How NOT To Gamble With Your Destiny!
Do you know what an acorn grows up to be?
How about a kitten? Or maybe a tadpole?
Knowing what is “seeded” within you changes everything! And yet, many people don’t know what they are made of, or what they are meant to become.
When we aren’t sure of what’s in us, we run the risk of gambling with God’s intended destiny for our lives.
Psalm 139:13 says God knit us together in our mother’s womb. He’s the one who decided how tall you would be, what color eyes you would have, whether your hair would be curly or straight and so much more.
These external DNA markers make each of us unique, but wait - there’s more.
So much more.
We have an internal DNA that sets us apart from each other even more than how we look.
Our internal DNA consists of things like:
- Personality type
- Motivational gifts
- Strengths and weaknesses
- Five-fold ministry gifting
- 7 Mountains calling
- Personal passions and unique interest arenas
And the list could go on.
Knowing your unique personal design guides ...
3 Common Ministry Mistakes Well-Meaning Leaders Make
We don’t mean to, but it happens...
We set out to help people, but sometimes we end up not being effective at best, and possibly even hurting at worst.
Here are 3 mistakes well-meaning leaders make:
1. We tell people what to do.
In the long run, this approach can backfire one of two ways. One, if we are right, we have taught people they need to come to us in order to move forward. This puts a cap on our leadership potential to however many people we can meet within a day or week. Two, if we are wrong, it’s even worse. They can become bitter toward us or even toward God.
What if instead of telling people what to do we taught them how to discern for themselves?
2. We have the same conversations over and over.
Have you ever seen a person’s name pop up on your phone and had a little groan pop up in your heart? Be honest. Sometimes, we have the same conversations over and over with people who are stuck in some sort of way.
What if you were able to direct conversations that actually ...
What Is Coach Training? Here's How to Make Engaged Disciples
When I got my master’s degree I did these coaching “labs” on the side. Turns out they were optional, but I’m so glad I didn’t know that!
Let me explain.
The coaching “labs” were actually coach training and the education I received through them changed my life!
Coaching does not come naturally to most so when I was going through my coach training I really wanted a few things, so I really got seeped in the paradigm.
- I wanted to be coached, and experience what that felt like. I wanted to see if it really worked.
- I wanted to see others being coached so I could observe it being done well.
- I wanted someone to watch me coach and tell me if I was doing it right or wrong if need be. (To be honest, I was a little nervous about that, but I also wanted the affirmation enough to do it.)
- I wanted to have plenty of time to talk through the concepts with a certified coach and know I was heading in the right direction.
The training I took left me hoping for more.
Then it happened...
I fel...
4 Key Steps to Moving Forward (and they rhyme so they’re easy to remember)
People can get stuck… some get stuck in a mood and feel depressed or just sad, some get stuck in an attitude and feel angry or confused. Others get in a rut and think there is no way out. Still others mess up somehow and believe there is no way to move on.
It’s not new.
Over and over we see Biblical characters getting stuck.
- Noah let his guard down and embarrassed himself and his family.
- Elijah felt alone and depressed right after he was involved in two major miracles.
- David got distracted and totally messed up when he wasn’t focused.
- Thomas doubted.
- Peter denied.
And the list could go on and on…
But thanks be to God – He always offers us a way out!Â
So, whether it’s you yourself that needs an assist out of a pit, or you need tools to offer that assist to someone you are working with, here’s 4 key steps to moving forward.
The first one sounds religious, but hear me out!
Repent – It’s kind of a church word isn’t it. People outside the kingdom probably never use this word...
Build Disciples not Dependents
In the famous Great Commission verse, Jesus challenges his followers to “go and make disciples of all nations” (Matthew 28:19). In its simplest definition, a disciple is a follower of Jesus. So how do we go about making disciples like Jesus asked us?
One way is to follow Paul’s advice in 1 Corinthians 11:1 which says, “And you should imitate me, just as I imitate Christ.” This verse comes right after 1 Corinthians 10 where Paul talks about how to decide whether to eat meat offered to idols or not. Notice he doesn’t say whether people should or shouldn’t but rather he gives guidelines about how to make good decisions.
"Encouraging builds disciples, telling builds dependents."
We don’t really have the option to eat meat sacrificed to idols in our society, but we do have plenty of other decisions to make that may be questionable to some people. Encouraging people to make their own decisions is a great way to make disciples, not dependents.
Disciples look to God to guide their conscien...
Patience, Trust and Belief: 3 Must Haves To Be An Effective Coach
Did you know, true coaches DON’T tell people what to do?
True coaches use active listening and powerful questions to help people engage with God toward the desires He has put in their hearts and the way God is leading them!
True coaching requires patience, trust, and belief.Â
These things take time and don’t come easy. Let's explain.
Patience
Coaching walks with a person while they are learning to hear God’s voice for themselves. It would be much easier for me to just tell them what to do!
BUT woah! What if I am wrong? …. That is a scary thought and dangerous. However, if I am right it can be equally not good, if I am right I am teaching them that they need to go to someone else to hear from God… How sad. God wants to talk to them personally, and I want to get in the middle for expediencies sake?!
Trust
If I am honest, really honest, sometimes I don’t trust the Holy Spirit. I hate even saying that out loud, but that is what happens when I feel like I need to get in the middle a...
Three Ways Coaching Is Like Eating Organic Food!
Talking with a couple coach trainees yesterday got me to thinking about how eating organic food is like coaching.
Here’s some of my thoughts. Organic food by definition is pure. It has no additives or artificial interference. It is slow, you can’t rush it or grow it in a hurry and it has a different constitution than say, fast food.
So, here’s the three ways that Coaching is like eating organic food.
1.Organic food is not what we naturally crave.
I crave a soda and fries… but as I learn to listen to my body better I am finding that those cravings were a mask to what I really wanted and needed.
In my spiritual life I crave someone just telling me what to do. I don’t really want to dig behind the mask to find out what is really needed in my life.
2.You probably can’t get organic food in a drive thru.
I want a quick fix. If I could get a godly answer in a drive thru situation I would wait in line for it. But the waiting God has for me is of a different make up. He wants me to wai...
3 Essential Elements To Being Coachable [Step 2: Build a Plan]
Defining “Coachable” is vital!
In Part 1 of this series we saw that without choosing a focus the coaching conversation (and our lives) are just rambling around with no destination.
Once we know where we are going we need to have a way to get there.
It seems elementary, but just like no one sets out intentionally to not focus, few people choose a focus and then choose not to make a plan.
We all do it though.
We want something that we aren’t really doing anything about.
Which of these are on your list?
- to retire fully funded.
- to eat healthfully.
- to be fit.
- to stay connected with family.
- to make our living environments aesthetically inviting.
- not to be too busy for the important things in life.
The list could go on and on, but it doesn’t need to.
Once we have narrowed down our possibles to one specific next goal, we can take Step 2 and begin the journey. (See the Part 1 post if you need help here.)
There are a lot of O words and Opportunities involved here. (See what ...
3 Essential Elements To Being Coachable [Step 1: Choose A Goal]
Coaching isn’t for the weak. Moving forward isn’t usually easy. It takes clarity, confidence and courage to advance, for both the coach and the coachee.
Let’s break it down. If Coaching = moving from here to there, then a vital element in the coaching conversation starts with the “there”.
If someone isn’t sure where they are heading, they are just roaming.
Roaming means wandering around, or not having a destination. There are two common detriments that distract people from having a focus.
1. Lack of vision. This type of roaming focuses more on circumstances than the change needed to experience release. It comes out as complaining and can disguise itself in the need for empathy and validation while being absent of hope and forward movement. [The 10 spies had this problem! What they saw was real, they just didn’t have the right focus. Or the guy with one talent who did nothing with it…]
Honestly this can happen for me when I am looking at being there for my family more. My parents...
Top Ten Reasons Coaching Works Better Than Telling
Everyone can use the coaching paradigm! Here’s 10 reasons why:
10) You don’t have to know everything for everyone.
Leaders who tell have to know what’s best for every situation and each person in order to be effective. That’s a lot of stuff to know! (And what if you aren’t right?)
9) People love it when you focus on them.
Active listening is highest form of loving someone. When the focus is on the other person there is a lot less pressure on the coach to solve issues. It is way easier to be curious, trust the Holy Spirit and listen than to have to diagnose and prescribe.
8) Relationship trumps regimen every time.
God designed us to be in relationship with Him and others. When we reduce leadership to telling people what to do, we can easily “cookie cutter” people by categorizing them and offering a rules pathway to results rather than connecting relationally to walk through life with them.
7) Anyone can do it.
Tools needed for coaching are a deep trust that the Holy Spirit is ...