New book: What If It's Not Black and White? · Out November 17 · Join the launch list →

If there were just a set of rules...

biblical coaching black and white thinking discernment ecclesiastes hearing god pendulum process Oct 15, 2026

If I were in charge of the world, I think I would have made right and wrong a lot clearer. I'd have written a list of rules so we could all know for sure whether we were doing the right thing.

God didn't do that. Not for everything, anyway.

Some things are clearly right and wrong. Murder, adultery and stealing aren't up for discussion, and neither are forgiveness and our need for salvation. Those sit firmly on the outside edges of every pendulum.

But look at how many of Jesus' teachings seem to pull in two directions:

We're told to love our enemies (Matthew 5:44), yet Jesus told His disciples to shake the dust off their feet in towns that rejected them (Matthew 10:14).
We're told to let our good works shine so others see them (Matthew 5:16), and in the very next chapter to do good in secret (Matthew 6:2-4).
We're told not to worry about tomorrow (Matthew 6:25-34), yet the bridesmaids who weren't prepared were left outside (Matthew 25:1-13).

So how are we supposed to know what to do?

Here's what I've come to believe: God left a wide middle on purpose.

If there were just a set of rules, we wouldn't need to talk to Him.

We'd just do the right thing, or not, and live with the results. But God has always been about relationship, all the way back to walking with Adam and Eve in the garden. A rulebook wouldn't need His voice. A pendulum does.

Ecclesiastes 3 says it plainly: "There is a time for everything, and everything on earth has its special season." A time to speak and a time to be silent. A time to hug and a time not to hug. The same choice can be right in one season and wrong in the next.

That's what I've spent the last few years writing about. My new book, What If It's Not Black and White? The Pendulum Process: Define the Extremes, Discuss Both Sides, Discern Where God Has You Now, on track to release November 17. If you'd like to hear the moment it's out, you can join the launch list here.

For this week, try this:

Read Ecclesiastes 3:1-8 slowly. Which line describes the season you're in?
Is there a rule you've made for yourself that has kept you from asking God about a specific situation?
What would it look like to ask Him instead?

The wide middle isn't a loophole. It's an invitation.

If there were just a set of rules...

What If It's Not Black and White?

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