Giving The Gift Everyone Wants - Core Competency #5
Coaching Core Competency #5. Maintains Presence.
We all want it but struggle to give it. Presence.
I'm not going to go on a rant about social media. Social media is like sugar - too much and it's not healthy, but you need to decide how much and when you indulge. Granted social media is one of the biggest distractions that keeps us all from giving focused attention, but it is only one of them.
In our Coaching Culture training, we delve into metacognition and take a look at what kinds of self-talk are happening while we are trying to listen. Want to join us? Can you think of a conversation you have had where one or more of these thoughts is going on in your head while the other person is sharing?
- I can't believe they are sharing this with me again... if I have to listen through this all one. more. time...
- I went through the same thing, only worse, shall I share it with them?
- I wonder what we should have for dinner.
- I actually don't "have a minute" right now. How can I ask them to come back later?
- If only they would listen to me, I know exactly what they should do.
- I can't believe they are making such a big deal out of this.
- This is so awful! How can anyone be expected to deal with this?
- What do they want from me? I can't fix this and I don't know what they should do.
Our own thoughts and emotions distract us from truly being there for the other person. In order to shift into a coaching mindset of maintaining presence we need to learn to quiet our own thoughts and responses and listen well.
Proverbs 20:5 says, “People’s thoughts can be like a deep well, but someone with understanding can find the wisdom there.”
Giving someone the gift of presence means preferring them. Honoring their need to share and talk through whatever is on their mind. It allows space for the Holy Spirit to speak to them, or to give you an insightful question.
Remember, God always offers a plan.
Next time someone wants to talk to you, try intentionally maintaining presence. We all love it but it is rare. What a gift you can give!