Coaching For Everyday Conversations
If you know coaching, you probably know at least some of the basic tenets. In our Coaching culture training, we dig into the pillars of Active Listening and Asking Powerful Questions. This alone is most often an intense culture shift. It's much more common to offer a solution based on our own education or experience than to be present for someone and offer a space for them to talk through their situation.
And yet we all love to be heard.
And most of us prefer not to be told what to do. (Check out the blog on the "instawall".)
In our Life Coach Certification, we give trainees three goals for their first coaching sessions:
1. Ask the person being coached to come with a focus.
2. Ensure the person being coached does most of the talking (80% goal)
3. Complete the coaching with an action step of some sort - even if it is to come back to the next session with a list of possibilities
All these are valuable practices, but not very common.
*Try it! If you are not yet coach-trained, ...
Getting "It" Out
Honestly, I often don't know what IS in there. I’m not sure how God is guiding me. That's the problem.
I don't just coach others. I get coached as well, and lean into the process. !
I'm naturally an introvert, meaning I usually don't need to talk out loud to process what I am thinking or feeling. Healthy awareness always takes intentionality, though, and I have found over the years that when I talk things out, I need to choose words to share what I am pondering. This helps me frame out what is really happening.
The Biblical premise is that God has put HIs Spirit within each of us, and there is an inner compass guiding us more than we usually recognize.
John 10:3b says, "...the sheep listen to the voice of the shepherd. He calls his own sheep by name and leads them out."
People learn to discern between voices when they listen to one over and over. We learn to discern God's voice by listening.
Good coaching helps us hear what He is already saying to us!
Romans 8:14-15 say...
The Best Lies Series - I Can't ________ Like They Can
As we continue in the "Best" Lies series, let's remember that the best lies are ones that have some of the facts correct, but then have one bit of poison in there that will lead you astray!
One way this plays out is when we believe, "It's a fact that I can't __________ like they can." and allow that to affect other parts of our lives.
Here are some examples.
I can't understand people like a counselor can, but I wish I could, and I often feel like I am supposed to.
I can't read emotions like a natural feeler can, and I feel guilty for not being gifted like that.
I can't provide answers for people's stuff, but it feels like if I really cared for people, I would have provide solutions.
Sometimes the things we "can't" are personal. We all have different gifts. My husband has an uncanny memory for faces and often for names as well. I don't, and he amazes me. It's pretty easy to feel like a failure as a minister when I can't remember faces or names like he does.
Another personal "can...
"How Will You Know?" [Pendulum Perspective]
In this series, we'll explore the Pendulum Process, where we examine different aspects of life through a pendulum perspective. We will explore how to discuss both sides of a focus, define the edges, and help people discern what's next.
So there I was coaching a young go-getter who had ANOTHER great idea.
This guy was a genius. Full of passion. Devoted to God, his family, and furthering the kingdom! He's the real deal. I'm not sure exactly what God has for him, but I definitely feel honored to know him and to walk with him in this season of his life.
So, what's the problem? Glad you asked.
This wasn't Joe*'s first great idea. He is one of those people who is loaded with great ideas. You know the kind. It can seem they have a different plan every time you talk to them. And all of them are viable. Some of them actually move on, but often they bite off more than they can chew.
I didn't serve Joe well the day he proposed this particular idea. Instead, I listened and partnered with h...
Three Types of Crises We All Face
As I think about it, I see 3 types of crises in people's lives, and I think we are all in one or more at any given time. Let’s explore.
1) Imposed Crises
This is when "stuff" happens TO us. We live in a world where so many things are not as God intended. A diagnosis changes everything, or a misunderstanding. Accidents fall into this category, and expectations. Somehow, we need to press through. Coaching can help people discern God's plan for comfort, guidance, courage, and patience when a crisis like this comes our way. Coaching helps us connect what God has for our real lives. It helps us create new pathways to experience Him in our lives.
2) Chosen Pursuits
A chosen pursuit is simply that - something we chose rather than having it imposed on us. We choose things like a leadership opportunity that stretches us, a project that requires investment, resolving a relational dilemma, or any other goal we decide to pursue.
Coaching helps us keep it up, adjusting the pace and plan as n...
Two Simple Questions That Could Shape Your Future
As you reflect on the past year and consider the one upcoming, here are two simple questions that could shape your future.
User warning: Keep in mind that God may be speaking to you through your own desires, but also that, as humans, we are all susceptible to wanting things to be comfortable and resolved.
Question #1: What do you want less of in your life?
Right away, a list of things comes to my mind. I'll share a few ideas, but as you answer, try to narrow it down to just a few. (Remember the post about bullet point journaling- I some ideas from there.)
In no particular order, here are some things to want less of: hurry, hurt, obligation, overwhelm, confusion, frustration, anger, self-pity, worry, disconnection, fear, angst, lack, sadness, shame, tiredness, or feeling behind. If you found yourself wondering why I chose a certain word and not another, maybe the word you thought of is a good one for your list.
Okay - reread the list and see if you can narrow it down to three.
Q...
Looking for Unique Wish List & Gift Ideas?
Make this year's exchange memorable!
Here are some meaningful, unique ideas for you to put on your Wish List or to fulfill your Gift List!
Traction Book
This inspiring self-guided workbook can be used by an individual, couple, or team to get "traction" and move forward. (less than $30) Give a gift that makes a difference - or request this book as a way to make this next year purposeful like never before!
Soul Care Retreat
This video course could be the lifeline someone needs. Or maybe your soul could use a little attention?The video, journal prompts, and practical steps bring refreshing to the soul and reconnection to the Spirit. ($67 - BE SURE TO enter the email of the person you are purchasing for so they have access directly!)
For more ideas, check out our
Bridges Coaching product page!
Merry Merry!
3 Vital Questions to Stay On Course [Inspired by Eric Scott's message]
My husband recently shared 3 intriguing questions he highlighted in a message for a staff meeting. They sparked an insightful conversation for us and brought some clarity for where I am at personally.
He was speaking from a passage in 2 Timothy 4:6-8,
6 My life is being given as an offering to God, and the time has come for me to leave this life. 7 I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith. 8 Now, a crown is being held for me—a crown for being right with God. The Lord, the judge who judges rightly, will give the crown to me on that day—not only to me but to all those who have waited with love for him to come again.
Here are the questions Eric posed.
1. Am I in the right race?
A race implies a certain end goal. The question implores us to consider where we are headed. If we can't answer that question, it may even cause us to invest some time in an evaluation of the chapter of life we are in. (Our Destiny by Design course could help with th...
The Surprising Truth About YOUR Personal Kyptonite? [Processing Series]
Even if you are not a Superman fan, you probably know what "kryptonite" is. It's kind of his Achilles heel, he is super strong and all the things, except for when he is exposed to kryptonite.
Each of us has a kyptonite of sorts, something that steals life from us and keeps us from being as "super" as we could be. The surprising truth is that most often the thief of your being at your best is when a strength you have gets pushed too far.
Let me explain.
One of my best strengths is that I am a methodical strategist. I love planning ahead and am more comfortable living in the future rather than the present. This comes in handy as a coach. It is a value add for people I am working with when I help them build step-by-step plans and they build bridges to what could become real in their lives.
The kryptonite part comes in for me personally when I live more in the future than the present.
I'm building several bridges in this season in my life. I'm writing a book, I'm coaching a great ...
How to Halt the Madness of Over-Thinking: Processing Series
Swirling thoughts can be jsut as disruptive as negative emotions. Over-thinking has become a national passtime. We can wonder about ourselves and if we are doing the right thing(s). We can become consumed with what others are thinking about us. We can even obsess about the past and get caught up in "what if" syndrome.
Living in a state of over-concern is taxing not only on our mind, but also takes its toll on our body and on our relationships. Over-thinking robs us of living in the now because we are trying on scenarios for the future and the past instead of enjoying the moments.
Procssing over-thinking can take some mental training, but it is quite possibly one the best investments you can make with your time and energy. The ROI is worth the effort!
Whether you are the one with the over-thinking issue or you are coming alongiside someone in a coaching relationship, here are some steps you can take to help you in the process of taking back control of your thoughts when they get dem...