What first comes to your mind when you think of failure?

Here are some initial ideas: unkind words, poor behavior, missed deadlines, and loss of trust.

Perhaps some lesser-recognized failures could be: unreceived forgiveness, unrealized potential, procrastination, and stagnation.

My heart is heavy just thinking of categories. There is so much pain and loss in this world. 

But take heart friends, there is NOTHING God cannot redeem. He truly wants to meet us right where we are and walk with us toward our best next step.

We are in good company. Let's take a look at a few Biblical characters who walked through some difficult situations, failures even, and moved on to redeemed situations. 

Moses took matters into his own hands and tried to become who God wanted him to be his own way. He was too early and he was out of line. He even murdered a man. And yet, he allowed God to process his heart and he was still asked to be the deliverer God had planned for him to be - in...

If you take Coach Training with Bridges you will learn about Active Listening and Asking Powerful Questions. We'll talk through defining someone's focus and teach you how to assist with making SMART goals- quality action steps, but we hope that the BIGGEST TAKEAWAY for all our trainees is our definition of success. Put simply:

Success is an active relationship with God. 

Completing an accomplishment is great. Good Coaching certainly helps people with forward movement, but as believers achieving goals cannot be our primary motivation. Our worth is not in whether or not we get "there" or get "that" done in our lifetime, our worth comes from our adoption into the family of God. It comes from our connection with a settled place with our Father in eternity.

At Bridges Coaching when an action step does not result in the desired outcome we say, "'Failure' is good research." But true "failure" is not having a soul connection with God. His Spirit is in us longing for...

Time for a quick review. We've been working through the StoryBrand framework and comparing it to a conversation. 

First, we talked about how our lives ARE a story in the making.

Then about who the story is about, and the importance of naming the problem.

Next, they meet a guide who understands their fears and offers a plan!

Today, we'll move on to how to make quality Action Steps.

Once we have decided where we want to get to and we resolve that God always offers a plan, our next step is to walk out what we have discerned. And, I wish it was that easy...

In my experience, discerning well takes years of experience. I have missed the mark in several ways. I have jumped the gun on action steps as well as waited too long. There were times I thought I knew what to do, only to find out it didn't work. I have made emotional decisions that didn't engage with the reality...

The chatty and thinkers - both benefit from good coaching. 

In this series, we are going through the differentiators in Myers-Briggs and talking through each type of indicator. Whether you coach in actual sessions or use coaching culture in your regular conversations, these tips can help! Our focus in this blog is Introversion and Extroversion.

Let's begin with definitions, basically, introverts think inside their head. They prefer to process quietly on their own and have likely thought through what they are about to say when they speak. Extroverts, on the other hand, think best while speaking. 

Neither is a better way. Both have different assets. All benefit from coaching and here's how.

Introverts being coached should find a safe space to process. When introverts have to choose words to explain what they are thinking and feeling it helps them to identify more clearly what is happening. Being an introvert myself I have experienced this many times. I ask someone...

Wouldn't you just love it if you could see someone who would just tell you what to do when you were in a jam? If they were sage and savvy and could come through every time it would be well worth the investment.

GOOD NEWS! (and hard news...)

Here's the skinny. We DO have Someone we can go to for the plan! Our plan! Our personal best next steps!

The Holy Spirit IS our Guide! The coaching conversation helps us discern the plan God has for us. Proverbs 4:11 says, "I am guiding you in the way of wisdom, and I am leading you on the right path."

Experience tells us it is not that easy though. So the good news is we DO have a Divine Guide, the hard news is we have to grow in learning how to discern. I don't know about you, but I swing that pendulum back and forth. Sometimes I am so sure that what I am sensing is the plan turns out not to work out. Does that mean I missed it? Or was it just a test? Other times I am paralyzed with concern or...

Donald Miller first came on the national scene as the author of Blue Like Jazz. A movie was recently made of the book so you can catch that if you like, it's sad and may make some angry, but it's his story and was part of his journey to becoming a thought leader in explaining and understanding how people make decisions.

Today, Miller leads a marketing company called StoryBrand. He builds a premise for forwarding products that takes a refreshingly different, and surprisingly kingdom-minded, approach. 

We'll be taking a look at how the StoryBrand approach is in many ways similar to a good coaching session. 

In essence, Coaching is helping someone write the story they want to live.

What's your story? Are you who you want to be?

How about those around you? Those who look to you? Are you helping them write their stories?

Here's a quick overview of StoryBrand. (I found this on google, so I think it is okay to share it, but want to include a plug for the book by the same name,...

In our journey of coaching people better by knowing their Myers-Briggs makeup our third letters are T & F, for Thinking and Feeling. (First, we had I/E for Introversion and Extroversion and then N/S for INtuitive and Sensor,)

Do you know your letters?

I'm an INTJ - Introverted INtuitive Thinker and Judger (more on the 4th letters next time). My husband is ENFJ, so I know a lot about the other letters since we differ on almost all of them. 

Let's talk about T & F. Thinking and Feeling refers to how we make our decisions. Thinkers make decisions from logic. I used to think Feelers made their decisions from emotion and that bothered me because emotions can change, but turns out I was wrong. Feelers make their decisions based on values. Let me explain.

Thinkers look at the facts. They calculate efficiency and cost for effect while factoring in variables to come up with what they feel is the best (most logical) option.

Feelers look at the values. They consider who will...

People are so different! God designed us that way :) Learning to discern how we were designed and how others differ can be one of the most valuable insights we can have personally. (You can learn more in our Destiny by Design course!) 

Our focus today is the N and S orientation in Myers-Briggs. What does the N and S stand for? I'm so glad you asked. 

N = Intuitive (since they already used "I" for Introversion they chose "N" for Intuitive.)

S = Sensor

Here are the definitions. 

Intuitives are future-oriented. They think about what could be. Sometimes they live in a world of what could be, or even what should be. They are often dreaming or thinking of how things should change to move things toward a preferred norm. Intuitives may have a more difficult time living in the present, being content with things as they are, or sometimes even celebrating incremental change. They usually live in the future more than the present and want to implement change through innovation.

...

Bet you didn't ever think I would have a list of reasons titled "Why I don't really like coaching?"

(And why God has better plans than me.)

Here is the honest truth.

1) I would rather have someone tell me what to do. It's hard work having to discern on my own. It would just be easier to have a go-to person who would talk out loud to me and give me step-by-step instructions.

(Turns out God wants a personal relationship with me and for me to have a growing adult relationship with HIm.)

2) I want to be that person for others all the time. I want to tell them what I think. I often feel people are being too risky, or taking too long to move forward, or not counting all the costs... a dozen things. It would be way easier to just share my brilliance than to help them discern the next steps God is guiding them toward.

(But what if? What if their risk tolerance is higher than mine because God made them that way and He IS guiding them toward that choice? What if I am being impatient with...

Chapter 2 of Philippians starts with a list of questions.

Does your life in Christ give you strength? Does his love comfort you? Do we share together in the spirit? Do you have mercy and kindness? 

This verse always makes me pause and think. Does my life in Christ give me strength? In all honesty, sometimes I don't feel strong. I feel like I am not up to all that is on my plate or on my mind...

Then I look at the comfort question - I'm challenged there too. I'm one of those people who doesn't spend too much time thinking about how I feel, but then I spiral into overwhelm because I didn't read the warning signs... 

What Paul could have done was just make statements. That would have gone something  like this:

You should be strong because life in Christ gives you what you need. You should feel comfort and share in the Spirit, as well as have experience receiving and giving mercy and kindness.

I'm quite sure that if that verse was presented like that I would not pause...