6 Facets Of Truly Caring Conversations
Most of us want to be caring in our conversations, but what does that really mean?
Some conversations are just catch-up conversations. Both people share whatever they like, maybe what they have been up to, their concerns, or plans they are making... they connect simply by visiting with each other.
Deeper conversations take a turn when one person chooses to focus on the other. This kind of conversation has 6 possible facets. (For the record, these are coaching conversations. They may not be formal coaching sessions, but they reflect a coaching culture.)
These types of conversations can be between friends and family members; they can be with co-workers or even acquaintances. They can happen intentionally by setting time aside, or on the fly as a connection is made in an airport, checkout line, or over a fence in a yard. Some of my favorites are with grandchildren, but they can also include conversations with aging parents or adult children.
Anytime intentional conversation is chosen, someone else is served. Jesus' care is shown. When we love others well, we let who He is shine through us.
The 6 facets include:
- Active Listening- this is more than just being quiet while the other person is talking; it means focusing on what is being said with an intensity that is truly other-focused, not simply preparing what you want to say and waiting patiently for your turn.
- Asking Powerful Questions- when done well, these questions invoke silence or a reply like, "That's a good question" and/or "I'm not sure; let me think about that for a minute." These questions take the person somewhere new in their mind. They are not simply investigative research.
- Singular Focus- many conversations ramble and hit many different topics. Quality Coaching Culture helps a person choose one thing at a time to put attention toward.
- Ownership/Agency- every individual can control their responses or reactions. Helping people recognize what they can do is as important as helping them see that they have been avoiding responsibility by blaming others, circumstances, or even God for their current reality.
- SMART goals- supporting someone as they work out their next steps is giving the gift of forward movement.
- Follow through- having ongoing care for someone is remembering their story and what they were intending to do. It's not policing them, as their choices are their own. It's caring enough to ask, and maybe helping them adjust their pace or chalk something up to a good try.
All but #6 can happen in one conversation.
Who could benefit from you leaning into these 6 facets? Your spouse, your children, your parents, your friends, the people you lead in your small group or at work, your neighbors, your co-workers, or even people you regularly see at the gym or in your club?
If you have taken coach training, I hope these 6 facets are a good refresher, and perhaps you know someone who could benefit from our new Coach Training Lite class. Can I ask you to pass on this link to one person in the next two hours? (See how I made that a SMART goal?)
If you haven't taken coach training yet, maybe this is your time!
- Two class time options: or
. Nine 75-minute sessions.
- Includes all the foundational concepts involved in the Certification course; in fact, you can start here on a pathway to certification and even credentialing.
- $347, which includes a professionally printed notebook arriving via Amazon (not one you have to download or print).
- Facilitated learning with discussion, journaling, and experience of group coaching.
- Live but online, so no travel is needed.
Registration closes Sep 30th. Classes start Oct 6 or 8.
Leveling up your relationships comes from leveling up your conversations. Because the conversation is the relationship.