We may not know exactly what this hunter is shooting at but we’re all pretty sure it is something? He’s likely not just randomly launching arrows into the woods.
While not all men are hunters, and not all hunters are men, in my experience most men do have a target in mind when they are doing just about anything.
Take shopping for example.
Most men want to identify the item that is supposed to be acquired, and then they want to get in, find it, and get out. If however, the “target” is to take a walk and hang out with their wife, then perhaps strolling through the mall would be possible, but God help the woman who stops to look at something on sale. “Are we walking or shopping?” will likely go through the man’s head, if not come out his mouth.
(Disclaimer: don’t email me and tell me you and your spouse are not like this. Results may vary, but a quick google search or research of any kind will tell you that men’s mind’s are more likely to focus on one thing at a time and women’s minds are more likely to multi-focus. Both have value; they're just different.)
A good coaching conversation is more like a man’s mind: focused on a specific target. And the conversation is the hunt for resolution or clarity resulting in action steps to assist the client toward their goal.
A conversation that rambles here and there is more like a female mind. I like to call those conversations “friending”. We aren’t trying to identify or resolve anything, we are just doing life together.
Both genders can friend.
Friends take turns taking, sharing, comparing stories or life experiences.
A coaching conversation is different though. It has a specific, measurable and valuable intended outcome.
Coaching goals could be anything from goal setting toward a preferred future to drilling down on internal angst. Preparing for the journey of a coaching conversation can make all the difference in the quality of the session.
Hebrews 12:1b “...let us strip off every weight that slows us down, especially the sin that so easily trips us up. And let us run with endurance the race God has set before us.”
What’s your race? Where are you headed? What’s the next hurdle? How will you “strip off the weight”? What do you need to run well?
My current personal race took an unexpected couple of turns in the last couple of years and coaching has helped me stay in my lane and discern what God has for me in this season. Proverbs 20:5 says, “People’s thoughts can be like a deep well, but someone with understanding can find the wisdom there.” This is a life verse for me, both in being coached an offering coaching.
As you move forward as a coach or coachee, thinking ahead prior to the session and clarifying where the conversation needs to go changes everything.
Enjoy the journey!
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