Change Happens Two Ways - And Three Ways We Address It
Decision and Imposition. That's how I see it. Put another way, transition happens by choice or by chance.
Let's look at each.
#1 Change can happen when we make choices.
Our decisions lead to transitions. It can be as simple as choosing a different breakfast or as complex as changing careers and moving to a different place.
When we stop making choices to change, we stop growing.
Discipleship is a transformational process that requires shifts. Shifts in thinking and in doing, shifts in how we manage our thoughts and emotions. It is how we process the stuff of life, which brings us to our next thought.
#2 Change can be imposed on us when stuff happens.
The "stuff" can be something we hoped for, like a promotion or a new relationship, but it can also be a difficulty. Maybe an event at work prompts an unwelcome transition. Inflation causes a budget revision. Sickness or injury disrupts our health. Trauma or loss comes at us.
Whatever the stuff is, it disrupts our norm. Something has to change, even though we didn't choose for it to happen.
When you think about it, whether we choose change or something disruptive happens, we ALWAYS have a choice to respond or react.
When we choose to change, it is a response to a prompt to do something different in the hope of a preferred outcome.
We eat differently to lose weight or feel healthier.
We spend differently to control our finances instead of being controlled by them.
We decide to invest in a project or make plans for a new situation.
When stuff happens to us, we still have a choice. I see three options.
Even though whatever happened feels out of our control, we can:
- Choose to trust God and ask Him to be close as we process how best to move forward. I have been both surprised by opportunities I didn't seek out, but also have been blindsided by difficulty that disrupted what I thought was secure.
James 1:2-5 says, "My brothers and sisters, when you have many kinds of troubles, you should be full of joy, because you know that these troubles test your faith, and this will give you patience. Let your patience show itself perfectly in what you do. Then you will be perfect and complete and will have everything you need. But if any of you needs wisdom, you should ask God for it. He is generous to everyone and will give you wisdom without criticizing you."
It's a trying passage, but also one of the most connecting thoughts. The verse says "when", not "if". It promises we will have trouble,s but also that God wants to use them for good!
As I seek Him when stuff happens, I have the opportunity to connect with whatever character or competency level up He is offering.
Or we can
- Blame God for not watching out for us, for allowing whatever happened to happen. This is a normal, but prevalent, human response. I think we've all asked the "Why did that have to happen?" question more than once in our lives.
I hate it when stuff happens. When tragedy or trauma strikes. When motives are misunderstood, relationships are affected. When there's not enough money, or time, or whatever to meet current needs.
While blaming and questioning are normal, they don't help us move forward. If instead we can run to God and ask Him for comfort and guidance, we can partner with Him and use the difficulty as a means of deeper connection with Him and transformation as we continue on our faith journey to be transformed into His likeness.
And finally, we can
- Disengage. It's up to us whether or not we continue our faith journey as active followers or just kind of coast.
It seems Jesus sees this one as the worst option of the three. Revelation 14:16 says, "But because you are lukewarm—neither hot, nor cold—I am ready to spit you out of my mouth."
It's hard to see or admit that when we do nothing, we are actually choosing to disengage.
Oh God, help us to choose wisely, to seek you in our responses to what lies in our path whether by choice or by chance.
Coaching is all about processing decisions. If you need coaching we can help. We offer connections with Associate Coaches or you can walk through the step-by-step inspriational Traction book on your own (or with a coach).
Want to learn the art of helping others connect with choosing change well? Coach training provides the conversational tools you need to empower others rather than feel the weight of their forward movement is on you.