New book: What If It's Not Black and White? · Out November 17 · Join the launch list →

This Is The Way Forward... But Which Way?

biblical coaching black and white thinking discernment hearing god pendulum process Nov 03, 2026

Over the last few weeks we've walked through the first two steps of the Pendulum Process. First, define the extremes: name what "too far" looks like on both sides. Second, discuss both sides: consider what is valuable each way.

Now comes the part most of us want to skip to: discern where God has you now.

I love Isaiah 30:21: "Whether you turn to the right or to the left, your ears will hear a voice behind you, saying, 'This is the way; walk in it.'"

Notice what that verse doesn't say. It doesn't say "always turn right." It assumes that sometimes right is the way and sometimes left is. What makes the difference is the voice.

That's the whole point of the wide middle. God didn't leave it empty so we'd guess. He left it open so we'd listen.

So how do we actually discern? Here are a few things that help me:

Ask. James 1:5 promises that if we lack wisdom, God gives generously when we ask. I sometimes don't stop to ask because I assume I already know.
Check the edges. Is one of the options I'm considering actually over the edge of an extreme? If so, it's not a pendulum question anymore.
Invite the other lean. Talk to someone whose natural tendency is opposite yours. They'll see what you can't.
Notice pressure versus peace. Am I choosing because I'm afraid, or because I sense God's leading?
Take a step and stay open. Discernment is rarely a lightning bolt. Often it's the next faithful step, with an ear still tuned for correction.

I remember times I have done this well, and times I neglected discerning. One I feel really good about is when I was dating Eric and considering marriage. That was the best discerned decision I ever made! But that was a long time ago (44 years, in fact); more recently, I am in a discerning season about next steps for Bridges Coaching. There are ways it could go, but discerning will mean listening for which way it should go.

The word that matters most in the subtitle of my book is the last one: now. Not "where God has you forever," and not "where God had you five years ago." Now.

This week's questions:

Is there a decision in front of you where both options seem defensible?
Have you actually asked God about it, or just argued with yourself?
Who could you talk to whose lean is different from yours?

What If It's Not Black and White? releases November 17, two weeks from today. Join the launch list to be the first to know.

This Is The Way Forward... But Which Way?

What If It's Not Black and White?

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