Decisions Come From One of Two Places
In our journey of coaching people better by knowing their Myers-Briggs makeup our third letters are T & F, for Thinking and Feeling. (First, we had I/E for Introversion and Extroversion and then N/S for INtuitive and Sensor,)
Do you know your letters?
I'm an INTJ - Introverted INtuitive Thinker and Judger (more on the 4th letters next time). My husband is ENFJ, so I know a lot about the other letters since we differ on almost all of them.
Let's talk about T & F. Thinking and Feeling refers to how we make our decisions. Thinkers make decisions from logic. I used to think Feelers made their decisions from emotion and that bothered me because emotions can change, but turns out I was wrong. Feelers make their decisions based on values. Let me explain.
Thinkers look at the facts. They calculate efficiency and cost for effect while factoring in variables to come up with what they feel is the best (most logical) option.
Feelers look at the values. They consider who will be affected and how while factoring in variables that consider personal potential effects to come up with what they feel is the best (most gracious) option.
So which one is best or right? The answer is Yes! They are both valuable, but different perspectives are used to come up with solutions. When coaching a thinker or a feeler helping them talk through their own viewpoints as well as consider the other perspective can be valuable.
More than a few times my thinking choices have hurt people and I feel awful I didn't take that into account better. On the other hand, I have seen feelers avoid important conversations or decisions so as not to offend or cause difficulty for someone, and in the end that is hurtful as well.
When coaching, or even when being coached, looking at both facts and values, thinking and feeling can be helpful.
Try some of these questions:
- How will you decide?
- What factors need to be taken into account?
- What costs will there be - both tangible and intangible?
- What happens if you put this off or move too soon?
- Who will be affected and how?
It would be wise to know your own design. If you are a thinker, make sure you have some values questions in your tool belt and if you are a feeler make sure you use some logic questions as well.
If you aren't sure of your letters, your divine design, we'd love to help. Check out our Destiny by Design course. Or learn to ask insightful empowering questions that help people discern God's plans for their lives in our Coaching Culture course.
Whether you are a thinker or a feeler, or the person you are working with is a thinker or a feeler, coaching is designed to help people discern what God has for them!