencioni says every job is a 6 letter job. And every coaching session is a 6 letter journey!
Galvanizers are like fuel. They come in right on cue. First, an idea is posed. "What if...? Then, comes "How about...?" where the plan options are considered. Discernment is when the choice is made. It says, "What do you think?" and then finally we get some movement with, "Okay, let's do this!"
Galvanizing makes the difference between lagging energy and...
I've been following Patrick Lencioni for years so when he came out with the Working Genius assessment in 2020 and said it was his "magnum opus", I paid attention. (If you don't know of him he literally wrote the book - actually a series of books - on business leadership and teamwork. His books have changed my life and the lives of many!
His newest work, Working Genius, is an assessment tool that helps people identify their God-given design. As people learn what makes them tick they can find their best placement on any team. A wise leader has people placed where they fit best and do what they love.
Working Genius actually breaks down the process of any project into 6 categories. Lencioni says, "Every job is a 6 letter job." And then the premise of Working Genius is that each person has two letters that are their "genius", defined as something they love to do and do easily and without effort. Then there are two letters that are competences, you can do them,...
We've been talking about coaching and the biblical model for growth.
We started with how God wants to interact with people directly.
Next we talked about adult learning, "Aha" moments and discipleship.
And finally, today, we will focus on how God made each of us differently.
We are really big on this at Bridges, we even have an entire course on discovering your Destiny by Design!
1 Corinthians 12 is one place we see God sharing about our individual design.
4 There are different kinds of gifts, but they are all from the same Spirit. 5 There are different ways to serve but the same Lord to serve. 6 And there are different ways that God works through people but the same God. God works in all of us in everything we do.
There are many more places in the Bible that talk about our individuality. Some of us are more evangelistic and some are more inclined to teach or to serve. Later in 1 Corinthians 12 people are compared...
A pastor friend of mine recently told me that a mentor of his mentioned that he wasn't even sure coaching was biblical. I actually understand that question.
Many people, pastors even, don't really know what coaching is.
And if I'm completely honest, I really wish there was a different word than coaching for that very reason. It gets confusing. Many people think coaching is telling others what to do in a kind, but direct, way. Coaching, as we align with at Bridges, is quite different.
(If you aren't sure how to define coaching please click here and maybe even here before reading on...)
Coaches help people learn to discern what God is prompting them to think and do. It's much easier to weigh in and tell people what you think they should do. Maybe you have been through a similar situation and you feel you should just spare them the difficulty and give them your solution.
But what if...
What if God has a different plan for their journey?
Of course, there...
When coaching a client or a friend, it's important that the person being coached chooses the focus. They decide what goal they want to move forward toward and what their next steps will be.
Not so with business.
Well, not completely anyway.
Gone are the days when the "boss" tells people what to do and how to do it. No one wants to work there, but at times I have seen the pendulum swing completely the other way.
In some circles, there is a lack of clarity on how goals should be set and who should be setting them. Some leaders simply leave the work to the workers and "respect" what they choose to focus on. This is not coaching. Some would even call it distancing, or even neglect.
ENTER Patrick Lencioni and The Advantage.
The concepts he promotes in this book are over-arching if you are a leader of anything really, maybe even just your own home or your own life. He proposes every leadership team take time to make a list of their core objectives. For a business that could...
People have stuff!
How you handle it makes all the difference!
Do you feel like you need to have answers for people?
Or maybe you actually do have answers but they don't seem to be listening.
Here are 10 reasons coaching works better than telling!
10) You don’t have to know everything for everyone.
Leaders who tell have to know what’s best for every situation and for each person to be effective. That’s a lot of stuff to know! (And what if you aren’t right?)
9) People love it when you focus on them.
Active listening is the highest form of loving someone. When the focus is on the other person there is a lot less pressure on the coach to solve issues. It is way easier to be curious, trust the Holy Spirit, and listen than to have to diagnose and prescribe.
8) Relationship trumps regimen every time.
God designed us to be in relationship with Him and others. When we reduce leadership to telling people what to do, we can easily “cookie...
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