4 Savvy Ways To Avoid Those Awkward Holiday Conversations
If thinking about those potentially awkward conversations is angsty for you, these savvy tips could help you feel settled before you go, and even make for valuable connections once you get there!
(And you can use them outside of the holiday as well.)
1) Start with empathy
When someone shares their well-thought-out views on whatever they are adamant about try thinking about what it is like to be in their shoes. They must have reasons for their perspective. Likely there is something under their views, experiences that have shaped their stance.
You have those too - underlying logic and actual experiences.
When yours don’t align with theirs, try being truly curious about how they got there. It doesn’t mean you have to agree, but actual curiosity will lead to empathy.
What if your heart was not to make sure they knew your side, but moreover to make sure they knew you cared about them?
“When you do things, do not let selfishness or pride be your guide. Instead, be humble and give more honor to others than to yourselves. Do not be interested only in your own life, but be interested in the lives of others. Philippians 2:3-4
“People’s thoughts can be like a deep well, but someone with understanding can find the wisdom there.” Proverbs 20:5
It’s easier to talk about than to do, but it’s oh so Jesus!
2) Be cautious not to fuel the fire.
Let’s say the opposite is true. Someone starts sharing their strong stance on something, but you agree with them instead of being more on the other side.
It’s easy to just jump right on their bandwagon with them and add facts to fuel the fire of why that view is the best, right, moral and logical way to go!
Here are two reasons why that may not be the best way to go:
- People get wound up about their stuff - even if you agree, the room is just getting heated and there’s likely nowhere for all that energy to go.
- It may be that not everyone in earshot feels the same way. Whether they chime in or not, they may be fuming on the inside and feel all the feels of being unseen, unheard, disrespected. Silence does not necessarily mean affirmation.
“...wise people calm anger down.” Proverbs 29:8b
3) Consider a strong, and humorous, redirect.
In this scenario, someone brings up one of the hot button topics of our time and you can feel the pressure rising in the room. Will people agree, or disagree? Are we all on the same page or not?
Instead of worrying about these questions, ask yourself if this is really where the group should go in the conversation. Whether you are the host or not, you can pose a question as a response in a humorous but strong way. That would sound like, “Woah, that’s a weighty topic - How 'bout the Packers? or maybe we should try a conversation starter. What was the most fun thing you did in this last year?”
4) Preplan some conversation starters.
The best way to avoid awkward conversations is to pre-empt them with directed topics. These work best if everyone gets a chance to share.
Here are a few ideas:
- What was your favorite day off thing to do this last year?
- What is a hope you have for your retirement? (or for kids - what do you think you might want to do for work when you are older?)
- If you could own one very expensive thing what would it be?
- Who are you especially grateful for this last year?
- How has God met you recently?
- What are some of your favorite holiday traditions?
- Share a best memory of thanksgiving when you were a child.
- What decorations do you love most for Christmas?
Wherever you go for the holidays and whoever you are with, make a plan to be a blessing and carry the wonder of Jesus’ love wherever you are.
“Our offering to God is this: We are the sweet smell of Christ among those who are being saved and among those who are being lost.” 2 Corinthians 2:15
Hope these tips help as you spread the sweet smell of Christ this holiday season!
Building Bridges,
Cindy
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