3 Kinds Of "Stuff" We All Face in Life
At Bridges Coaching, we use the Always Circle as a visual aid for a coaching journey. Good coaching involves three "always" things. Today, we are discussing the first one.
There's always going to be stuff.
And I think I have identified 3 kinds of stuff. Let's take a look.
1) External Stuff
The first kind of stuff is external. It comes from the outside. It is something that happens to us, Things like sickness, accidents, termination, misunderstandings, financial situations... basically any circumstances that come our way.
Dealing with the stuff of life can be difficult. Especially if there is more than one external source that we are facing at the same time. (There is often more than one for most people.)
External stuff is hard. It is not our choice. It is often a surprise. It can be chronic - lasting for lengths of time, or short-lived, but it certainly affects our well-being.
Good coaching helps us name what we are dealing with and focus on our stuff.
What are some things that you have had to face in your life in the past and in the present?
2) Internal Stuff
Then there is the way we deal with our stuff. Sometimes we try to avoid it or even pretend it isn't happening. Or, on the converse, sometimes the stuff is all we can think about. It is overwhelming and debilitating.
We each have our go-to means. Some of us are prone to fear, worry, or anxiety. Others are more likely to get angry, proud, or dominant. Other options include being dismissive, blaming, controlling, or avoiding.
The way we deal with stuff internally affects so much of our lives. It affects our body, soul, and spirit. We usually believe there is a better way, but it is hard to change when the patterns of reaction ruts run deep. We keep doing the same things over and over, hoping this will be the time that things change.
Good Coaching helps us look deeper into how we process what we are dealing with. It helps us look at what we have been doing with the stuff that came to us and then to identify how we want to respond moving forward. It offers identifying lies we have believed that have affected how we process life and interact with others. It helps reveal patterns that have not served us well.
Good Coaching is a safe place for open heart surgery.
3) Potential Stuff
This kind of stuff is in our preferred future. External stuff is associated with our past, Internal stuff is in our present, and our Potential stuff is made up of hopes.
We all of things we dream of - maybe it is a project like writing a book, building something, or even launching a company; or it could be getting to a certain place like getting a degree, or making it into leadership, or attaining a certain level of expertise; or perhaps it could be resolving a relational conflict, overcoming a debilitating mindset or investing in a new lifestyle habit of rest.
Good Coaching looks toward the future. It takes seeds out of the "Dream Cloud" and plants them in fertile soil and tends them so they can grow to fruition.
There's always going to be stuff.
Since that statement is true, there is always another coaching goal to be pursued.
If you are a human, coaching can help you move forward, intentionally focusing on whatever goal you choose to make your next!
Want to try good coaching? We can help.
Want to help others with good coaching? We can help with that too.
Check out our offerings at BridgesCoaching.net!
More on the Always Circle next time!
