Did Jesus Use Coaching?
Since we often frame coaching as an approach to discipleship, I sometimes get asked the question: What about teaching?
Of course, straight-up teaching is a form of discipleship. In the famous Great Commission verses, Jesus clearly says, " So go and make followers of all people in the world. Baptize them in the name of the Father and the Son and the Holy Spirit. Teach them to obey everything that I have taught you, and I will be with you always, even until the end of this age.” (Matthew 28:19-20 NCV)
Then we need to ask two questions: What did Jesus teach? And, how did Jesus teach?
Think of the parable of the rich young ruler. He came to Jesus and asked what he needed to do to inherit eternal life. In my opinion, Jesus could have "taught" the man differently than He did. He could have said, "You need to be cautious not to let your possessions define you. You value material possessions too much. You will need to let go of your stuff and lean into faith and trust if you want to be right with God."
A flat-out teaching statement could have been a clear response.
What did Jesus do, though? He asked the man questions, let him draw his own conclusions, and then respond.
Jesus offered an "Aha" moment. He did not respond in that moment the way Jesus opened to him, and Jesus let him go his way. Sometimes that is what happens when we help people grow in their relationship with God. We need to be confident in those moments to let people exercise their free will. God gave that to us, and we need to extend it to others..
Teaching this way takes forethought, but it happens often in Scripture.
There is nothing wrong with straight-up teaching, but it is always best followed by questions with options for personal application. Information alone does not change lives; helping people choose well and walk out their faith in real life is what coaching is all about.
I was with a friend this weekend, and he said he wanted to write a book, "How not to be dumb!" Sometimes it seems so clear to us what others are doing wrong. And our thoughts may be legit, but maybe savvy questions could help someone walk the Jesus way more than flat-out telling them what not to do?
Here are some categories and possible questions that could help someone make better choices.
- Going into huge personal debt just because you don't want to wait and save up for something can be simply foolish or immature.
- What will getting that item now cost you in the long run?
- What character quality could God want to build in you as you wait?
- Premarital sex and living together before marriage have become common in our culture, but are not the Biblical standard.
- If God wants what is best for us, what could waiting to have sex give us that is good?
- What does this lifestyle say about what you are basing your moral choices on?
- How does God guide people in marital decisions?
- Someone is asking us what we would do in their situation. This can be a tricky one if we have strong feelings either way. But the bottom line is that the person making the decision needs to live with the cost and consequences of their choice.
- What is prompting you to consider this choice - what would saying "yes" give you in the end?
- What would it cost you, and others, if you don't do what you are thinking about?
- Would it be wise, or distracting, to talk to others who have made this choice?
Each individual is led differently:
Some people are called to start businesses. They should do what God is calling them to do.
Some people are drawn to meet the needs God presents to them. They should follow the prompts God is giving them.
You get the picture.
The rich young ruler knew he should be doing something differently. I believe that is why he asked Jesus the follow-up question. (Matthew 19:16-22)
Coaching provides a place to process what God is prompting.
Do you provide a place for people to process their decisions? We can offer conversational tools that make that space possible!
Do you need a place to process what’s going on in your own life? Check out the possibilities with our Associate Coaches!
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