If I'm Honest - I Didn't Get It At First...
If I’m honest, I totally didn’t get it.
I mean, I really didn’t get it.
I was way too busy to prioritize this right now. My leadership skills were fine for the time being. The Holy Spirit will lead me to say what I should say. This was like, thing No. 5 on my priority list. It’s just going to need to wait. Too busy.
Then I got it. And boy, oh boy, was I wrong.
Bridges coaching changed my life.
That’s a serious sentence that I just wrote. I understand that sentence carries a lot of weight. And I completely stand by what I wrote.
Bridges coaching changed my life because I simply gave it a chance.
It didn’t take long for me to realize that the coaching paradigm allowed me to be a better husband, a better dad, and a better church leader.
As a husband and dad, I considered myself a pretty good listener, but what I learned in coaching, was I could be an even better husband by being an active listener by truly being invested and asking questions. A true investment in my marriage.
Being an active listener is truly one of the most compelling ways to love someone.
It completely puts the focus on the person sharing — that’s caring. As an enneagram 8 and self-described fixer, it totally removed the need for ME to solve an issue. I quietly listened and asked the Holy Spirit to direct me what to ask next.
Becoming an active listener allowed me to become more curious and strategic in my question-asking instead of problem-solving something that I didn’t need to solve. It helped me move in my personal life from a fixing prescriber to an authentic listener.
It takes more faith listening to the Holy Spirit to guide you in asking compelling questions than it is to answer and give advice for someone else.
As a ministry leader, I truly believe in the power of solving problems. What better way to empower your direct reports to solve problems than the coaching paradigm?
Leading and raising leaders is about personal growth and giving someone the power to do something. Telling people what I think they should do to solve a problem can be a major mistake in leadership. Encouraging a direct report to connect with God for their own next steps is where growth happens.
Even if we’re correct in what we’re telling the direct report to do, it can create a crutch moving forward. I want to empower a path to solutions through the Holy Spirit, not a path to Dustin Leed.
If you want people to need you, keep telling them what to do.
But I learned there is power in instead of telling people what to do, teaching them how to discern for themselves.
Simply by asking questions.
What if you could learn to ask questions that would help people actually enjoy taking responsibility for their own life?
Coaching freed me from being a fixer through figuring out problems for others. I moved from needing to provide answers to define someone else’s future.
If you want to grow as a person, empower an achieving direct report, or make a faith-filled disciple, you should walk with them as they learn to discern God’s voice through compelling questions.
Give Bridges Coaching a shot. It could change your life.
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Editor's Note: Dustin Leed is the Marketing Director at Bridges Coaching and pastor at Worship Center. He lives in Lancaster County, Pa. with his wife Kristyn and son Judah.