"How Will You Know?" [Pendulum Perspective]
In this series, we'll explore the Pendulum Process, where we examine different aspects of life through a pendulum perspective. We will explore how to discuss both sides of a focus, define the edges, and help people discern what's next.
So there I was coaching a young go-getter who had ANOTHER great idea.
This guy was a genius. Full of passion. Devoted to God, his family, and furthering the kingdom! He's the real deal. I'm not sure exactly what God has for him, but I definitely feel honored to know him and to walk with him in this season of his life.
So, what's the problem? Glad you asked.
This wasn't Joe*'s first great idea. He is one of those people who is loaded with great ideas. You know the kind. It can seem they have a different plan every time you talk to them. And all of them are viable. Some of them actually move on, but often they bite off more than they can chew.
I didn't serve Joe well the day he proposed this particular idea. Instead, I listened and partnered with him as he moved forward. Later, I wondered if we should have lingered there in the initial focus phase of his coaching. What if I had asked:
"How will you know this plan is good?"
What if I had partnered with him using the pendulum process? What if I asked clarifying questions that created awareness in him and kept him from starting yet another thing without discernment? What if I helped him choose the right focus and the right time?
Let's back up a minute. If the Pendulum Perspective is new to you, here it is in a nutshell.
The Pendulum Perspective takes a concept and looks at two differing sides that are both good in their own time, then defines what excesses may look like on both sides. Then it helps you discern what's right/next in the current moment.
Let's take Joe's situation as an example.
Joe sees an idea and seizes the day. It is hard for him to slow down. And it's complicated by the fact that for the most part he is successful at what he does. I admire his faith and his impact.
On the other hand, he has definitely (and by his own admission) moved forward on things before their time while not having completed what he was already focused on.
And then there was Mark*.
Mark is on the other side of the pendulum. He is faithful as the day is long. His word is his bond. You never have to wonder if he will come through. He'll see that things in his purview are accomplished well and on time.
Mark gets a deer-in-the-headlights look on his face though when someone starts a conversation with, "How about if we ...?" He is a self-proclaimed late-adopter and lives his life by the motto: if it's not broke, don't fix it. He's not about to make any spur-of-the-moment decisions, but his Achilles' heel is that he can be closed to change, even when God is initiating it.
So, there we have it. In the extremes, Joe is prone to moving too quickly, and Mark is more likely to miss something God is prompting him toward.
The pendulum would look like this.
Can you see the value of understanding pendulums in coaching?
That's where the question, "How will you know?" comes in. That would have been a quality creating awareness question for Joe! So, rather than helping him move toward something that may have been better left in the dream cloud for now, I could have walked alongside him as he discerned.
Other questions that could be helpful for people like Joe:
- What will you need to say "no" to in order to say "yes" to this new idea?
- Who will pursuing this focus affect? Are they supportive?
- What would it look like to wait on this and see how you feel about it after a certain time?
How about some questions for Mark as well?
- How will you know if your reticence is fear or wisdom based?
- What would it cost to give the idea a try?
- What could be missed if this idea is not given a chance?
- How could it be morphed into something you would feel more comfortable with?
If people like Joe and Mark can view their decisions with a pendulum perspective, they can learn to discern God's voice more and more.
Good coaching can help!
Remember, coaching makes disciples, not dependents. It's not on the coach to discern, it's on the coach to partner with the person being coached to make a safe place for them to process their nexts.
Good coaching skills are something that are developed. Need Coaching - check out our Associate Coaches. Need Coach training - check out our offerings (video course, life coach training, or leadership coach certification.)
*not his real name