2 Essentials For A Growth Mindset (okay - maybe 3) [Part 1]
A growth mindset does not come naturally for most, maybe even all, of us. Let me explain.
What comes naturally is excuses or blame. When faced with adversity, the common go-to is to reason is that we got the short straw and should be pitied or rescued from what we are facing. It's most common to think things are not supposed to be the way they are.
I don't mean to minimize difficulty, especially when it is traumatic, but the truth is that God always offers a plan. He is the King of making a way out for us. He has provided what we need to move forward.
A growth mindset, by definition, includes ... (you guessed it) growth. The opposite of growing is being stuck. When we make excuses or blame shift, we are choosing to remain stuck and not move forward.
A growth mindset is not only used for when facing difficulty, but also for any goals God has placed in our journey. A growth mindset requires us to take initiative and move forward to the destiny He has for us. Sometimes that destiny is healing or transforming our mindset somehow, but other times it is having the courage or clarity to move toward a goal He has placed in our hearts.
So, what are the 2 - 3 essentials? I'm glad you asked.
#1 - Humility
Realizing we need to grow sounds easy, but pride keeps us from being willing to embrace our humanness. It's silly, really, but we all do it. We tend to think we don't need to grow. We excuse our behavior and measure ourselves by our intentions, but measure others by their actions.
Humility welcomes our humanity and chooses to see - really see - our personal weaknesses as opportunities to grow. Humility embraces a recognition of our unique weaknesses and invests in learning what is needed to guard against a lapse into excuse or blame.
A personal example could help. I know that I am strong in strategy and execution, but I also have learned that I have some weaknesses that need attention. They can not be simply acknowledged in a one-off humility "event", they must be tended to - like weeds - they keep cropping up in my garden.
Here are a few that I need to watch for:
*Pushing too hard - once a goal is set, I tend to work endlessly to complete it. Most personal deficits are a good value that goes too far.
> I have needed to set work boundaries to keep me from investing too much time into projects and missing out on personal life. I'm pretty good at this now.
> I am still learning to ask quality questions along the way through a project. It's better to quit partway in and recognize the over-investment, or misdirection, earlier on than to complete it and realize you should have called it earlier.
*Working solo - just because I am a solopreneur does not mean I don't need others' input. I don't avoid this because I don't think I could benefit, but rather because I don't want to bother people. Again, a healthy mindset of not wanting to take someone's time gets pushed too far to not requesting counsel.
> I am actively fighting against the lie that "I am a bother", but asking directly if it is okay if I ask for someone's input. I'm doing better at this, but it does not come naturally to ask for help. (I know, I know, I love giving assistance and feel it is an honor if someone asks for advice or coaching, so why do I feel like I am a weight when I do it?)
> I have intentionally set up connections with others as I move along on my journey. My dear husband, Eric, is my regular go-to in helping me discern where to put my focus. Sarah and Michelle walk with me in my Bridges Coaching work. I partner with Eric Peoples as I invest in Legacy Church and the Legacy network.
*Feeling behind - I have a compulsion to make a difference in the world by some sort of significant investment in the kingdom. (I hate even disclosing this as it seems self-focused.) I truly want to be all God has for me to be, but if I am truly honest, I regularly feel like I am not doing enough or like I am meant for more, but I am not sure exactly what that "more" is. Again, the desire for significant investment is not necessarily bad, but when it drives me to distraction, it is not benefiting anyone...
> I am learning to live in the moment. I have a natural tendency to plan toward the future, and that can be a great asset, but it can hurt me and others if I miss out on the joy of what is happening right now. I am practicing gratitude and contentment in more meaningful ways, and it is helping me to release the pressure of feeling like I am missing something.
> I am open to adjustment. I want to do what God has for me to do, and that involves so much more than achieving a large goal or completing a big project. I am learning to listen to my heart and discern the Holy Spirit's promptings more and more. Good Coaching helps in this venture.
This blog got longer than I intended (and more personal than I thought it would) so we'll hit the next essentials next time.
#2 - Intentionality (We'll hit this one next time, but I didn't want to leave you hanging)
#3 - Might be the most important of all. (Watch for part 3)
Good Coaching and good Coach Training make a difference in how you approach your own life mindset and choices, and how you can walk with others as well!