4 Ways Coach Training Has Changed My Life
When I first learned about coaching nearly 20 years ago, I had no idea how much it would affect my personal life, my ministry, my family, and more.
Here are 4 ways understanding coaching culture has made a difference in my life — and why I think it could do the same for yours.
1. The weight of "figuring it out for people" has been lifted
I used to feel like I needed to come up with whatever someone needed the moment they brought me a problem. After all, they came to me for a reason. I felt responsible for a whole range of resolutions — finding provision for a need, weighing in with the "right" answer, sharing a timely nugget from my own study, providing emotional stability, and more.
Now, I help people learn to discern how God is already there for them, whatever they're facing. That shift alone has changed how I carry other people's burdens — and how much lighter I feel doing it.
2. Truly listening while someone processes is a selfless, needed gift
We all probably deal with a bit...
6 Facets Of Truly Caring Conversations
Most of us want to be caring in our conversations, but what does that really mean?
Some conversations are just catch-up conversations. Both people share whatever they like, maybe what they have been up to, their concerns, or plans they are making... they connect simply by visiting with each other.Â
Deeper conversations take a turn when one person chooses to focus on the other. This kind of conversation has 6 possible facets. (For the record, these are coaching conversations. They may not be formal coaching sessions, but they reflect a coaching culture.)
These types of conversations can be between friends and family members; they can be with co-workers or even acquaintances. They can happen intentionally by setting time aside, or on the fly as a connection is made in an airport, checkout line, or over a fence in a yard. Some of my favorites are with grandchildren, but they can also include conversations with aging parents or adult children.
Anytime intentional conversation is chosen...
"Relax Into God's Presence"
The phrase "Relax into God's presence" was coined by Steve Cuss, author of "Managing Leadership Anxiety" and so much more. (Curious, click here.)
His premise is that God always offers us peace if we can still ourselves to receive it.
This thought poses so many coaching questions.
- What keeps us from stilling ourselves to accept God’s peace?
- Are there lies we have come to believe that supersede His peace in our lives?
- Do different people have different thought patterns that keep them from relaxing into God's presence?
- Should good coaching lead us into a place of peace?Â
- Can quality action steps be accompanied by peace?
- Is it possible to have peace in seasons of transition, waiting, or healing?
- Are there times when peace is not what we should be experiencing?
Even a short word study on peace gives us a picture of what could be. We can have peace IN the midst of stuff, not just when everything is resolved. His peace is not what the world gives.Â
That is great news!Â
But it ...
Being Stuck Can Go Both Ways
If you're an active believer, you have probably faced a situation or two that have been just plain hard.
It looks like this – someone shares something they are going through with you, and you listen and care. Maybe you give some advice, maybe you aren’t sure what to do, but you offer a caring heart. They feel seen. You feel like you were there for them.
Then it happens again. It feels a little like déjà vu.
Somehow you see them again, and they share again, and you listen again, but it’s the same stuff. Again, they feel better. They feel seen, and you feel like you were there for them.
When it happens three+ times, you start to wonder -Â am I really helping them, or are they just feeling better in the moment, with no actual change happening?
Maybe you start to avoid them.
Maybe you can’t understand what they really want from you.Â
Maybe you don’t know why they aren’t listening to advice.
Those are the typical responses to conversations that aren’t going anywhere: avoidance, conf...