What On Earth Are You Doing? (For Heavens' Sake?)
I was reading the parable of the talents recently - you know the one where the guy decides simply to hide what he was given since he knows the Master is exacting. It hit me differently this time. The Master did not give clear instructions; he just said to do something with what they were given.
So, the question may not be "What should I do?" but "What have I been given to do something with?" Food for thought about choices!
Perhaps we/I make too big a deal about hearing from the Holy Spirit to discern next steps?
Is it fear that I didn't hear clearly that holds me back?
What if God simply wants me to do something with what I have been given?
This begs the question - what have I been given?
Here are some thoughts I came up with - we have all been given certain personality traits, interests, strengths (and weaknesses), relationships, resources, intellectual capabilities, emotional awareness, and more.
And now I have choices. I can wait for a "sign" to do something, I can try thi...
Two SIMPLE Phrases That Flip The Conversation To A Coaching Mindset
There is a skill set to coaching, to be sure, but more than a skill set, coaching is a mindset.
More than following a formula, coaching* has to do with a heart posture that believes God's Spirit endwells people and is guiding each of us on our own unique journey. A good coach is a thinking partner who offers a safe space to process your pathway out loud. They are cheerleaders and sometimes mirror holders. They believe in your ability to work through whatever life has thrown at you, to do new things, to work through obstacles, and to follow through when the going gets tough.
Two super simple phrases that can be a game-changer in a coaching session or a conversation.
1) Tell me more.
Tell me more - offers the person replying to go anywhere they want to go in what they share next. In fact, they may not even know until they keep talking what they need to "get out" there to discuss.
Proverbs 20:5 says, "People’s thoughts can be like a deep well, but someone with understanding can f...
Maybe We Are Asking The Wrong Question(s)
When "stuff" happens, the go-to question for most of us is typical. "Why?"
Why did "that" happen?
Why did someone pass early? Why did that tragedy happen? Why did I lose my job? Why can't I meet someone? Why am I misunderstood?
WHY IS THIS HAPPENING!?
Job was never given a clear understanding of why he was dealt such a bad hand. Can you imagine? All your children die in one fell swoop? Your businesses fail, your stock investments tank, you are in utter familial and financial devastation, and then... then you trun up with horrid boils all over your body?
Just yuck.
Job spent some time asking some questions, and then God showed up and started asking some questions of His own. Turns out God doesn't report to us. He's not American and has His own definition of fair.
He is God, we are not. And yet He allows, even invites, us to interact with Him. To pour out our hearts. The psalms are full of this kind of dialogue.
God wants to hear from us, but He does not "report" to us. We c...
Coaching Questions to take Everyday Conversations to a Next Level
You know those regular greetings we have where you say something like, "Hey, how ya' doing?" Maybe you really want to know, but more likely you just want to say more than a simple "Hi".
Or how about the classic, "How was your day?" that you ask a spouse, or child, a friend, or family member. It's usually met with another classic, "Fine, and yours?"
Let's take some coaching concepts and build a list of questions that could take our conversations deeper, helping us to know each other more and strengthen our conversations and our relationships.
Think of a few relationships you would like to go a little deeper. Which of the following questions could work for you in different scenarios?
- Tell me about your day - what was funny or sad or weird?
- What was hard for you today?
- What was the best thing that happened today, or on vacation, or over the weekend, or ?.
- Who is someone that inspires you?
- Where did you see God at work today?
- What is something you are praying for?
- What is a ...
Just Delete This If...
I kind of hate it when I get emails that say things like, "last chance" when you know they will offer "it" again, or when they say "only X spots left" when you know they would open up space for as many people as signed up.
We lean away from that kind of marketing at Bridges, but I do feel compelled to let you all know where we stand when a cohort is about to launch so:
DELETE THIS EMAIL if:
- You have already taken Bridges Coach training and are not interested in this cohort, but please stay on the list, I promise we will get back to our regularly scheduled coaching culture prompts after this email. (Feel free to consider who you know that might benefit from coach training and chat with them.)
- You have prayed about Bridges Coach training and now is not the right time for you.
If you are still reading here's a few things that could help with your decision.
1- Registraion for this fall's cohort closes Sunday, Aug 31.
2- This is the last time the course will be at this price po...
Three Kinds of Readers - and CTA's for all Three!
There are basically 3 kinds of people reading the Bridges blogs, and we have a CTA (call to action) for each kind.
1) Those who have taken Bridges Coach Training and want to stay in the groove and be reminded of ways to keep a coaching mindset in the forefront of their interactions. (They get that Coaching IS discipleship, in that its primary tenet is to help people learn to discern God's voice and have the courage to follow - NOT solving their problems for them or telling them what to do.)
If you have already taken coach training - can I ask you to open the link below and post it on your preferred social media and share a line or two about what coaching has meant to you and how you have used it?
Why Coach Training Isn't Just For Potential Professionals
2) Those who are thinking about taking Coach Training but may not be sure of the timing. Can I propose that you ask yourself some of these questions to help discern your decision:
- Can you name what is holding you back? If it's a ...
Meet Michelle: Using Coaching in 3 arenas!
Meet Michelle! Michelle hails from Diamond Bar, CA, doesn't that seem wonderful! She's been a part of Bridges for over a decade now and facilitates our Next Level Coach training. I love what she shared about coach training!
What's Changed? (Think of last year this time.)
People don't often stumble into change.
Goals are rarely met without a plan.
"Situations" usually need attention to be resolved.
THIS IS WHERE COACHING COMES IN!
Whether you are the one who needs forward movement OR you want to truly help others on their journey, coaching and/or coach training is likely just what you need.
Personally, we've all been there - excuses, blame, or minimizing lead our thinking patterns regarding any particular area, and we just don't do anything. Maybe we wouldn't even define it as being "stuck", maybe we don't like that word, or we haven't even thought about being intentional in a certain area. We just carry on with our lives as usual.
Maybe you have family members, co-workers or friends that either talk about a certain area all the time, but aren't doing anything about it, or they avoid a certain area, and you wish they would talk about it and do something.
Coach training helps will ALL of these arenas!
You can be a conduit for change!
Next c...
This 3 Minute - 6 Question Quiz WILL Help!
Give yourself 1-5 points as directed for each line.
-I have a desire to help those around me move forward in their faith. [1= not really, 5= very much so]
-There are a couple of people in my life who keep talking to me about the same things over and over. [1= not a thing for me, 3= once in a while, 5= there are people I avoid for this reason]
-It seems like people want me to fix their problems or at least tell them what to do. [1= no one around me has stuff they are dearling with 5= There is so much stuff!]
-My schedule has plenty of margin. [1= I have time on my hands 5= It seems like there are more things I would like to do than I have time for.]
-I ask people insightful questions that consistently move them toward "Aha" moments. [1= I'm not sure 5= I wish I felt sure]
-i regularly care for people without carrying the weight of what they are going through. [1= It seems at times I care more for them than they care for themselves 5= Is that even possible?]
Tally your score and h...
Okay - Third Essential for a Growth Mindset
We've been looking at the 2, maybe 3, essentials for a Growth Mindset.
Without #1 - humility - we will have a hard time being willing to acknowledge there is something we need to focus on.
Without #2 - intentionality - we acknowledge the problem or the goal, but we haven't actually moved the needle. It's like when we say, "You know what I need to __________________ (lose some weight or insert other Aha moment here)" or "I guess I do have a problem with __________________ (anger, insecurity, addiction, or whatever)" or "If I don't start, I'll never ______________ write that book build that thing, find a spouse, get that degree."
You can't address something you can't name.
But perhaps, before it all, or maybe during it all, the greatest essential for a growth mindset is HOPE!
Without #3 - Hope - it's like trying to drive a car with no fuel. Hope fuels our preferred future. Hope helps us see what could be. Hope changes everything.
Without hope, humility is just a sad recognition o...